Why Unschoolers Do What They Do

11 March 2023

When we first set out on our homeschooling adventure, we thought we were unschoolers because each day, I stood back and let my kids get on with learning. I thought I’d got unschooling all worked out: I recognised my kids were wired to learn, and I was careful not to interfere with their natural curiosity. So all went well for a while.

But then, I got tired of keeping my distance. I yearned to leave the sidelines of homeschooling and get involved with my kids. I had things I wanted to share with them. So, one day, after checking that no unschoolers were looking, I decided to ‘cheat’: I found some books and movies about such things as poetry and Shakespeare and waved them in front of my kids, hoping they’d capture their attention. It worked: one afternoon, my eldest daughter and I settled on the sofa and watched A Midsummer Night’s Dream together and enjoyed it immensely. I liked this way of homeschooling, continued it, and thought we’d left unschooling behind. Except we hadn’t. There’s nothing wrong with offering resources and ideas to our kids, is there? Doing this is called strewing, and it’s an integral part of unschooling.

As you can see, my knowledge of unschooling was very sketchy in the early days. I didn’t understand it very well at all. Maybe that was because unschooling information wasn’t as easily available as it is today. I didn’t know many homeschoolers to share experiences with. We didn’t have the Internet for research. And there weren’t many homeschooling books. Whenever I did discover one, I devoured it from cover to cover. But I was always hungry for more.

One day, I got very excited because I found a book with contributions from many parents who were all homeschooling in different ways, and there was a chapter about an unschooling family! Years later, I only remember several things about this family: they started each morning slowly, maybe they made pancakes for breakfast, and, after eating, everyone put on their skates, mother included. They all rolled down their long driveway to the mailbox to pick up the mail.

Despite only having a vague recollection of this unschooling family’s day, I do remember my initial thoughts clearly: I don’t want to stay in bed late. I’m an early riser. And I don’t want to roller skate. Nor do my kids. So if we want to be unschoolers, what should we do instead? I had no idea.

I read this unschooling story from the outside. I looked at the actions and missed the reasons for doing them. Why were these unschoolers getting up late and skating down the path to get their mail? Maybe the answer is obvious to most people, but it took me a while to come up with some reasons.

Perhaps the unschooling children were night owls, and the mother wasn’t concerned about hurrying them out of bed in the morning. She might have been listening to the needs of her kids. The leisurely breakfast may have indicated she was prepared to linger with her children around the kitchen table instead of rushing to complete unimportant tasks. Maybe she didn’t write long to-do lists of things she thought she had to tick off. She might not have been worried about fulfilling outside expectations. And the roller skating? Could this have been a family passion which the mother was prepared to share with her kids? There’s joy in doing fun things together, isn’t there? Sharing passions also strengths our connections.

From the outside, unschooling can look very different in different families. One family roller skates together. Another family runs along tracks through the bush. A third family may have a passion for video games. Some unschoolers get up before the sun rises. Others lie in bed until the day has well and truly begun. Yes, the unschooling actions vary a lot.

But looking from the inside, unschoolers are very much the same. The unschooling principles guide their actions. There are reasons why unschoolers do what they do.

Years ago, I thought I needed a book telling me what unschoolers do. But, after hearing about unschooling families very different from mine, I realised I needed a book about why unschoolers do what they do. Just reading about typical unschooling days wasn’t enough. I needed to know and understand the principles behind unschooling and how to put them into action with my family.

Recently, I wrote a book just like the one I wanted. It’s called The Unschool Challenge:

The Unschool Challenge is crammed full of challenges or practical things to do that will help remove the challenges or concerns that often prevent parents from adopting an unschooling life.

These unschooling challenges are designed to overcome the challenges of unschooling!

Each challenge focuses on one aspect of unschooling and comes with step-by-step suggestions, loads of questions to ponder, ideas to put into action, and is illustrated by real life stories.

Who are the challenges for?

• Anyone who has doubts about unschooling and is seeking greater understanding of its principles.

Parents who are eager to unschool but don’t know how to put its principles into action.

• Unschoolers who‘ve got stuck and need fresh enthusiasm and ideas to reignite their passion for this way of life.

• Parents who need record-keeping tips that will allow them to unschool their kids while fulfilling homeschooling registration requirements.

• Everyone who‘s not satisfied with their present way of educating and parenting – there must be a better way! – and is eager to set off with their families on a life-changing adventure!

This book of challenges will clear away any obstacles, so parents are free to love unconditionally, trust, and live a full unschooling life bursting with learning with their kids.

So, are you ready to take up The Unschool Challenge?

The Unschool Challenge looks at unschooling from the inside. It also contains lots of stories of  unschooling from the outside: how unschooling looks in our family. But they’re only examples to help readers get started. As I said, unschooling can look different in different families. You don’t need to like running, early mornings, singing or photography to unschool. Those are our things and, maybe, not yours.

I talked about my latest book in episode 191 of my Stories of an Unschooling Family podcast. Did you get a chance to listen? Did you hear me tell the roller skating story and explain my reasons for writing The Unschool Challenge? If you missed my podcast, perhaps you’d like to listen to this short excerpt:

 

If you’d like to check out my book, you’ll find The Unschool Challenge on Amazon.


So, what does your unschooling story look like from the outside? What are your family’s interests?

And have you read The Unschool Challenge? If you have and like it, I hope you’ll spread the word. You could also write a review!

6 Comments Leave a Reply

  1. I did write a short review on Amazon today and gave you five stars! It says it might take 48 hours to post. I also have been trying to promote your books here and there. I hope it helps!

    One thing I have discovered over the years is that a lot of unschoolers/homeschoolers like to write. My kids really do not. It really bothered me for many years. Then I realized my family’s special interest: science and engineering. There is usually one kid still at home with a 3D printer going. I love that my house often resembles an engineering lab! For Christmas this past year, my oldest asked for a rock tumbler. My second oldest asked for a raspberry pi. My fourth son asked for a new computer keyboard that lights up. He was going to ask for a drone but the price went up. After Christmas, he ended up using his own money to buy the drone once the price came down.

    Also, several people in my family like to hike. All the kids like to go to the pool. All the kids like video games. Some people might see video games as a negative thing but my three youngest who are ages 11, 14 and 17 play video games together all the time! It has helped make them close! Also, a lot of our family like chess.

    • Gina,

      I’m so excited: you wrote the first review of The Unschool Challenge! Thank you so much for your kind words and five-star rating. I appreciate you taking the time to help me.

      I enjoyed hearing more about your family’s interests. I love your words about your house being an engineering lab! Isn’t it wonderful when our homes are obvious places of learning, reflecting the interests of our families?

      Even though I have a science degree, my kids’ passions lie in other directions ie music and writing. They like video games too, but I’ve never been able to interest anyone in chess. Andy and I used to play this game until we got too competitive.

      I love how families can be very different from each another. It’s so interesting hearing about different passions!

  2. Dear Sue,

    living in a country, where learning outside of a school building ist strictly prohibited by law and families get prosecuted, becomes a chalenge in itself.
    I know tens of thousands would love to become home/unschoolers, some did became home/unschoolers inspite of the prosecutions – they mostly assume this extremely hard and pioneering role at the moment when their child started to become ill or was even in a danger of committing suicide. Unschoolers and homeschoolers leave yearly by hundreds the country, many live on the road and/or clandestine.
    I would love to get in contact with you. Is there a possibility to write to you?

    I am also interested in your new book which seems so inspiring. Is it possible to buy a digital copy elsewhere than on amazon? Did you think of offering the digital version of your books directly on your page or via some small local bookshop? This would be just great.

    Love and thank you for spreading positive wibes literally around the word

    M.

    • M,

      I’m sorry to hear homeschooling is illegal in your country. That must be very difficult, especially for children who aren’t coping with school. Lack of control often leads to poor mental health, doesn’t it? Children shouldn’t be forced into situations that might lead to thoughts of suicide. I can understand why parents wanting to protect their kids go underground or try to evade the authorities in other ways.

      I’ve been pondering unschooling and school. Can the unschooling principles form the foundation of family life, even if a child has to go to school? Will unconditional love and strong connections help children navigate the school environment? Would it help if a parent partners a child, standing up for them, negotiating the best conditions possible to fulfil their needs? Or do parents not have any influence in their kids’ school experiences? I wonder if an atmosphere of curiosity and adventure could be built up at home. Can parents and kids still share and encourage each other’s passions? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

      I’m so pleased you like the sound of my new book. Many of the challenges in The Unschool Challenge are suitable for unschoolers, homeschoolers and schoolers. I don’t think it’s a book exclusively for unschoolers.

      At the moment, The Unschool Challenge is only available on Amazon, though I’m going to research other options. I like your idea of offering digital versions from my website.

      I’ll send you an email so you can reply if you’d like to write privately.

      Thank you so much for your kind words and love. It’s been good to chat! Sue xx

  3. Hi Sue
    I will be buying this book.
    It’s just what I need, to invite my kids back out of the state school system.
    Your stories have helped me a lot over the years, here in lil ole NZ. I hope to get the chance to tell you more some day – or even meet you if I’m lucky! God also used your stories to be part of my puzzle towards converting to Catholicism from atheism – but that’s a story for another day!
    May God bless you and your family, Sue.
    Tess

    • Tess,

      I’m so glad you think my book will be helpful. Thank you for buying a copy! And thank you for your kind words about my stories. It’s good to share our experiences and encourage each other, isn’t it?

      You said you’re inviting your kids back out of the school system. Does this mean you have been homeschoolers, or even unschoolers, before?

      I’m so excited you’ve found your way to Catholicism! This was something I said I’d never do, but I’m so grateful God softened my heart and led me here. I’d love to hear more about your story.

      Who knows? I may come to New Zealand one day, and then we could meet for coffee and chat face to face! New Zealand is at the top of my list of places to visit. I love looking at photos of your spectacular country and imagine travelling and taking beautiful photos of my own.

      Thank you so much for stopping by to say hello. May God bless you too, Sue

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