Here’s another younger unschooler story. My daughter Gemma-Rose was 8 when I wrote this post. Being the youngest child in the family, Gemma-Rose often slipped under my radar as far as teaching her the essential skills of life goes. But did that matter? Regardless of me, did she learn what she needs to know?
A couple of weeks ago, Gemma-Rose thrust her feet towards me and said, “Please can you lace up my shoes for me, Mum?”
I was busy tying my own laces so I replied, “Can’t you do up your own shoes?”
Gemma-Rose shook her head and I was aghast. My youngest daughter is eight years old and somehow I forgot to teach her how to tie shoelaces. And then I remembered something: These were new shoes, her first pair of lace-up ones. She’s always had the Velcro-fastening kind before.
We were in a hurry to get out the door and down to the playing fields, so I didn’t stop and demonstrate lace tying. Instead, I did them up for her myself.
And apparently, Imogen did them up for Gemma-Rose the next day and the next and the next.
Then last Monday, as we were preparing for our morning run, I said, “Come over here, if you want me to help you with those shoes.”
“It’s okay, Mum. I can tie them myself.”
“But I didn’t show you how. How did you learn?”
“I asked Charlotte to tie my shoes for me after swimming on Saturday and she didn’t really want to, so she just showed me how to do it myself.”
Three weeks ago, Gemma-Rose had no lace tying need: She didn’t own shoes with laces. Last week she had no need: She had willing helpers to do the job for her. This week because of a need, she is a now a fully qualified shoe-lacer-upper.
Having a need is obviously the best motivation for learning.
So Gemma-Rose can now tie laces. But what else have I forgotten to teach her, that she should already know? And what are the ‘essentials’ she needs to learn before her homeschooling education is over? How will I make sure I have everything covered?
John Holt said:
Since we can’t know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it is senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to learn whatever needs to be learned.
I think about this. How can I possibly know what sort of world Gemma-Rose will be moving into when she is grown up? The world is changing so quickly that I have no idea what it will be like in a few years’ time.
After graduating from university, my husband Andy worked in the same industry for 25 years and then his job disappeared. He had the opportunity to do a post-graduate degree and study for a whole new career. And although Andy was excited at the prospect, he was a little nervous too.
“The world has changed so much since I last attended uni,” he confided to me. “We didn’t even use computers when I did my last degree. Will I be able to cope? All the other students will be young and they’ll be familiar with the modern way of learning.”
I assured Andy he’d have no problems at all. He’d soon pick up all he needed to know. And he did. He graduated in the top 2% of his year and was awarded a Dean’s Medal. I was a delighted and very proud wife. But Andy had difficulty believing his achievement until the medal was actually placed in his hand, which was rather silly. Andy is a father who loves to learn. And so he had no trouble learning what he needed to know.
But back to Gemma-Rose. With such an unpredictable future, should I try and stuff as much knowledge into her as possible, just in case?
Or should I just encourage her love of learning, and then trust she will learn everything she needs to know?
Image: I took this photo more than 6 years ago. We were returning from a morning run around our playing fields. Don’t the girls look young? Looking at this picture of Gemma-Rose, it’s hard to believe that she’ll be entering a 10 K next Sunday and competing with girls/women 13 – 35. Yes, she’s still running!
Has anyone else ever had an experience similar to my shoelace tying one? And do you ever worry that your kids won’t learn all they need to know?
Its kind of funny, in some ways my homeschooling /unschooling days are done. Nathan’s older sister Shelby has spurred him on to community college ( and i was worried he had no interest)! He is registered and Lord willing will begin in the fall here in the USA. Majoring in visual design. Has he learned everything that he knows yet at 19? Not sure but he definitely does know how to tie his shoes as do all of his siblings older than him. And since he’s baby somehow they all learned. LOL
Nancy,
Isn’t it funny how, when our kids are young, we worry so much about such things as tying shoelaces? It’s not likely they’ll get to adulthood without picking up these skills!
I’m so happy for you and Nathan. A new stage in life. I hope you’ll keep me updated. I love hearing about what you’re doing. I wonder if you’d like to share some of Nathan’s story as a contribution for my podcast. It could be an anonymous recording if you’d like to preserve your privacy. I think you’d have lots of interesting things to say. No problem if you’d rather not!
This is brilliant! Thanks for posting it! The five-year-old here is starting to do the same thing with reading. We read to him, his sister read to him, and now finally, he’s starting to decide that that’s something he’d like to do for himself.
Hamilton,
It’s so exciting when a child decides he’d like to learn to read. Maybe your son doesn’t want to wait until someone is available and willing to read to him? I remember my kids wanting to read the stories for themselves!
Yes, it is hard to go against the grain. The schools tell parents that kids need every grammar lesson and every math lesson or they will fall behind. But we know our children are learning! My 7 year old is learning to read more and more every day without reading lessons. It’s magical.
Venisa,
I love how you described your 7 year old’s reading. It is indeed magical watching kids learn!
Hey Sue, I may be interested in contributing to a podcast. Just let me know what’s required. Love Nancy
Nancy,
That was a quick response. And a positive one too! I’d LOVE to receive a contribution from you. Thank you. I shall email you and share some details. xx