When my kids were younger, I constantly had my camera in my hand, watching out for photo opportunities. I wanted visual evidence of all our learning experiences for our homeschool records book. I also wanted lots of photos to go with my blog stories.
We had a rule in our home: we had to check if it was okay to use photos of each other before sharing them online. We all could refuse permission for the publication of images of ourselves.
My kids were very generous. They never got impatient with me when I pointed my camera in their direction, interrupting whatever they were doing. They never objected when I posted their photos here on my blog and social media. We had it all worked out. There weren’t any problems.
But then, one day, one of my kids was teased by her fellow employees when they discovered her photos and vlogs online. (Apparently, it’s standard practice to Google and search social media to find out more about new work acquaintances.) And the teasing made my heart ache.
People have a significant advantage over us when we share our lives publicly. They know lots about us, but we don’t know much, if anything, about them. And they can use the information they gain against us. For example, people might think it’s fun to laugh at our kids. They could stomp over their feelings. They might dent the confidence of those we love best.
So, I’ve been thinking a lot about privacy. In a way, I wish I hadn’t shared my kids’ lives online, even though I know my blog wouldn’t be the same without their stories and photos.
My children, now all adults, still say it’s okay for me to share photos, but I’m uneasy about doing that. Part of me wants to delete my blog full of stories and pictures or make it private. Whenever I voice this option, my daughter, Imogen, generously says, “Don’t delete it, Mum!” knowing how important the blog is to me. But maybe I will remove it from public sight one day because our children have to come first, don’t they?
We can’t use children for our purposes, however good we think our intentions are. I’ve always believed this, frowning upon YouTubers who make big money coaxing their extra-adorable young kids to say extra-cute things. I’ve said, “My blog is different. I have permission to tell my kids’ stories.” I’ve felt superior. But the thing is, does having permission excuse us from the responsibility of doing what’s best for our kids? Do our children, who live in the present, really understand what might happen when they’re older? One day, could they wish they weren’t all over the Internet, visible to people they don’t want to share their stories with?
Of course, there’s another side to being on the Internet. My kids had great fun being part of the public scene. They did real work, making music videos and vlogging. They weren’t afraid to open themselves up to others’ opinions and possible criticism. They didn’t expect everyone to like what they produced. They dealt with any unkindness.
But opening my kids to teasing or worse, because their stories benefit me and my work? That’s something else.
Fortunately for me, even without my kids, I still have plenty of images to add to my posts if I want to keep blogging. AI kindly generates pictures of whatever I request, though the images aren’t always perfect. Sometimes a person has an extra leg, a body becomes welded to the sofa, or faces look alien instead of human. But I can deal with that. That’s part of the fun.
A Big Thank You
A big thank you to my Buy Me a Coffee supporters. A coffee always helps!
This post started life as a quick Instagram caption.
So, What Do You Think?
Are you concerned about your kids’ privacy online? Perhaps you have private social media accounts? If your work is public and involves your kids, do you have any tips for protecting them?
This is such an excellent point that you make! I wasn’t promoting my business when my son was younger but when he was older, I was told by a social media consultant to take photo shoots with my son to seem for family oriented. I always felt weird about that so I had taken a photo and even though I hid his face with a mask (during the pandemic) I had a difficult time putting it up. I took it down after a few months because it bothered me. Something kept nagging at me. People put photos up all the time, so what was my problem? I think my gut was telling me the exact same thing that you are mentioning in this blog. It is about their privacy. I don’t blame you for doing this and it is vey brave of you to come out and mention that you regret it. Thank you 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing your story. There are many people who seem unconcerned about sharing their kids’ photos and stories online, so I appreciate hearing you’ve had similar thoughts to mine. Yes, we should respect our kids’ privacy, though it’s a bit late for me. What do I do with almost 1,000 posts with photos? It’s a problem that’s nagging at the back of my mind.
I’m glad you stopped by. Thank you!