All seven of my unschooled kids went to university when they were 14 and got their degrees before they reached adulthood.
No they didn’t. That’s wrong. I lie! But wouldn’t it be impressive if they had all done that? I could have written a book called Brainy Unschoolers: how to get your kids into university at a young age. I might have sold a million copies.
Is it necessary that I impress? Do I need to prove my kids are well educated before expecting anyone to read my blog or my books or my IG posts? “Hey, Sue, why should we listen to you? Did your kids go to uni? Do they have safe and secure jobs?” Are they unschooling poster kids worthy of being written about?
Yes, academic achievements attract a lot of attention. Maybe people want to be reassured that their kids will be able to get into university at the end of their unschooling experience. Will they be able to get good jobs? Will they be set for life, be financially secure?
But are there things other than money that we should be thinking about when we consider the homeschooling and parenting options?
Do we want to bring up kids who know they’re okay because we’ve accepted them for who they are? Do we want them to pursue work that’s important to them and brings them joy? Would we like our children to live purposeful lives, doing what they think God wants them to do?
Would we like our kids to feel unconditionally loved and then love in return?
A couple of days ago, my son Duncan appeared on our doorstep with two foil-covered dishes still warm from the oven: “I’ve cooked a sausage meat and apple pie for you. And there’s some potato wedges as well.” Hearing that sister Gemma-Rose has covid and is isolated at home, and wondering if the rest of us will get sick too, Duncan had decided to take away one concern of our day: what shall we have for dinner?
As I took the meal, I thanked Duncan and told him I appreciate his concern, his thoughtfulness, his love.
His love? It’s love that makes a difference, isn’t it? It’s love that will change the world.
Should we try to impress each other with our kids’ achievements? Or is it more important to encourage each other to do what is right: love unconditionally, forgive mistakes, accept and respect one another, and trust?
btw, you might be interested to hear that Duncan has two degrees. Unschooled kids can go to university if that’s what they want to do. Further education is definitely an option for some people. But it’s not essential. Unlike love.
Love is for everyone.
Will a book about unconditional love attract hearts and attention? I hope so because I’ve written one. It’s called Radical Unschool Love. If you read it, I hope it brings you joy.
Sue, I LOVE this post! Cuts straight to the point and I love your intro too! ?
Hope the covid bug isn’t too rough on Gemma-Rose or the rest of you. And how lovely of Duncan!
Sandie,
I had fun with the first few words of this story. Unfortunately, there are probably people who would want those words to be true. Maybe they’re looking for a book about getting kids into university at a very young age. Which is a bit sad.
Gemma-Rose is feeling much better, thank you!
So glad you liked this post. Thank you for your kind feedback!
Yes! I was listening to an unschooling podcast some weeks ago and there was a quote I loved “our value as human beings is inherent and not based on what we produce, learn, or achieve” it is not the academic success that will define our lives, and, anyway, there is no guarantee of it in the traditional school system… Such a lovely gesture from your boy, I hope your daughter is feeling ok.
Jennifer,
I love the words you quoted and agree with them! What podcast were you listening to? There are some great ones to choose from, aren’t there?
Gemma-Rose is feeling better and is getting impatient to go back to work. Only a few more days!
Thank you so much for stopping by!
HI Sue,
Thank you, its lovely to read your posts! I’m glad Gemma-Rose is feeling better.
The podcast is this one https://livingjoyfully.ca/blog/2022/04/eu325-unschooling-through-menopause-with-sara-yasner/ The guest gave the quote.
All the best!
Jennifer,
Thank you so much for the link. I will listen to the podcast! Pam Laricchia finds some interesting people to talk to, doesn’t she? I enjoy her unschooling chats.
I hope you’re enjoying the weekend!
Wishing Gemma-Rose good and fast recovery! It is wonderful that Duncan came over to support you in such a loving way! Homemade pies are the best!
“Further education is definitely an option for some people. But it’s not essential. Unlike love.” Yes, yes, yes!!!
All the best for you and your family! Sunny greetings!
Luana,
Thank you! Oh yes, Duncan was wonderful doing something practical to show his support. The pie was delicious! Duncan has a pie book and he’s been trying out the recipes. He’s a good cook!
It’s wonderful to have some sunny greetings. It’s very cold and windy here. After only 11 days of winter, we’re yearning for spring!
Sending love to you and your family. ❤️
I hope you all feel better soon!
There aer so many ways to measure achievement, (probably one specific to every person on Earth?), and so many of them don’t involve academics. Thanks for pointing out that success isn’t necessarily a degree and we all have something different that matters to us 🙂
Hamilton,
It’s so good to connect with you! It’s been a long time since we last chatted. I’m guessing your kids have grown a lot since we last swapped comments. I bet they are just as independent and adventurous and curious about maths as I remember!
Oh yes, we all have something that matters to us. So many people seem to end up in places they didn’t want to go, abandoning the things that bring them alive. That’s sad, isn’t it?
Thanks so much for stopping by!
I am so sorry to hear that Gemma Rose is sick! I hope she gets better quickly and that the rest of the family (including you!) stays healthy! That was so thoughtful of Duncan to make dinner for all of you!
I struggle with the whole idea in your post but I also completely agree with it! I grew up doing very well academically. You did, too, right? Now my two oldest kids are doing well academically and I am so, so proud of them but I don’t want that to affect how I talk to or feel about my other kids if they do not do as well academically.
I just want to continue to have a close relationship with my kids and for my kids to enjoy their careers and to make enough to take care of themselves. I also hope they will be thoughtful like your son, Duncan 🙂
Gina,
Thank you for your concern about our health. It took a while, but we’re all \|well again!
Oh yes, academic success is something to be very proud of. Our hearts do overflow with gratitude and a sense of awe when our kids are awarded such things as their university degrees. But maybe it isn’t the piece of paper itself \that makes us feel proud but the way our kids have worked hard and persevered through the obstacles? Kids can do that whether they pursue academic goals or something completely different, can’t they?
I remember feeling so full of joy when Gemma-Rose received a trophy for a 10 km run. She’d run every morning in the worst of weathers, never giving in, and all that work paid off. Gemma-Rose’s joy increased my joy. I was a very proud mother!