Is unschooling about staying in bed late, spending lazy days in the forest, and baking cookies? Or is there more to unschooling than that? What does a typical unschooling day look like? Will it be different in different families? Will it change over time? Whatever it looks like, will it always be packed with deep learning, the kind that matters and makes a difference?
Recently, I followed a few links and found myself on a classical homeschooling forum reading a thread about unschooling. One mother said she’d never unschool because she believes unschooled kids’ knowledge is superficial and limited. How much do children really learn while cooking cookies and wandering wild and free in the forest? Surely the only way to gain in-depth knowledge is to buckle down and learn it formally from books and courses?
I’ve read similar comments before. Many people believe that unschooling isn’t enough. It might be a wonderful way to live – who doesn’t want to lie in bed as long as you like and then do only the things that appeal to you? – but it won’t prepare kids for the real world which will, one day, involve finding jobs that will support them.
It seems many people don’t understand what unschooling is all about. They don’t realise that curiosity motivates kids to learn. Children have inbuilt desires to chase after knowledge and seek challenges. They want to live purposeful lives, knowing they and their interests are important and capable of changing the world. Unschooled kids will learn all they need to know unless, of course, adults squash their curiosity and passion for learning by insisting they know what’s best for them, forcing them to do what they consider important, in ways and on timetables that don’t correspond to children’s’ needs.
Unschooling is much more than sleeping late, tramping through a forest and baking cookies. But what if that was indeed an accurate description of a child’s unschooling life?
Imagine having stimulating conversations with a child that last far into the night. Or what if a child is so deeply involved with an activity, he’s unable to break away without losing some valuable learning, so he continues to work, despite the late hour? What about the connection that comes from staying up late and enjoying a movie together, knowing no one is going to say, “Time for bed!” at an inappropriate moment? And what if kids just function better late in the day? Not everyone is designed to be a morning person. Late nights lead to late mornings, but what’s wrong with that if time is our own? Of course, a child, especially if she is a teenager, might need to sleep longer, even if she got into bed at a regular hour.
Baking cookies, besides adding pleasure to life, could lead kids on some fabulous learning adventures. Cooking could become a passion that involves creative arts, maths, English, science and even geography and history.
And then there’s the forest. Why shouldn’t kids run free in nature, testing their bodies, exploring, looking at everything with a sense of awe and wonder, using their imaginations, observing, asking questions, satisfying their curiosity? Forest adventures result in lots of treasured memories. They also lead to lots of discussion, googling and reading too.
I understand the forum mother’s concern about unschooling. Our unschooling lives are good. Our kids are free to learn and do what they like. But that doesn’t mean they do nothing much at all. Unschooling days aren’t empty, a waste of time. Each one is packed with learning experiences. Even when a child is in a rest phase – we all need these times – he’s thinking, dreaming, and processing what he’s just learnt before moving onto a new season of his learning life.
Here are some of our family’s typical unschooling day stories:
A Typical Unschooling Day at Home
My Unschooling Teenagers’ Typical Days
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with kids spending all day running wild and free in the forest. Or the garden. They’re just doing what kids ought to do.
Doing What Kids Ought to Do
Typical Day Stories from Curious Unschoolers
You’ll find these stories in my unschooling book, Curious Unschoolers:
A Typical Unschooling Day
The Ingredients of a Typical Unschooling Day
An Unschooling Day at Home
A Typical Unschooling Morning with My Girls
My Teenagers’ Unschooling Days
What Other Unschoolers Are Saying about Their Typical Days
What Does Unschooling Look Like? A Week in the Life from the Happiness Is Here website
Typical Unschooling Days from Sandra Dodd’s website
What’s Behind a Typical Unschooling Day? by Pam Laricchia from the Living Joyfully website
A Day in the Life with Teens, Young Adults, Pets and Whole Life Learning by Erin from the Ever Learning website
The Podcast Version of this Post
A Last Thought
Even if the homeschooling forum mother read my stories, she might not be convinced. She could say, “But what about university? I want my kids to be prepared for that possibility.” Well, unschooled kids can go to university too. I have lots of university stories here on my blog!
Photos
Photos by Markus Spiske, Unsplash
So, What Do You Think?
What does unschooling look like in your family? Are you happy letting your kids spend their days doing the things that interest them? Or perhaps you sometimes feel uncomfortable and wonder if you should structure their homeschooling a bit more?
Why not stop by to chat? I’d love to hear your story!
This is a great post, Sue! It would be nice to get a discussion going about this because it is hard to tease out the subtle and hidden benefits of unschooling when very often being reminded of how it falls short of a “good education.”
Hi Emily,
It’s so good to hear from you! Oh yes, there are lots of critics ready to tell us unschooling falls short of a good education. Without proper understanding, it’s easy to dismiss it in favour of more traditional forms of education. Structured learning, even though it has its problems and isn’t always effective, has a long history. It’s what people are used to. Maybe that’s why it’s appealing. It seems safe and accepted by the majority. But unschooling is something that requires a new way of thinking and a letting go of old ideas, which can be difficult. If you’re still part of the unschooling community, maybe we can have a discussion about this topic there.
I hope all is well with you and your family. Thank you so much for stopping by!
Yes, that’s a good idea. I’ll try to get something going there. I think we do trade some academic depth that we get in a well-planned curriculum. But if the benefits of being more self-directed are great enough and the negative side effects of structured curricula are what we are trying to avoid, then it’s worth the trade.
Thank you for conversing about this!
We recently went on a weekend trip with friends who have 2 schooled daughters (supplemented with parents schooling them at home after class) and I felt terrible. My son was mocked because he isn’t reading or writing. I ended crying in my room feeling the worst mom ever. It was discouraging to say the least. I live in Thailand, I’ve only met one other unschooler, I feel like I’m ruining my children’s lives. How do you help your children to make friends? Most kids here are super busy with school until 3 pm and extracurricular after that! It’s insane but it’s hard to feel reassured that I’m doing the best for them
Flor,
Oh, it’s so hard when people close to us don’t support us. We need friends who encourage us and don’t mock our children. I’m so sorry your friends’ words caused you to feel terrible.
We can feel so lonely when we’re trying to do something different from the crowd, can’t we? We question what we’re doing. We wonder if we’ll end up ruining our kids’ lives.
While my kids were growing up, we didn’t have any unschooling friends either. I’d have loved to have had a like-minded friend to share my thoughts, joys and worries with. It would have been good if my kids had had some unschooling friends too. But that didn’t happen. Like you, I was concerned about this sometimes. Should we do what everyone else was doing so we’d fit in and be accepted? I decided we had to be ourselves and do what we felt was right, regardless of what everyone else was doing. But it wasn’t easy.
My kids made friends by joining interest groups such as St John Ambulance. We also went to homeschool camps where we joined in with the activities, not talking much about how we were homeschooling. We found connections other than homeschooling, like our faith, that joined us to our community.
Would it help if you connected with some unschoolers online? Perhaps you could join a community where you might find kindred spirit friends and receive support and encouragement. Our Unschooling Together community is a very friendly place. Maybe there are parents there who understand your situation and would like to share their experiences with you. I’ll add a link in case you’d like to join us:
https://stories-of-an-unschooling-family.mn.co/