I’ve just updated my blog. I started at the first post I ever wrote and then worked my way through 14 years of stories, reading each one before deciding whether to keep it or revert it to draft. I then checked the formatting of the retained posts, rearranging paragraphs, eliminating dead links, and changing or improving the images.
As I worked on my blog, rereading the posts, I slowly moved forward in time. When I created this blog, my youngest child was just old enough to be registered as a homeschooler. Now, she’s a young adult supporting herself.
Watching my kids grow up has been engaging, entertaining, thought-provoking, and gratitude-producing as I’ve moved from story to story.
I’ve relived days when our home overflowed with children, pets and possessions, and life was full and sometimes messy.
I’ve reread my children’s thoughts, ideas and hopes for their futures. Some of their dreams became reality. Other dreams changed along the way.
I’ve pondered my own ideas and noticed how I’ve changed since I first became a blogger. I used to be very tentative when expressing my thoughts, using words like ‘maybe’ and ‘perhaps’ often. I wanted to leave the door open in case someone came along and disagreed with me. If anyone challenged my opinions, I had my answer ready: “I’m talking about my family.” (That only happened once.) Gradually, my language changed as I grew in experience and confidence.
Occasionally, I found a post in my archive announcing my departure from blogging. “This is it. I can’t think of anything else to say, so I’m moving on,” I said a few times. “I’m off to do something else.” But I always returned before long. I snuck back to my blog, smiled sheepishly, and continued on. Maybe some readers got used to my goodbye posts, reading them and thinking, “She’ll be back!” Or perhaps they rolled their eyes and said, “Sue should make up her mind about what she wants to do. She’s very indecisive.”
Reading about such things as my podcast, blog post series, unschooling community, free and to-buy books, Zoom calls, Patreon, Buy Me a Coffee, collaboration and guest posts, I can see I have had a million big ideas over the years. I tried them out, and some worked, and some didn’t.
When I arrived at the last post, I thought about the overall story of my blog. If I add everything together to create one message, what would it be? Would I tell you that unschooling will result in a perfect life with kids and parents who never make mistakes? “Hey, look at my posts. Look at my kids! If you unschool, your life could be like ours.” No, I’d say, “Unschooling has its ups and downs. It’s not a perfect way of life. It won’t result in perfect people. But do it anyway. Why? Because it’s the right thing to do.”
I used to blog about such things as unschool maths, how to satisfy homeschooling requirements, my observations on how kids learn, and where to find interesting resources to strew. And though I occasionally return to those topics, my more recent stories revolve around unconditional love, which I discovered is at the heart of unschooling. Love is what our kids need. It’s what we all need. That’s why we’re unschoolers. It’s the reason I’ve continued blogging for so long.
When I’d finished updating my blog, I thought about the future. Now that I’ve organised my blog posts properly, is it time to announce that I’m finished yet again? Have I got to the end of the story? The real end this time. But what would I do instead of blogging about unschooling? I still have the same old problem: no clear idea of what I want to do next.
I wonder if I should resurrect my podcast by recording a new unschooling series. Or I could write a new series of blog posts. Or I could blog and podcast about the same topic. The words ‘One Unschooly Thing’ appear in my mind. What if I suggest one small thing per post that might add a touch of unschooling to people’s lives? It could be a step in an unschooling direction. The suggestion might also be appropriate for unschoolers stuck in a rut. Or anyone who needs a change from what they’re doing. I could add a story or two or links to archive or book stories. The posts could be similar to the challenges in my book, The Unschool Challenge.
I’m excited by this idea. It might work. But do I want to commit to it? Is it really what I want to do? I just don’t know.
Often, we want clear instructions, not just about blogging but, more importantly, how best to raise and educate our kids. We’re afraid. What if we make mistakes? What if our decisions disadvantage our kids? Wouldn’t it be good if a loud voice answered our prayers, telling us precisely what to do? But that’s probably never going to happen. So what do we do?
We can listen. Listen to our kids to discover who they are, their needs, their dreams, and what’s important to them. Listen to our hearts, which will tell us about essential things like love. And in the silence, away from distractions, listen to the soft and gentle voice of the Holy Spirit.
We could consider the options, pray, and then make what seems to be the best decision before striding out into the unknown, trusting that all will be well. Because we can’t stand still, can we? There’s only so much time we can waste. We need to move.
Who knows? Amazing things could happen if we have the courage to follow our hearts and what we know deep down is right.
So what will I do? What will you do?
Will we choose love?
Images
A random selection of photos from previous blog posts.
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That was a lot of work, Sue! A bit like sorting through all my envelopes of photos ☺️😳🤭. I love your last question – will we choose to love? It’s a good Examen each day, have I loved?
Beate,
I love your words:
It’s a good Examen each day, have I loved?
Oh, yes! That’s perfect. I shall remember that at the end of each day.
You are right: sorting through my blog was a lot of work. I had to read almost 1000 posts. I have almost 900 left after reverting some of them to draft form.
Another thing I was thinking about as I worked was how blogging has changed since I created my blog. I reread and enjoyed again many of the comments on my earlier posts. Blogging was so much fun in those days, wasn’t it? Many people have given up blogging and moved to social media. And there’s now substack. Should I have a substack account instead of a blog? I’ve considered that idea but will probably stay here.
So good to chat with you, Beate. I’m glad we still connect from time to time. Sending love xxx
It is good to connect :-). I find myself missing those Yahoo! group days that preceded the blogs. There were some beautiful conversations and such friendships came about. Your blog was always a source of encouragement – it was easier with the old blog reader. Do you remember Strewsday Tuesday? Sending love your way as well ♥️
Beate,
I think I met you in the Yahoo group! Oh yes, we had some beautiful conversations there. I remember when some of the members moved to Facebook. I tried that for a while, but it wasn’t the same. And we had our blogs too and Strewsday Tuesday. I haven’t thought about that for a long time! 🩵😊🩵
Hi Sue!
Just wanted to say hello and that I sympathize. It seems the entire online world is kind of in limbo in terms of where things are going in the years ahead. Google’s evil ways. Social media still popular but a steady trickle of people starting to disconnect from both it and smartphones. People are broke and not buying. Combining that with personal changes and it makes everything seem unsettled, pointless, uncertain…
I had a Substack for a bit. I think it is great for a certain kind of writer, but the fact that I didn’t own the platform made it a no-go for me. If you don’t own it, you don’t control it. I shut it all down.
That said, I’ve thought many times that if I were to start blogging/writing NOW that I have no idea what I would do. Like you, I have a massive website with so much content that stretches back to 2005. The topics are all integrated because the thread of our family runs through most of it so it’s not like I can spin it off into different targeted websites. It complicates everything and I know of others with the same dilemma.
I have no answers. If I did, I’d probably get more done on my own website. LOL! I simply keep it going for now and wait for the inspiration that I think will eventually come.
Sallie
Hi Sallie!
I appreciate your thoughts about Substack. I wondered if I’m getting left behind staying with my blog instead of moving to this platform. But, as you said, our blogs are our own, and someone else owns and controls Substack. That’s one of the things I don’t like about social media. Someone else makes up the rules. Here on my blog, I can do what I like.
I love my blog. Maybe you feel the same way about yours. We’ve put so much love and attention into our blogs, haven’t we? They’re a reflection of our lives.
Spinning off into different targeted websites… I’ve wondered about that too. I started a second blog which has quite a lot of posts on it, but somehow I don’t seem to write new ones regularly. Keeping up with two blogs is far too much work. I need to stick to one or the other. That’s my big problem. Do I leave my unschooling blog and concentrate on the other one? Or stay here where most of my readers are? I’ve been pondering that for a couple of years but haven’t been able to decide what to do. Perhaps I should have done what you’re doing and had multiple threads on this blog. It would have been easier if I had my name as my domain name like you. I could then change my blog name to reflect best its latest content. Or use my own name as a blog title. I like how you’ve done this with your blog.
Keep blogging while we wait for inspiration? That’s a good strategy. I’ve considered abandoning everything, but without knowing what I want to do next, I’d probably end up doing nothing which isn’t very rewarding.
Maybe I’ve stopped appreciating my blog because I’m yearning for new adventures. But if I stop searching for something else, and focus on what is in front of me, could I find exactly what I’m looking for right here? That’s a new thought! Too often we get dissatisfied with what we have, don’t we, thinking we need something else?
I enjoy chatting with you, Sallie! Thank you so much for stopping by to say hello. 🩵
I’m so glad you have decided to keep your blog up, although we are not fully unschooling (yet), I find so much encouragement from your writing.
I’d love to get your thoughts on this recent schole sisters podcast (there is a brief overview on their webpage) about whether we should raise children who ‘love learning ‘.
https://scholesisters.com/raising-children-who-love-to-learn/
Tania,
I’m so glad you find my blog posts encouraging. Thank you for letting me know!
Reading the podcast overview quickly – I should listen to the whole episode to comment on it properly – I’ll give some initial thoughts. Yes, I can see why many parents think we should practise tough love when it comes to learning. We all know the feeling of achievement we get when we’ve pushed through a hard learning experience and come out the other side. So making kids stick to a learning task even if it involves pain seems to make sense.
But I know kids aren’t afraid of hard work. They’re curious people, wired to learn. The problem is that parents and teachers can squash natural curiosity and a love of learning by insisting kids learn what they feel is best. This is what happened to me. Too many years of school and university killed my love of learning. I had to rediscover it as an adult.
Perhaps the problem isn’t really about love of learning. Could it be more about parents and kids disagreeing about what kind of learning is important? Should kids be allowed to learn the things that interest them? Or do some parents think their ideas are better? Maybe parents think kids have no real idea about what knowledge they will need for the future. And this is true. (No one does.) But, as John Holt said, kids know what they need to know right now. They know themselves better than anyone else.
Maybe some parents think they should push their kids so they gain the habit of persevering through difficult situations. This implies that a child on his own will give up if learning isn’t pleasurable. But that’s not my experience. My kids were always setting themselves challenges that involved pain, and they worked hard to fulfil them. They got that wonderful feeling of satisfaction when the challenge was completed. They worked hard, despite the pain, because they wanted to. The things they were doing were important to them. That motivated them to persevere when things got tough.
Now I’ve had another thought: things don’t have to be easy to be enjoyable. Hard work can have its own pleasures. When Gemma-Rose was nine, she wrote NaNoWriMo novels which wasn’t an easy task. (Many adults start NaNoWriMo and give up.) Day after day, my daughter sat at her computer, typing her story until she got to the end. She enjoyed the whole experience and felt so proud when she finished. So maybe there are times when we assume a difficult learning experience will be unpleasant when it’s not.
If kids love learning then they have the motivation to learn whatever knowledge and skills they need. Maybe we all agree about that. So, do we trust our kids’ inbuilt curiosity will be sufficient? Or do we squash this curiosity and love of learning, and then have to find a way to instil them in our children once again?
A few quick thoughts!
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! I’ve experienced the squashing of a love of learning as well. Have you written elsewhere a out your children setting and meeting their own challenges? For example, a couple of mine have dyslexia, and I can’t imagine them wanting or being able to read on their own. Teaching them to read was so difficult.
We’re on summer break now and our days are generally calm. It’s stressful to think of going back to our homeschool routine (there are many things we enjoy, others like writing and math cause tantrums of frustration in certain children of mine) and juggling school, toddlers and household responsibilities.
Tania,
My kids set themselves loads of challenges but didn’t need to challenge themselves to read, because they never experienced any difficulties, such as dyslexia. So, I don’t know much about dyslexia, though I’ve heard that waiting until a child wants to read is helpful. (Maybe it seems like that will never happen!) Then the child is motivated to find a way to do this with a parent’s help. But maybe that’s not every family’s experience. I’m sorry, I just don’t know.
I’ve also heard that a light-coloured font on a darker background is easier for kids with dyslexia to read. And the other day, I saw something about a special dyslexia font.
It sounds like you wish the holidays could last forever and don’t want to return to your school term routine. Could you continue what you’re doing? Or do you feel pressured to resume a more formal learning life? If you were convinced your kids are learning, even though they’re not ‘doing school’, would you feel happier about unschooling? You could start jotting down all the things your kids are doing, and then think about the learning they’re experiencing. It might seem as if no one is doing much at all while enjoying the summer, but I bet there’s lots going on!