If we give kids unlimited access to screens and the Internet, will they all learn to self-regulate their usage? Perhaps all we need to do is let go of control and trust. Maybe allow a bit of time for kids to get used to the fact that the screens won’t be taken away and they don’t have to fit as much computer time into their days as possible. It’s that simple. Or maybe it’s not.
Could some children have problems? Will they need our help as they learn to manage their screen time in a way that’s beneficial to them?
If screen time is getting in the way of a child’s health and happiness, how do we help her? Do we make rules limiting her time on the computer? Or do rules not work? Rules set us up for battles. Kids also don’t learn anything from them except that parents are in charge and they’re not. I guess they might also learn how to break the rules.
So is there a better way to help kids rather than limiting their screen time? Because what we really want is for children to understand themselves and their needs and work out their own ways of dealing with screens, ways that allow them to do what is important to them without compromising their happiness and health. Maybe some adults (like me) need to learn how to do this too.
I’m talking about screen time in this week’s podcast, episode 136: The Complicated Issue of Unlimited Screen Time.
I’m sharing my story, Is It Really Okay to Let Unschooling Kids Have Unlimited Access to Screens and the Internet?
And I’m discussing the questions:
- Will all kids learn to self-regulate their screen usage?
- Do adults have trouble self-regulating?
- Should we respect our kids’ choices?
- Why do we fear letting go of control?
- What is sensible screen behaviour?
- Is the Internet really addictive?
- Is making screen rules a responsible thing to do?
- Or is there a better way to help kids self-regulate their usage?
- Do we have to do more than just step back and give our kids complete freedom to do what they want?
Show Notes
Blog Posts
Is It Really Okay to Let Unschooling Kids Have Unlimited Access to Screens and the Internet?
My Unschool Unplanning Strewing Notebook
Podcast
Episode 105, Social Media, Internet Addiction, and Screen Time
Youtube
Photo: This is my daughter Gemma-Rose. I took this photo more than a year ago while we were filming one of Imogen’s music videos, Into the West. As you can see, Gemma-Rose has two screens (smartphones) in her hands, but she’s not using them to access the Internet or make phone calls. Imogen’s music is on one phone and Gemma-Rose is using the other one to take photos.
I’m using an old photo for this post because I couldn’t find a more recent one that includes some kind of technology. Even though my family spends a lot of time using computers, I could only find photos of my girls doing other things: picnicking, running, wandering through the bush taking photos, painting our house… I guess that illustrates the fact that unschoolers who have unlimited access to screens and who do spend a lot of time on their computers, can also enjoy spending time with their families, exercising and experiencing the beautiful outdoors!
Thank you for listening to this episode. If you enjoy my podcast, please consider sharing the link so we can spread the word about unschooling. A quick review or rating on Apple Podcasts, or another podcast app, would help too!
Please feel welcome to stop by and say hello or leave a comment about anything I talked about in this episode!
I’d love to hear about your unlimited screen time experiences. Do you have any concerns? How do you help your kids regulate their screen and Internet usage? Or perhaps screen time has been a simple issue for your kids just like mine. And do you ever have trouble (like me) managing your own time online?
Hi Sue,
As the mother of two teenage boys, I have to say that screen use has been a major obstacle in every aspect of their lives. I don’t know if it’s worse for boys, if they are more prone to becoming addicted than girls? I believe the introduction of iPads at the school they were attending is the main reason they began to refuse to go to school and everything started to revolve around screen use. There were many attempts to control the time spent on screens, many attempts to do so without battles and ultimately with them. All failed. We now home school (I guess unschool our boys) with mixed results. Interestingly, some of the top private schools in Sydney are moving away from technology and going back to using text book because of the problems students are having with addiction to technology. Many adults have these problems so I guess it’s only natural that children do too. Thanks for your insights. I always enjoy reading your blog and thinking about my personal family situation with fresh eyes. You do give me hope that an alternate path is possible. Your children are all so accomplished and interesting.
Bernadette
Bernadette,
The issue of computer screen time is very complicated, isn’t it? Computers and the Internet have opened up so many possibilities. They’re good. We want to use them. But so many of us can’t always deal with them without us getting ourselves into trouble.
I’m interested to hear about how some Sydney schools are moving away from screens and returning to books. I hadn’t heard about that. I might do some googling to find out more!
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your family’s story. And thank you for your feedback about my blog and children. I appreciate your kind words!
Sue, I really liked this podcast. It is very relevant to me and an issue we have not completely come to a resolution about. But I liked what you had to say. Your words allowed me to realize that maybe a lot of problems I see with screen time are actually manifestations of other problems that I am trying to fix by controlling screen time. For example, I don’t need to let the kids fight over screens or take them away. That’s a sharing issue. We need to have consideration about using the main tv because in our small home the sound carries and distracts others. Maybe I could have better communication with my teen so I don’t feel so uncomfortable about the amount of time she wants to spend in her room watching videos. But what about Sophia. My three year old loves Sophia and would spend hours watching Sophia. Or maybe she wouldn’t. I feel inspired by you again. That’s what I love about your blog Sue and your podcasts. I don’t mind listening to the same story over again. There’s always a new perspective or new inspiration to be had!
Venisa,
Oh yes, sometimes we think the problem is about computers or the TV when it’s actually about something completely different. When we work out what’s really wrong, unlimited access to screens might work after all.
I haven’t heard about Sophia. I guess it’s a very good kids’ TV problem. There are some enjoyable shows on TV, aren’t there? I used to like watching Peppa Pig occasionally (even though I’m not a child!) And Shaun the Sheep. “My three year old loves Sophia and would spend hours watching Sophia. Or maybe she wouldn’t.” Perhaps you’ve thought of some things that would tempt her away from the screen?!
Most kids prefer people to things. I remember how my kids would watch a couple of TV shows together each afternoon. And then one day, they didn’t turn up at the right time. They decided that they’d rather continue the games they were playing together outside rather than come in and watch TV.
Thank you for listening to my podcast. I’m glad you enjoyed this episode!