Unschooling Books and Bedtimes

13 April 2019

Knock! Knock! My husband Andy looked at me and I looked at him. We both looked at the clock. Who could that be at our front door, at 8 o’clock on a weekday evening? Andy heaved himself out of his armchair and plodded off to find out.

“Hello!” Our new friends Tony and Ellie appeared in the doorway of our living room. “I hope you don’t mind us dropping by.” They smiled, their eyes meeting mine. Then their eyes wandered downwards and the smiles disappeared. “Oh! I hope we haven’t caught you at an inconvenient moment.”

“No,” I reassured them, as I adjusted the baby on my lap. Her head was buried under my pyjama top. “I’m just feeding the baby and relaxing.”

“Sit down,” welcomed Andy, as he scooped up all the baby bits and pieces, to make room on the sofa for our unexpected guests.  “I’ll make some coffee.”

Should I slip off to the bedroom and put on some day clothes? Or could I entertain our guests in my blue flannelette PJs and fluffy slippers? I remained where I was. Why wake the baby?

So we spent the evening chatting and sipping coffee, with everyone trying very hard not to look at my night clothes.

That was the last time Tony and Ellie ever came to visit us in the evening. Actually, it was the last time they ever came to visit.

So what’s the moral of this story? Never put on your pyjamas until it’s time to go to bed, just in case unexpected guests knock at the door? Or never visit anyone in the evening, without phoning ahead first?

What do you think?


Maybe you’ve heard that story before. I wrote it a few years ago as part of the April A-Z blogging challenge. I also shared it during this week’s podcast Unschooling Books and Bedtimes.

Yes, I made a new podcast episode! Three blog posts and a podcast: Haven’t I been unusually productive this week?! I didn’t plan to make a podcast. Yesterday, I was going to continue proofreading the manuscript for my second unschooling book Radical Unschool Love. But then I found a lovely comment on one of my Instagram posts:

I’ve been listening to your GREAT podcasts @stories_ofan_unschoolingfamilyand I just love them! I’m so happy to be on this always unschooled journey with my kids. Thank you for all you do to empower this wonderful lifestyle!

After reading those words – aren’t they wonderfully kind? – I said to myself, “Maybe I should make a new podcast!”

It’s amazing how motivating kind feedback is. I try and remember this with my kids. They sometimes need to know that they’re going in the right direction, that they’re spending their time and energy on things that are making a difference, that I believe in what they’re doing. Of course, there are also times when they do things just for themselves.

Anyway, I found myself back in front of my mic after a break of a few weeks. None of my girls could join me – they were at work – so I did a solo episode. I decided to answer some recent blog comment questions about kids, sleep, and bedtimes.

Here’s what episode 150 is all about:

This week, I’m chatting about unschooling and bedtimes.

  • What if our kids want to stay up late?
  • Can kids get up early if they have to?
  • Do we sometimes want our kids to go to bed early because it suits us?
  • What if we are criticised because of the way we parent our kids?

Also, I share

  • My latest unschooling book news
  • An excerpt from my book Curious Unschoolers.
  • Some family news.
  • And a few bits and pieces!

An excerpt from my book Curious Unschoolers? Yes, I share the first few pages. I hope it gives you an idea of what my book is all about.


Show Notes

Youtube

Sue Elvis

 


Photo

This is my youngest daughter Gemma-Rose snuggling up to Quinn, our Shar Pei / Great Dane dog.

Gemma-Rose slept in our bed when she was a baby (like most of my kids). Later, she moved into sister Imogen’s bed. These days she’s got a bed of her own. Her own? That’s not quite right. Quinn shares Gemma-Rose’s bed. I wonder if some people would disapprove. Are there rules about dogs sleeping in beds? Not in our home!

Thank you for listening to this episode. If you enjoy my podcast, please consider sharing the link so that we can spread the word about unschooling. A quick review or rating would help too!

And please feel welcome to stop by and say hello or comment on this podcast episode.

Are you a night owl or an early riser? What about your kids? Are your sleep patterns in sync? I’d love to hear your bedtime stories!

Also, what do you think of the opening pages of my book?

6 Comments Leave a Reply

  1. Speaking about bedtimes, our teens are night owls. I seem to have become one too to fit their lifestyle. My husband goes to bed and rises earlier to go to his work. It all seems to fit together as long as they are considerate of noise at night. Sometimes I do need to gently remind them 🙂
    I can’t wait to have a copy of your book in my hands. How exciting!
    xo Jazzy Jack

    • Jack,

      Sometimes I think I should stay up later than I do so that my timetable syncs better with my family’s. Occasionally, I find out that they’ve watched a good movie or had a delicious supper or enjoyed some interesting conversations without me! But like your husband, I need to get to bed if I’m to rise early.

      Your excitement about my book makes me feel extra excited. Thank you!

  2. Great podcast! Jon and I listened together and we are going to give it a try! Bedtime has been a battle lately. We let the bed kids stay up as a treat and the little kids go to bed so the rest of us can have some quiet time. But maybe it will work for us and we will be down a major battle!

    • Venisa,

      The evening is the worse time for a battle, isn’t it? Everyone’s tired and ready for some quiet time. I hope things work out for you and your little ones!

      Thank you to you and Jon for listening to my podcast!

  3. Hi Sue – bought your book on kindle two fats ago and it has bought me so much peace! We are a long way from unschooling but your advice to take it gradually is so welcome. We are expecting our 4th bubs in 6 weeks and I’ve been working 1-2 days a week which just makes everything overwhelming – until I read your book. When I leave the mummy guilt at the front door and just enjoy our children, the peace is tangible. Thanks for your podcast too. Vicky

    • Vicky,

      It’s wonderful that you’ve read my book! I’m so glad it brought you peace. Oh yes, life can sometimes get overwhelming, can’t it? When I stopped trying to fulfil other people’s expectations and instead focused on my kids and our need to enjoy being a family, things turned around. But I will admit I also felt a bit guilty at times. I wondered if there are certain things in life that we just have to do. Perhaps our daily struggles are part of doing our parental duty. Maybe we just have to knuckle down and get on with it. Had I given up and taken the easy way out? However, despite the occasional guilty feeling, I wasn’t prepared to go back to the tiredness and battles and everything else that was coming between me and my kids. The good news is that the mummy guilt disappears after a while. Peace increases as we realise this is what we should be doing!

      You will soon be heading into one of the most delightful times of life: the baby season! I hope you keep well and have a safe delivery.

      Thank you so much for stopping by with your kind feedback about my book. It’s been good chatting with you!

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