There was an ad in my feed for a quirky quilt cover, but how did Instagram know I was searching for something a bit different to throw over my bed? I hadn’t mentioned quilts in my posts.
“The app must listen to our conversations,” I told my husband. We tested that theory by talking extra-loudly about something a little out of the ordinary: facial dermarollers. I wondered how long it would take for Instagram to swamp me with dermaroller ads.
A day passed, and another one. I kept looking, but no dermaroller ads appeared. It seemed my theory was wrong. I shrugged my shoulders and forgot about ads—until yesterday.
Do you remember how I returned to Instagram almost a year ago? Despite having already made three attempts to use this platform, I was excited. This time, things would be different. I planned to do things my way. But things weren’t different. I got overwhelmed again by the noise of all those earnest or angry voices demanding my attention and frustrated by the algorithm, which required me to play the social media game a certain way. (It turned out I wasn’t content with posting photos and captions no one saw.)
Yesterday was hot. I was tired. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do. All I knew was I had to do something more than lounge around complaining about the heat. And then, as I was wilting under the overhead living room fan, I thought, “Perhaps today is the day I finally get around to deleting my Instagram account.” That would make me feel better.
I downloaded my data as suggested before I hit the button to make all my photos and captions disappear. Not long later, I looked at everything that Instagram had collected about me and my life. That’s when I realised why I got quilt ads in my feed: a homewares company I like to visit had alerted Instagram when I researched quilts on their website.
Now, I was aware (but not happy) that Instagram shares personal data with companies to ensure we get ads that will ‘help’ us. Don’t they make sharing data sound good? But I wasn’t aware that companies were sending my personal data in the opposite direction, back to Instagram. Every time I bought a dress, a car cleaning tool, or made a donation to a charity, Instagram knew what I was doing.
Something else bothered me: the last time I deleted my account, Instagram hadn’t removed my data from its platform.
I deleted my Instagram account again. I hope my data disappears this time.
So, what will I do without social media? How will I promote my blog posts, sell my books, and engage in conversations with people equally passionate about unschooling? How will I know what’s going on in the unschooling world?
I think I’ll do fine by continuing to write here on my blog. Yes, I will never get thousands of followers, I won’t be a famous influencer, and I might not make connections that’ll keep guest speaker invitations for online events flowing. But I’ll feel in control of my life again. Anyway, social media never brought me many opportunities because I never played the social media game by the rules. I just couldn’t do it.
Years ago, I yearned to be well-known. I was going to sell a million books. I imagined people flocking to support my work. I worked hard, trying everything possible to spread the unschooling message. Because the ultimate aim was never me. It was to help parents unschool kids.
It’s funny how I’ve changed. I’m still passionate about unschooling. I still want to share stories and ideas that may be helpful. But I no longer want to jump up and down shouting so as many people as possible hear what I’ve got to say. I’m fed up of persuading and competing. I just want to write.
So, I’ll probably keep writing blog posts, turning thoughts and ideas into words. Perhaps I’ll share what I would have written for Instagram and allow myself more than 2,200 characters to say what’s on my mind. Maybe, even without social media’s help, a few people will visit my blog and read my posts.
I’m also going to live more of my life offline.
I recently heard Fr Mike Schmitz say something like this about social media: “We may work in the spotlight, but we shouldn’t live our lives in the spotlight.” That’s excellent advice.
I got the last laugh as I ended my relationship with Instagram. This social media site might have known a lot about me, but why did it think I’m interested in the Bangladesh National Cricket Team, the National Iranian Oil Company and Persian literature? It got a lot of things wrong.
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A few photos I shared on Instagram
I enjoyed your post!
I am only on Facebook. I would love to get off of it completely but I use it to advertise my breastfeeding ministry and also my homeschooling group. Maybe I should delete everything or set it to hide everything except those few groups? I have not figured out the best way to go about it.
When I am on social media, I hardly ever feel good during or afterwards. Maybe you feel this way, too?
When I write new posts for my ministry, I try to purposely not look at how many views my previous posts have gotten. Otherwise, I focus too much on numbers.
Thank you for continuing to write!
Gina,
Facebook can feel necessary, can’t it? Social media has become the way people hear about such things as homeschooling and breastfeeding groups. It’s hard to step away from social media, especially FB groups. Do you have very active communities on Facebook? Maybe your groups are places where you have great conversations?
Years ago, I had a Facebook page for my blog. I spent a lot of time posting things on it but hardly ever got any comments or ‘likes’. So, one day, I told my followers I was going to delete the page. Suddenly, everyone appeared, saying they used the page to keep up with my blog posts. I was tempted to keep the page after hearing this but decided if people wanted to continue reading my blog, they could subscribe to it. The FB page wasn’t really necessary.
For me, social media is a terrible environment. I’m just not happy there. I feel so relieved that I no longer have to think about Instagram.
I try not to focus on numbers either, but it’s difficult to avoid them. Part of me wants to know if people are reading my posts. Is all the hard work I’m putting in worth it? Or should I stop wasting my time and go do something else? Mostly, I avoid numbers. When they’re large, I feel encouraged, but when they’re small, I feel like giving up.
Today, I’m definitely feeling encouraged because of your comment. Thank you so much for your thanks!
I pray that your ministries continue to reach and help many people. Gina, you are doing good work! 🩷😊
You may not be famous or have thousands of followers, but I don’t care, your blog is very important to me, I really like your writing!
La,
Thank you! I really appreciate your kind feedback. If you hear of anyone who might enjoy my blog, will you let them know about it? That would be wonderful! 😊
So thankful for your blog posts! I dont have social media either and its been better for me to be without
I’m glad you’re enjoying my posts! Which topics do you find most helpful?
I’m not missing Instagram. I feel happier now I’m not there. Oh yes, it’s better for me to be without it, too.
Thank you so much for stopping by!
I find your posts on how as a mother you find your confidence, stay on your path following the vision you have for your family & all your advice and tips about how to help yourself when you feel like your not doing enough/FOMO or have doubt peek its head in on the unschooling journey. So glad you wrote often on your blog!
Thank you! I feel encouraged to keep writing when I receive loveky comments like yours. It’s good to share our experiences, isn’t it? We all have doubts and other challenges as we’re raising our kids. Maybe it helps to know we’re not alone.