Taking Risks, Looking Strange

I have another eyebrow story! Do you remember the last one? Ordinary Frida Kahlo Eyebrow Days was an embarrassing tale about two giant, hairy, black caterpillar brows and a policeman who appeared unexpectedly on my front doorstep.

A few days ago, when I arrived at my weekly parish women’s group meeting, I greeted my friend Anabelle, and the first thing she said was: “What do you do to your eyebrows?”

My brows? Oh no, did they look bad? I gulped before saying, “I usually dye them, but when the dye begins to fade, I use a brow mascara to darken them. But today, I tried a brow gel.”

When I applied the thick dark brown gel that morning, I wasn’t sure I was happy with the effect. Perhaps my brows were too bold? Had the gel turned them into Frida Kahlo ones? I’d stood before the mirror, wondering if I should wash off the gel. In the end, I decided to leave it. But after Anabelle’s question, I suddenly wished I’d left my eyebrows naked.

“Your eyebrows look fantastic!” Anabelle smiled.

“They do?” I grinned.

You know what? That compliment made my day.

So, what’s the point of this story?

We shouldn’t be afraid of complimenting each other. Our words indicate we look carefully at people. We take an interest. Compliments spread joy. They make people smile.

And we shouldn’t be afraid of taking risks: doing something different and trying new things. People might look at us strangely, but then again, they might not. They might think what we’re doing is great.

It’s strange how many of us tend to stick to the same way of doing things, isn’t it? We want to blend in, stay under the radar and not stick out. Unschooling can be a bit that way. When my kids were growing up, we didn’t know any other unschoolers, so we tried to blend in with everyone else so we felt accepted. And we did okay until people engaged us in conversation. Then, our differences appeared. It became apparent we weren’t like everyone else. We were strange!

Maybe you’re strange, too. Perhaps you experiment with your eyebrows. Or take other risks.

Perhaps you haven’t yet dived into unschooling because it feels risky. I encourage you to do it anyway. You might find, like my eyebrows, that everything is okay!

Wild on the Inside

Here’s a little fun story from deep within my archive about how we can look ordinary on the outside but be wild within.

Wild on the Inside

“Do you think we look like unschoolers?” I ask.

“What do unschoolers look like?” asks my daughter Imogen.

“Aren’t they supposed to look rather wild? Or at least different? Unconventional?”

“Well, we don’t look wild.”

“No, we’re rather ordinary looking,” I agree. “No one gives us a second look as we walk down the street.

“And you can’t tell we’re unschoolers by looking at our home.”

Read More

www.storiesofanunschoolingfamily.com

Reduce Unschooling Fears

Does unschooling feel risky? Are you too afraid to adopt this way of life? If you are, you could do this challenge from my book, The Unschool Challenge.

The Challenge

1. Make a list of all your fears. Here are some common ones:

If we don’t make our kids do things, they’ll become lazy.

If we don’t force them to do difficult things while growing up, they’ll flounder when they set out into the bigger world where life doesn’t revolve around them.

Unschooling won’t prepare kids for their future lives. Unschoolers might not get into university. They could end up not being able to find secure jobs. It’s better to make kids learn things they might not be interested in so all bases are covered.

If our kids are free to play video games for as long as they like, they’ll become addicted.
Our kids won’t learn how to behave if we instantly forgive them for their failings, so punishments are necessary.

2. Think about the things your kids might miss out on if you choose not to unschool.

Will your kids fail to learn to be responsible for their lives and education?

Will they rely on you to motivate them to learn or do what is right?

Perhaps they won’t have opportunities to use their talents.

If they pursue safe and secure careers rather than following their passions, will they be happy?

They may learn because this is what is expected rather than because they love learning.

Will they learn to fear and not trust themselves?

Could they cling to what they have if they never experience abundance? Will they not be inclined to be generous with their time and possessions?

3. Find out more about unschooling. Our fears disappear when we gain a deeper understanding of its principles. You could read Curious Unschoolers and Radical Unschool Love!

4. Find a community of friendly, accepting and non- judgemental unschoolers who will answer your questions, address your concerns, share their experiences and encourage and support you.

5.  Observe your kids. Talk with them and listen carefully. That’s the best way to find out what they need!

6. You can do all the other challenges in The Unschool Challenge!

7. If your fears still won’t subside, think about these questions:

• What is the right way to live?
• What values are important to you?
• Do you believe kids deserve to be loved unconditionally?
• Should we accept them for who they are?
• Are our kids entitled to respect and kindness?

When you’ve decided on the values that you want to make the foundation of your family’s life, think about this question:

Does unschooling match up with your values? Should you do it regardless of your fears? Is unschooling the right way for your family to live?

Related Reading

How to Deal with Criticism and Our Fears: Curious Unschoolers
When Unschooling Doesn’t Seem to Be Working: Radical Unschool Love
Fearing Our Kids Will Fail: Curious Unschoolers

Will You Help?

Do you find my blog helpful? Will you consider supporting it with a coffee or small donation?

Thank you, Jaq, for your coffees!

So, What Do You Think?

Do you like to keep under the radar or do you enjoy standing out? Are you wild inside? And have you ever tried eyebrow gel?