The Problem With Being Too Nice

26 March 2020

Are you too nice? I am.

I want to help everyone. Support and encouragement are my middle names. Send me an email and I’ll spend hours answering it. Write me a comment and I’ll always reply. Ask for some mentoring and I’ll do my best even though you tell me you can’t pay.

I write a book. And another. Then I decide I need to offer something extra. How about a book club?

I pay for blog and podcast hosting and software and loads of other things so I can continue offering unschooling help.

And then one day, I stop. I become sensible instead of nice.  I decide I need some way to support what I do. I can’t offer everything for free.

Then I forget about being sensible. I create a membership site because I want to help people turn the ideas I write about into something real in their lives. There’s a fee for the membership site, but maybe my book sales can cover the cost. So I decide that anyone who has purchased both of my books can join my community. Then I think: no, that’s too much to ask. Members only have to buy one book. And then after a couple of weeks, I say, don’t worry about buying my books. Anyone can join. I’ll pay the membership site hosting fee myself. It’ll be worth it. I’ll be able to help and support everyone in a more personal way if we have a private place to gather.

Blog commenters stop by and I answer their questions and then they disappear. And I shrug and I say, that’s the nature of blogging.

I write long emails with mentoring help and don’t receive any replies or thanks. And I tell myself that I don’t do this for thanks.

People stop visiting my book club and I tell myself it’s my fault: it was a silly idea.

People ask to join my community and I send them an invitation and some don’t take the time to accept. Did they change their minds? Too busy? Is the membership site just one more thing among many. Not that important.

I welcome members to my site and invite them to contribute and a few beautiful people do but a lot don’t. Not one word.

And I think: what am I doing? Perhaps I’m offering something that no one requires. I’m like a free Kindle book. Good to gather. Never read. Something that’s not needed. But, hey, it was free. Put it on the shelf. One day, it might come in handy. Or not.

But I keep going because of a few kind and encouraging and loving friends. It’s not about numbers, is it?

And then one day, I realise that after supporting unschoolers for year after year after year, I’ve had enough. Being too nice has taken its toll. I no longer want to persuade people to read my blog, listen to my podcast, join my community, buy my books.

I have reached rock bottom.

Right now, I have nothing left to give. I can’t support anyone through this current crisis. I’m not surviving myself.

I want to run away which isn’t possible because we’re supposed to stay at home. But I can turn off the Internet. Disappear. Stop being too nice. Because you know what? Everyone will do fine without me. I don’t need to do this.

What I need to do is think about my own family. I have kids who’ve lost their jobs, and a husband who can’t stay home like most of the world because he has to go to school. And me? I’m tired of fighting the shopping hoarders for groceries. I’m fed up of always arriving in the toilet roll aisle a few minutes too late.

My nice side is trying to speak. It wants to say, Sue, remember you’re healthy. So is your family. Today, you didn’t get any toilet paper, but you managed to buy a few rolls of paper towels. The girls have lost their jobs, but Andy has secure work even if it’s stressful at the moment. There are people much worse off than you.

That’s the trouble with being too nice: I can’t be honest about how I’m feeling. I should be able to deal with everything. Keep going. Smile and pretend nothing’s wrong. Because what will people say if they discover I’m not as nice as I try to make out?

Of course, no one need know I’m upset, discouraged, tired, fed up of giving when I often receive no thanks, being a free Kindle book, in need of support myself. I could delete this post. Don’t post it. Don’t ruin your reputation says too nice Sue. You’re solid, strong, dependable, calm in the face of a crisis, accepting, gentle, giving.

No, I’m not. I’m too nice. And that’s not good for me and my family.

I’m not superwoman. Actually, I’m rather ordinary. Today I’m empty.

I’m going to hide in my room and have a cry,


Something Extra

After I wrote this post, I made a podcast version which includes some extras. In episode 171, I’m also talking about the A-Z blogging challenge and sharing an old challenge story called You Come to Visit.

A big thank you to everyone who left me a kind comment. Your love, prayers and encouragement made a huge difference!

38 Comments Leave a Reply

  1. Don’t quit sue – you’re the blog I turn to in the evening to give me a sense of calm and peace after the tough days. As a good priest used to tell me- tomorrow is another day

    • Victoria,

      Your priest is right. I had a bad day, but I’ve picked myself back up. All the beautiful comments helped enormously. Thank you so much for encouraging me to keep going!

  2. Sue, I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling fed up. You give so much, so generously, and it must feel very thankless sometimes.

    But I don’t think you will ruin your reputation with a post like this. On the contrary, you are showing your humanity and – as always – being a fine role model for us all.

    I’ve always been in awe of the time you take to respond to your online friends (plus of course the hundreds of hours you put into writing and podcasting).

    When my life changed dramatically in 2017, I’m sorry to admit I rather fell off the face blogging world. Since then, I’ve had many emails and comments which I just didn’t feel able to reply to.

    Now my life is more settled, I’m gradually picking things up. I was talking with a friend the other day about how guilty I feel about not having replied to those people who took the time to get in touch, and my wise friend said, ‘You just haven’t replied *yet*. If you do choose to reply in the future, you can explain that you were practising what you preach – self-care and looking after your loved ones first.’

    I didn’t expect to ever write on my homeschooling blog again (despite my best intentions about wanting to let people know how things turned out, as it were), but this week so many people asked me about our experiences that I was inspired to publish a new post, a sort of roadmap of my blog.

    As I compiled the post, I so enjoyed looking back over our happy memories. I was often reminded, as I did, of the extraordinary contribution you and your family made to us. And I have no doubt that you’ve made a similar contribution to thousands of others around the world, in ways that you may never even imagine.

    Sue, even if you never publish another blog post, book, or podcast again, if you never reply to another email or comment (please don’t feel obliged to reply to this one 😉 ), you will have made more of a contribution to the world than most people do in a lifetime.

    On behalf of us all, thank you. We love you.

    • Lucinda!

      It was so good to see your comment. I needed a friend and you stopped by. Thank you!

      Yes, there are times in our lives when we have to focus inwards. Self-care and looking after your loved ones first… wise words. I’m so glad life has settled down for you. It was good to read your blog post. Hopping over to your blog felt like the old days! We’ve shared a lot over the years, haven’t we?

      Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words and friendship!

  3. Sue, I am one of those who has erratically commented on your posts, and started the book club and was very interested but just couldn’t keep up. I’m sad to hear how my action/inaction (and that of others) has contributed to your feeling this way. The truth is, this posts tells me that you’re a lot like me – busy as can be with my family, wanting to do so much but feeling like there just aren’t enough hours in the day, and ultimately having to prioritize what/who is here in my own household and family and leave behind what is remote/online (at least for a time).

    You should know that YOU are the reason we unschool. We have six children, ages 3 to 17 (one with autism) and I found you when our homeschooling was a stressful, peace-destroying thing in our family. I began reading your blog posts and listening to your podcast. Your gentle voice, loving demeanor and sensible way of living your life and educating your children deeply resonated with me. I fell in love with “Trust, respect, and love unconditionally.” I began to realize that these years with my children are about relationships that are based on love, not times tables, or history reports, or ACT scores. YOU helped me realize that I was wasting precious time. YOU helped me to be a much more calm and loving mother, and brought peace into our home. My husband thinks you are a hero because of how much our home life has improved as a result!

    Thank you for all that have done for me and my family. You have given so much, planted so many seeds, and often don’t see/hear about the growth the is a result. Our family is just one of many, I’m sure. I will add you to our intentions for our daily family rosary, that you will find peace and discern the best way forward for you and your family. For now, you are right to take care of yourself and those closest to you. Sending love and prayers from Mississippi, USA.

    • Jan,

      Your words have touched my heart deeply. Thank you!

      The book club is unimportant. Life does get busy and we have to prioritise. I do understand. I think the main thing that was running through my mind as I was writing this post was this: am I spending my time doing things that aren’t needed? It’s hard to know when I receive little feedback. Blogging etc can sometimes feel like a lonely thing to do. But I’d hate it if people supported my blog and other ideas just to keep me happy. It’s complicated! Anyway, today, I’m feeling much better.

      Thank you so much for your prayers. They mean a lot to me. I will pray for you too. xx

  4. I forgot to mention that my 17 year old daughter, who aspires to be a writer, absolutely devoured both of Imogen’s books! She frequents Imogen’s website and loves to read her blog posts, particularly her writing tips and book/music recommendations. Imogen is an amazing role model for my daughter, who struggles in this world to find other young Catholic women like herself. So both you and your daughter have made your way into our hearts and lives. 🙂

  5. Ah Sue, commiserating here. It’s a tough time, trying all our inner reserves. Mine were tapped to begin with, so it’s hard. My honey is working as well, out of state at that. I miss him… One of the kids works at our local grocers where they have police on hand. Sigh. Being home is actually a reprieve right now. I’ve been so busy out of our home that I’ve lost touch with some of the things that bring me joy – checking in with you among them.

    • Dear Beate,

      Thank you so much for checking in with me. If only we could sit around the kitchen table with our coffee and chat! At least we have the Internet to keep us connected. It is so important during this difficult time, isn’t it? I am sorry to hear your husband is interstate. I hope he can come home soon. We’ve also seen police patrolling our grocery shops. I no longer like going shopping. People are avoiding each other. Every day there are new restrictions. It’s a relief to get home.

      Sending love to you and your family. Stay safe!

  6. Hi Sue!
    I’ve been following your blog for years (learned about you through Suzie Andres books); but I keep a very low profile online. I just want you to know that knowing you are there (in Australia) has made a huge difference on my unschooling journey. That being said, I’d be happy to become more active on your site and bookclub! I excited to read your books–I already know that I’m going to love them 100%!

    I send you a comforting hug; we all need each other especially during these anxious times. You have had lots to deal with this year, with the fires. I live in Minnesota; and while your country was burning, we were locked in cold winter–but that is our normal!
    It reminds me of the poet Robert Frost’s line, “Some say the world will end in fire, some in ice…” ?

    I hope your “cry” helped ease your heart’s burden. I am praying for you and your family.

    Amy

    • Amy,

      I’m so glad you left a comment. It’s good to meet you! Your hug helped. And all your kind words. Thank you! Oh yes, we need each other. Life is tough at the moment.

      I’d love to exchange comments with you, every now and then, here on my blog. And I appreciate you wanting to get more involved in the book club. However, I’m wondering if I should retire the book club now that I’ve created the membership site. We can discuss books within the community. That might work out better. Would you like to join us in our unschooling community? I would love to see you there.

      https://stories-of-an-unschooling-family.mn.co/

      Amy, thank you very much for your prayers. I shall pray for you and your family too. Take care and keep safe!

  7. I don’t have any answers. This is such a trying time for so many people. I will say this though. Whatever you do, please don’t delete your website out of pain or frustration. I’ve known too many women who are wired like us who have done so and regretted it. Not for the sake of the readers, but for your sake. Please don’t delete it when you are feeling low.

    And there is nothing wrong with being honest about what you are experiencing and feeling. If someone is upset with you for what you wrote here, that’s their problem. You don’t owe anyone online anything. Your priority is your family and your own well-being.

    Hugs,
    Sallie

    • And to go with what Amy in Minnesota said in the comment prior to mine… You have been through A LOT in the past several months with the fires and now the pandemic. For people who are happiest with orderly and productive lives, all of this upheaval is really difficult mentally and emotionally. I’d actually be surprised if you weren’t struggling given how much you’ve had to deal with. Please be patient with yourself and give yourself time to heal and adjust.

      Sallie

    • Sallie,

      Oh yes, there are times when we want to delete everything and run away. I’ve done that before. And I’ve regretted it. A few years ago, I deleted my blog thinking I had 14 days to change my mind. When I was feeling better, I tried to activate my blog again, but it wouldn’t appear at the correct address. It took me a very long time to work things out and get my blog back. I decided I’d never do that again!

      We make poor decisions when we’re having a hard time, don’t we? But things usually get better. We just need a break. Kind comments from friends help enormously! I was surprised to see everyone’s comments. I thought I’d turned the comments off. It seems I didn’t!

      Sometimes I feel I should be able to cope with anything and everything. I’m not always patient with myself. You’re right: we’ve had a tough year. Lots to deal with. This time, we are united across the world by the crisis. I do hope you’re okay. Take care and keep safe.

      Thank you so much for the hugs and for stopping by!

  8. Oh Sue! I am so glad you posted this… First I must sincerely apologize! I am so sorry Sue for being such a fly on the wall. I have read every post on this blog, I have read (and loved) both of your books, joined both of your book communities, listen to your podcast, watch your YouTube videos and follow every post on Instagram… But I never leave comments or contribute in any way. For that I am deeply sorry because I should have reached out to you by now to let you know how much your work in spreading the word of Unschooling and your life has meant to me. Or at least that I was there and care so much about what you have to say. Out of all the voices in the Unschooling community, yours is the one that I find most helpful and most valuable. I know that you have said in the past that maybe since almost all of your children are grown, your voice isn’t needed, but that is exactly why it is needed so much! You have seen the final outcome. You are one of the rare people who have actually walked the entire path of Unschooling! I know that life is so stressful right now with the fires and now the virus, it would only make sense that you need a break to focus on your family… But please don’t ever think that your voice is not wanted or needed or incredibly valuable in the world of Unschooling, it so desperately is! I hate that you aren’t being paid or getting the exposure you deserve for all the work that you do… I hope that there can be a way for that to happen because you do truly deserve it! Now I am going to jump over to the wonderful little community you have set up and try not to be a fly on the wall anymore! Again, thank you for everything! Sending all my hugs!

    Kelly

    • Kelly,

      Please don’t apologise. I offer my work freely without any conditions. That’s just the way blogging and podcasting work. And usually that’s okay. But right now, I’m so glad you stopped by. It is so very good to hear from you. Receiving feedback is helpful, but even better is being able to connect with you. Making friends with readers is a huge delight.

      Maybe people who try and support others need their own support team. We all need someone to cheer us on when we feel tired and overwhelmed, don’t we? Thank you for being part of my team. Your kind words have touched me deeply. Are they really about me?!

      Thank you for the hugs. Looking forward to chatting with you more inside my community!

  9. I’m reading Curious Unschoolers right now, and I’ve already read Radical Unschool Love. Both have given me a lot of encouragement, especially as we don’t know of any local unschoolers. And your community has been encouraging as well! I admit I’m one of those who hasn’t been responding to your posts lately. But I’m rather shy in general, so if I don’t see others posting, I tend to pull back. That’s not a reflection on you or the wonderful community you built. If you choose to continue it, I’m going to try to be braver, because your community really is something worthwhile. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us.

    • Hi Sue! I’m currently listening to your most recent podcast (I’m always a bit behind!). How generous of you to share your book for free a few days ago! Wow! While listening I hopped over to Instagram to see what you are up to as I realized I hadn’t seen anything on my feed lately. When I saw your account was gone, I quickly went to your blog- I hoped you were all ok! I was moved to tears reading this post. I’m so sorry! I know I was one who requested membership and then didn’t signup. I promise it was not because I didn’t think it would be worthwhile- I’m just so bad about accomplishing much lately. Between the stress of prepping for the seemingly inevitable arrival of the coronavirus here, helping my daughter with her (now cancelled) trip to Korea, and dealing with Lydia’s worsening epilepsy (especially when the hospital is the last place I want her to be!) I’ve been a mess. I feel awful that I’ve added to your pain and made you feel taken advantage of.

      I’m so sorry to hear your girls have lost their jobs! My oldest kids are not sure if they will have jobs to return to after this has passed here. All of this uncertainty is so unsettling!

      Your family has been through so much with the bushfires and now this pandemic. You will all be in my prayers. I hope you find some toilet paper soon too!

      I will continue to share your books & podcasts. Your peaceful voice is always a comfort- especially now!

      I hope this message properly conveys just a bit of how I feel- I’ve been trying to find the right words all day!

      • Sarah!

        I am so glad you came looking for me. Thank you! I’d been considering deleting my Instagram account for a while. I find social media both overwhelming and frustrating. When I created my membership site, I decided the day to hit the delete button had arrived. I can’t keep up with everything and I’d like to concentrate on my site rather than social media. I considered writing a goodbye post, but my reach was so small, I thought no one would see it. Anyway, it is so good to see you here!

        Sarah, you are so very generous. You have a lot of things of your own to cope with, and you still made time to care about me and write your beautiful comment. Thank you. Your words are perfect. You are a good friend. I appreciate your prayers very much. I am keeping you and your family in mine. I am missing one thing about Instagram: seeing your photos of your family. They always made me smile. I’ve been watching Lydia and your other children grow up. I guess we’ve now been friends for a long time!

        If you’d still like to join us in the community, please do. If it’s not a good time right now, hang onto the link and join us later.

        https://stories-of-an-unschooling-family.mn.co/

        Sending love to you and your family. May God bless you!

        • Sue,

          I was so happy to read your comment! I don’t blame you for deleting social media- it’s a lot! Of course you will be missed, but I completely understand. I have made sure I’m subscribed to your blog and requested to join the group so I don’t miss anything.

          Several months ago you mentioned me (at least, I think it was me! If it was a different Sarah, I’m still pretending it was me haha!) in a podcast and it made me so happy. I replayed it 3 times. I heard it while the bush fires were especially bad, just before Christmas and I never said how much your shout out meant to me, as I felt like you were dealing with so much and I didn’t want to bother you. So, thank you Sue! I’m so happy to have a friend like you!

          I hope you have found toilet paper by now! Why are people hoarding toilet paper anyway? It’s the same way here!

          I hope you and your family are staying safe and healthy!

          • Sarah,

            I’m so glad we’re still connected despite me having left social media. Thank you for subscribing to my blog and joining my community. I smiled when I saw your application!

            Oh yes, you are my friend Sarah that I mentioned. So glad you heard your name! I will never forget your support and prayers during our bushfires. On the day when the backburn fire raced out of control, and we were preparing to defend our home, you told me in a message that you were praying very hard for us. Those words touched my heart. Such depth of feeling. Now whenever someone asks me to pray for them, your words pop into my head, and I think, “I’m going to pray VERY hard just like Sarah!”

            I’m grateful for your friendship too! I’m keeping you and your family in my prayers. Keep safe!

            PS: I haven’t seen any toilet paper for weeks. We’re researching alternatives!

    • Renée,

      I understand about keeping quiet. When I was on Instagram, there were times when I didn’t want to reveal my presence online. I found it hard to hit the ‘like’ button, even harder to comment. There were days when I read quietly or I didn’t even visit. I wonder if this had anything to do with my introverted nature. Some days I felt chatty. But there were times when I almost felt sick at the thought of diving into the noise of social media.

      I have really enjoyed reading your community comments over the past few days. I do appreciate your involvement. I will smile every time I see something from you, but please take some quiet time out when you need to. I don’t want anyone to feel burdened by the community.

      Thank you so much for stopping by to encourage me!

  10. Sue, I really appreciate your candidness about your feelings right now. As others have said, it is already a very trying time and this one is on top of another very trying time for you Australians.

    And I think many people can likely relate to struggling to find the line between being kind and being taken advantage of – I certainly can in many, many respects. It seems that line can be paper thin and sometimes we don’t realize we’ve yet again overextended until the next day and then it might be just one over-extension too many. My husband could fix (and often seems to!) everyone’s computer for free, I could provide counselling “informally” for a load of people (and seem to!), my brother-in-law could fix everyone’s car for free (he doesn’t – he has awesome boundaries), but skills, time, materials and experience have to be seen to have some worth at some point. (We can always use our discretion in individual cases where the burden of someone’s ability to pay may be more than the burden of us offering the item or service).

    I am so appreciative of your blog, podcast, books and community (yay!) but respect that we all need to find our line or at least our line for the particular moment or season. My feeling has always been that high quality mentoring/coaching and communities are deserving of payment of some kind, be it book purchases or monetary, and your offerings, Sue, are high quality.

    Love your wisdom in having a good cry and hoping that may have a led to a good nap! Blessings:).

    • Erin,

      Thank you for your understanding. Maybe by being honest about our feelings, other people are encouraged to accept and share theirs. None of us has to pretend we’re coping perfectly.

      I’ve thought a lot about being ‘too nice’. Yes, we all need to have our boundaries. Although we’d like to keep giving and giving, it’s not good for us. I got myself into a difficult position by not recognising this. Perhaps we also have to be aware of our self-worth. We shouldn’t be afraid to say no or ask for payment or whatever we need. We’re doing something valuable. It sounds like your brother-in-law understands this perfectly!

      Erin, thank you for the reassurance that what I’m doing is important. And thank you for being part of my community. I appreciate you sharing your own wisdom and experience!

  11. Sue, thank you for sharing so openly and bravely. I can relate so well, I also have a problem with being too nice from time to time. It is hard to know, when and where to mark your border. But it is healthy, healthy for you and for your family.
    I love and appreciate your blogs for many years now and have learned a lot. Especially about love. Thank you so much. Seeing photos of your family, your closeness and how you all naturally enjoy each other through all these years, good times and hard times –
    that gives me such hope and trust, that my family might also be able to build strong happy family bonds that last.

    We are not unschooling, but I enjoy your posts very much and love learning from you and getting challenged by your words.

    After reading your post, I also thought about hard times you had with fires and all that – you made it through, but full recovery is still needed. I also feel somehow lost last weeks, although I “should” be able to deal better with this crisis, we still have everything we need and we like being together at home. But still, it is hard to find new normal and I know, that it is not only about this crisis now, it is also about months before that were hard for me.

    Be gentle with yourself. And give yourself time and boundaries, that you need.

    It is so easy to take a great blog for granted and to think that a comment is not important, I`m sorry for that. I don`t know how it feels to make yourself visible and present, and at the same time you cannot see our faces when we read and think about your words, you cannot see how we smile more with our children and take them with us for little sweet adventures, you cannot see hope that grows inside us with your words and all the beautiful changes.

    I appreciate your presence here very much, but I also appreciate when you take good care of yourself. Be as gentle with yourself, as you are with your beautiful children and with us readers.

    Also – I love to reread and revisit your old posts. I think it is always great idea, when you dig out an old post – you could do it much more often!

    By the way, are your old blog posts from sueelviswrites somewhere accessible?

    I`m sending you a big hug!!!

    • Luana,

      I’m so sorry that you’ve also had a difficult start to the year. Yes, it’s hard to deal with a new crisis before we’ve recovered from the first. It sounds like it’s been a long time since life felt normal for you as well as us. You are right: we need to be gentle with ourselves. It’s okay to admit we’re finding it hard to cope. We should take the time we need.

      I appreciate your kind words about my blog very much. Thank you. Blogging has its good side. We can all write and share whatever we have to offer with the world. But that opportunity can come with a price. Sometimes I feel exposed. I reveal myself, but readers can keep silent. It’s very one-sided. But it’s not all bad. I’ve made some wonderful friends while blogging!

      Luana, we are friends. There is no need for apologies. We connect now and then and that’s wonderful. An email from you is a huge delight.

      At the moment, this is my one and only blog. My old blogs are no longer available online. But I have a new idea that I’ve been pondering. A few years ago, I created a blog, but there aren’t any posts on it. I haven’t known what to do with the blog, or even if I need it. But I now have an idea! I’ve been writing some A-Z stories for my community. They are stories of my life rather than unschooling ones. I might post them on my new blog and then keep writing there. So I might have a new blog very soon!

      Thank you so much for your hug. I’m sending love and hugs back to you. Take care!

  12. Hey sue, we have reasons for popping out even though we love you! I personally had such a tiring pregnancy I couldn’t respond more than a sentence to anyone (but baby is here and happy!), plus many of us have trouble being social online, so we put out a question which is hard, but to respond to the answer feels too much. I want you to know you are so respected, Sooo wanted, So helpful and we are all so grateful. Just like they say you should never read the replies, also try to not notice the lack of replies. Online isn’t like the real world, it’s more hidden, so people who deserve the compliments may never get them sadly. I hope you keep powering on during this pandemic, it’s such a stressful Unusual time! I hope everyone stays safe and healthy

    • Hi Nikki,

      Congratulations! I’m very happy to hear your baby news. I hope you’re doing well despite the current crisis. Stay safe!

      You are right: it’s hard to know what’s going on in other people’s lives. That’s why I try to be understanding. I know what it feels like when life is tiring and we have too much to do. Often that’s how I feel when I am answering readers’ questions. I have long lists of emails and comments to work my way through and not much free time. But I always try to give each one my full attention. When people read my emails, it would only take 10 seconds to immediately hit ‘reply’ and write Thanks, Sue! (Gmail has suggested replies that only need a click to use!) Something small, maybe not essential, but it would tell me that what I’m doing is helpful.

      I appreciate your kind words. Thank you for taking the time to write them. It’s so good to chat!

        • Brett,

          Thank you for your kind words. In recent days, I’ve been writing a lot more. It helps me to reflect and make sense of this strange time.

          You have a beautiful blog. I was pleased to discover it. Thank you so much for stopping by!

  13. Sue,

    Thank you for pressing ‘publish’ and being brave. I am so sorry that you have felt lonely and unappreciated. You so ARE and I am so sorry if I have contributed to that. I am so, so thankful for our conversations, especially when I was feeling emotional and confused. It is so comforting to have someone I trust to share, even if we have never met.

    Blogging can be so lonely, yet sometimes I think it is possible that the Lord doesn’t show what kind of impact we have on others, so that we keep relying on Him and seeking His wisdom for our writing. But, you have enormous impact and your posts are everywhere. You are the gentle light in the unschooling world.

    Thank you, thank you and I sincerely apologise if I have contributed to your hurt. I am so sorry.

    Bless you in this lockdown time, and I pray that the girls would get jobs again once it lifts.

    Sarah xx

    • By the way, I meant that you so ARE appreciated (not lonely and unappreciated!). I just read that sentence and it sounded not what I meant it to!!!

    • Sarah,

      There is no need to apologise though I do appreciate your kind words.

      Yes, blogging can be lonely and, sometimes, it can seem like we are speaking to ourselves. But friends appear just when we need some encouragement, don’t they? I will remember your words whenever I’m feeling down. Thank you so much.

      Thank you also for your prayers. May God bless you and your family especially at Easter! xxx

  14. As I read this it so resonated with my heart and what I am feeling. I have not read much of your blog yet, but I plan to. Thank you for all that you do, and for creating a space where we can come to learn.?

    • Barbara,

      I wrote this post when I was feeling very tired and discouraged. It’s sometimes hard to share our low moments, isn’t it? But when we do admit we’re not coping, friends usually appear to give us the help and love we need. Thank you so much for stopping by with your kind words. I hope you enjoy reading my blog and find something helpful amongst my posts!

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