She was tempted to aim low, afraid to risk failure, but she knew she shouldn’t settle for ordinary. More was expected. So she gathered her courage, did what she should, and life got exciting. And she changed.
How often do we aim low because we’re too afraid to risk disappointment or failure? We want to stay where it’s comfortable and won’t be criticised, so we fail to dream, use our talents, and live life to the full.
We could also be reluctant to encourage our kids to follow their dreams. What if they don’t succeed and get hurt? What will everyone think of their failed efforts? Instead of saying, “Give it a go!”, we say, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” We say the same words to ourselves. We want a guarantee of success before we begin, not realising the outcome isn’t important.
So, we tell ourselves that ordinary is good enough. It doesn’t matter what our kids or we achieve as long as everyone is happy. And this could be true unless we’re not doing what we should because we’re too afraid.
We content ourselves with the ordinary rather than pursue the extraordinary. We say, “Not everyone was born for greatness. Some of us have to live quiet lives.” And, yes, not everyone will make a big splash, the world won’t hear about all of us, but we’re all called to do great things.
Of course, there are things other than fear of criticism or failure that could hold us back from achieving our full potential. We might also be afraid of hard work. Some things seem difficult, so we’d rather not do them. We tell ourselves no one will miss our work, so we give ourselves permission not to pursue it.
Or we invent other excuses: “I’m too old,” I might say. “I’ll leave the younger parents to spread the word about unschooling. They’re more in touch. They’ll do a better job than me.”
Then there’s a reason that might apply to younger people or those yearning to try something new: “I haven’t got enough experience. I’m not qualified to do this work.”
And how about tiredness? Greatness is okay for others, but we’re overwhelmed doing the basics. There’s no time for dreams. We’re too busy trying to survive. I remember times like that. I’d put one foot in front of the other, dragging myself through the days and nights, seeing to the needs of my kids. Accepting those times, putting our own desires on hold, is definitely doing something great out of love, especially when we go back and do it again, child after child. But when the busy days pass, do we think about our talents and what else we are called to do?
Could we also convince ourselves that it’s humble to settle for less? Who are we to think we’re capable of achieving more?
What would happen if we gathered our courage, ignored our fears, and were willing to feel uncomfortable and work hard? Perhaps we’d feel fully alive, live more exciting lives, and use the talents God has given us to do worthwhile things. We might change. We’d definitely be good examples for our kids. We want our children to be joyful, courageous and confident enough to go out into the world, accept its challenges, and know that their lives have a purpose, don’t we? Maybe what we want for them has to begin with us.
So should you be brave? Should I gather up my courage too? What will we do? Where will we go? How will we grow?
The last challenge – number 76 – in my book, The Unschool Challenge, is called Be Brave. In this challenge, I shared the struggles I had finishing the book:
I started writing this book a long time ago. It was an exciting project at first. But then the excitement disappeared, and all I could see was work and more work. Questioning whether I wanted to finish the book, I put the manuscript aside for a while and did easy things such as aimlessly browsing the Internet. But I soon discovered that avoiding the hard work of writing didn’t make me happy. I knew God created me for more than easy endless scrolling. It was time for me to be brave and face the difficult things: I challenged myself to get up at 5 am, run, and also finish The Unschool Challenge.
How about you? Do you yearn to do something worthwhile too? Do you want to feel the satisfaction that results from conquering challenges? Would you like your kids to follow your example and use their freedom to work hard on the things that matter to them?
Do you want to feel brave enough to do what you think is right for your kids even if it’s difficult?
Even when we know what we should do, it can be hard to actually do it, can’t it? Excuses rush in to divert our attention away from our chosen goal. We tell ourselves we’re too busy, too old, or too tired. We haven’t got enough experience, it’s too late or our talents aren’t needed. Sometimes the most difficult thing about doing something difficult is silencing those voices so we can begin.
Well, I managed to finish the book. And when I’d done that, I had a great sense of satisfaction. But I also felt relieved, and I wanted to avoid taking on any further challenges. At first, I told myself I didn’t have to. I’d done enough. Except I knew deep down, that wasn’t true: I still have great things to do. Here’s what I said about that:
Now that I’ve finished The Unschool Challenge, the big question is: what’s next? Is it time for me to sit back, focus on myself and enjoy life? I could spend my days reading, walking dogs, knitting, watching YouTube and drinking coffee. One of my kids suggested that after many years of parenting, homeschooling and sharing unschooling with others, it would be quite okay to do this: “You’ve done your work, Mum. It’s time to take time for yourself.” Yes, I could take life easy.
But I don’t think I’m finished yet. I’m sure there are still big things ahead of me. New adventures to enjoy, lots of challenges to embrace and more learning to do.
And more love.
Love is what’s most important, isn’t it? Love helps us to be brave and do what is right. It helps us to meet challenges and do difficult things. It’s the reason we get up in the middle of the night to comfort a child when we’d rather stay in bed.
Love is at the heart of our unschooling lives.
And this is the very last thought I’d like to leave with you:
When in doubt, when you don’t know what to do, choose love.
You could…
✪ Do Challenge 76: Be Brave if you haven’t already done it.
✪ Read these brave and gritty stories:
✪ Listen to both parts of Episode 9 of the Virtual Kitchen Table podcast.
I joined Hayley from Taking a Kinder Path, Erin from Ever Learning and Ashley from Ashley as Mama and Storytime Shelves to discuss deschooling alongside an overview of my book, The Unschool Challenge. In Part I, I talked about the difficulties I faced writing the book.
`✪ Stop by and share the things you would like to do. What great things are calling you? Is there anything preventing you from doing them?
