The Problem with High Expectations and Control

1 May 2021

Expecting a lot of our kids sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? If we have high expectations, perhaps our children will strive to achieve more. And if we keep raising the goal posts, won’t they end up doing amazing things? They could have fabulous secure futures that include high paying jobs. If we push our kids, they might become doctors or lawyers or enter another high-status profession.

Or will our ideas and high expectations make our kids very unhappy? Perhaps our children will think that no matter how hard they work, they’ll never satisfy us. And what if they have their own ideas about the type of work they’d like to do?

These are some of the questions that my daughter Imogen and I are discussing in our latest Stories of an Unschooling Family podcast.

In episode 187, we’re talking about:

  • High expectations and control. Do they result in unhappy children? Do controlled kids look for distractions such as video games? Does limiting screen time result in an increased attraction for devices?

Also, we’re chatting about:

  • A novel that Imogen recently reviewed: Dear Hero
  • Inspiration and different ways of telling a story
  • How we can work together, share our skills, and help each other
  • The Catholic Homeschool Conference (I’m a speaker!)
  • News of two soon-to-be-produced unschooling podcasts

Show Notes

Things we mentioned in this episode:

Indistractible by Nir Eyal

Masterchef Australia 2021

Show Your Work by Austin Kleon

Dear Hero by Hope Bolinger and Alyssa Roat

Illuminae Files Book Series by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

The Catholic Homeschool Conference

My Unschooling Books

Curious Unschoolers: Kindle

Curious Unschoolers: paperback

Radical Unschool Love: Kindle

Radical Unschool Love: paperback

My Amazon Author Page

Where You Can Find Me

Unschooling Community

My Stories of an Unschooling Family community

Youtube

Sue Elvis

Blogs

Stories of an Unschooling Family

Where the Carol Birds Sing

Instagram

sue_elvis

Where You Can Find Imogen

Blog

Write.Rewrite.Read

Instagram

write.rewrite.read

Youtube

Imogen Elvis

Books

The Crystal Tree

The Shattering Song

Frost Hands

Photos

I took these photos last week when Imogen and I went to the Apple store in Sydney to get Imogen’s MacBook repaired. Imogen banged out far too many words on her laptop’s keyboard, and it protested and gave up working. The Apple store is amazing. The front walls are made of glass and so are the stairs. And the store is full of technology!

While we were in Sydney, we also visited the Dymocks bookshop where we had coffee in between selecting a few books to bring home.

Imogen and I share our Sydney adventure in episode 187.

We hope you’ll listen to our podcast!

4 Comments Leave a Reply

  1. I love your mini unschooling stories!! I do not often have time to listen to podcasts as I do not have a phone that can do that, but reading these mini stories are such gems in my day. Thank you!!

    • Staci,

      You are the first person to comment on the mini stories! I’m so glad you’re enjoying them. I will post more of them. I have loads of short comments and stories that I could add to some photos. Now I feel encouraged to share them!

      Thank you so much for stopping by. It’s so good to connect with you!

      • Yay! I love your post about your 60th birthday! You are ageing well and balancing on that fine line of experience and adventures yet to be undertaken without despair. Your re-post today about your 2 weddings was lovely to re-read as well, and I liked your 2 new mini stories about generosity and not nagging, but giving love – oh, how they are so related, too! Yes, to show both is really to teach both. As my oldest daughters grow, now 16 and 14, they are more apt to give of themselves without expecting something in return, even recognition for those good deeds. How wonderful to see that bloom in our children! God bless you, Sue!

        • Staci,

          I love your image of balancing on the fine line between experience and further adventures! And I love how you’re reading my mini-stories and commenting on them. Thank you!

          There’s something that probably all my subscribers don’t love: yesterday’s unending flood of new blog post email notifications! Staci, I’m so sorry I filled your inbox with all those emails. I got rather alarmed when I saw them appearing, but I couldn’t find a way to stop them. Earlier, I’d imported all my blog posts from the Where the Carol Birds Sing blog into my unschooling one. I didn’t realise that the posts would be regarded as newly published content.

          I was hoping to spend more time on my Carol Birds blog. I really wanted to concentrate on that blog instead of this one. But I keep getting drawn back to unschooling. Because it’s too difficult to keep two blogs running, I have decided to combine my blogs which won’t suit everyone, but it will make my life easier! Maybe I’ll return to my writing blog further down the track. It can wait for me!

          Hopefully, the flood of blog emails is over. And, hopefully, I didn’t lose all my subscribers because of them! Thank you for your kind comment.

          May God bless you!

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