Unconditional Love: the Glue that Sticks Us Together

I miss my Mother’s Day breakfast. My husband, Andy, and some of our adult kids enjoy coffee and pastries after the early Sunday Mass without me. I’m at home, a blanket drawn up to my chin with razor blades scratching my throat and a drum beating in my head: I’m unwell.

Mother’s Days, like birthdays, can be full of expectations. We don’t expect to be sick. We want all our kids to remember us. Will they visit? Will they phone? Will they say, “I love you, Mum”?

Do we expect to feel happy on this annual celebration of motherhood? Or maybe not? Do we think about the children who are no longer with us? Will we feel sad about what could have been but isn’t? Will we bask in the love of those by our sides? Will we be grateful we’re mothers?

Some years back, I had a rotten Mother’s Day. It followed on the heels of a week full of problems. I felt like I was failing as a parent, so when I woke up on Mother’s Day, I didn’t want to receive gifts from eager children with smiles and hugs. I was an imposter, not worthy of attention. I wanted to run away. Tears spurting from my eyes, I told my kids, “I don’t want to be a mother anymore!”

My kids could have got upset by my hurtful words and the rejection of their gifts. They might have said: “Don’t you love us? What did we do wrong? Aren’t you glad you’ve got us?” But they didn’t. They wrapped their arms around me and loved me as I was. And that unconditional love released all the pain and hurt inside me. It came flooding out to be replaced by gratitude and love. Suddenly, I felt blessed and was determined to be the best mother I could be.

On the evening of Mother’s Day, a few of my children brave my germs and come to dinner. They have a bag of carefully chosen gifts and a card for me. As I open the card, I think about how much I need to be loved and how there are times when love seems to falter because life is full and challenging and people are so complicated.

I read the inked words on the card. And I know without a doubt I’m loved.

Love can carry us through the difficult days. It offers forgiveness and understanding. It accepts us as we are. It spurs us on to do better.

But there are times when love gets buried by the difficulties. We might wonder if it’s still there. Do we love? Are we loved?

Love is always there. It’s sticky. It connects us together. If it appears to fade, it’ll shine brightly again.

Unconditional love won’t let us go.

I shared my worst-ever Mother’s Day story with Jesper and Cecilie Conrad in episode 66 of their Self Directed podcast, Live a Radical Life of Unconditional Love.

Have you listened to the podcast or watched the video?

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Do your kids ever give you love-bouquets of dandelions picked from your garden? And do you have a dog that offers you unconditional love?