freedom to choose

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Reluctant to Persuade or Engage

I create a Friends Club, write and publish an exclusive members-only story, and then display a preview of it – an excerpt and an image – on my blog. I look at the red-tufted, painted cow staring back at me from my homepage’s sidebar and grin. Surely, the cow will attract people’s eyes? It will definitely persuade my readers to visit my Buy Me a Coffee page and sign up…
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Should We Push Kids to Use Their Talents, Aim High and Impress?

Do you ever wonder if you should push your kids? Make them do hard things even if they complain. Drill them. Give them a rigorous education. I’ve heard of kids who, after receiving that kind of education, are now surgeons and lawyers or have some other kind of high-status career. Wouldn’t it be good to say, “My daughter is a doctor!”? We wouldn’t have to prove we did an excellent…
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The Problem with High Expectations and Control

Expecting a lot of our kids sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? If we have high expectations, perhaps our children will strive to achieve more. And if we keep raising the goal posts, won’t they end up doing amazing things? They could have fabulous secure futures that include high paying jobs. If we push our kids, they might become doctors or lawyers or enter another high-status profession. Or will our ideas and…
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Why We Need to Support Our Kids’ Choices

The other evening, we were watching an old episode of a cooking competition TV show. It was elimination night. For three hours, the contestants measured and mixed and baked and decorated. They also made mistakes, felt discouraged, picked themselves back up, and tried again. No one wanted to go home. They all had to keep fighting for their place in the competition. Eventually, the clock ticked down, and everyone stepped…
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Discussing Books and Writing Stories

Not so long ago, I posted the following words, about the current pandemic and control, in the Stories of an Unschooling Family community: One of the things that I’m finding hard to deal with at the moment is the lack of control I have over my life. Someone else is making decisions that affect me. I can’t do anything about that. I know that these are extraordinary times. Decisions are…
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What if Your Right is My Wrong? Unschool Bits and Pieces

What if Your Right is My Wrong? I’m always talking about how important it is that our children develop a sense of right and wrong. But what do we mean by ‘right’? Could your idea of what is right be my wrong? Could my right be your wrong? Although we are all unschoolers, we might not share the same values and beliefs. And this might worry anyone who is thinking about…
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Unschoolers Talk About Freedom to Choose

“If children are given the freedom to do whatever they want, will they choose to do nothing at all?” I ask my daughters. Sophie smiles and says, “It’s not possible to do nothing.” “But I’ve heard parents say to their kids, ‘You’ve done nothing today!’” I insist. Imogen joins the conversation: “Perhaps parents don’t value whatever the child has been doing. To them, it’s ‘nothing’. It doesn’t count.” I ask…
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How Unschooling is About Being Connected With Our Kids

Some parenting ideas seem to make a lot of sense. For example, children have far less life experience than parents, so we are in a better position than them when it comes to decision making. If we give our kids too much freedom, they might make poor choices. Some mistakes might not be significant, but what about those that affect their futures? Surely, a responsible parent will tell her kids…
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Radical Unschooling

Are you thinking about radical unschooling? Maybe you see the benefits of educational unschooling and now you’re thinking about letting unschooling spill over into all aspects of life. What do you do next? Perhaps you say to your kids, “We’re going to try radical unschooling. From now on you’re free to choose when you go to bed, what you eat, if you help with the chores… You can do whatever…
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Perhaps I Shouldn’t Have Told You about Our Typical Unschooling Day

In my last podcast, I spoke about our typical unschooling day. Every day we get up early, do our chores as a team, and then say prayers together before getting on with the work of the day. We eat regular meals, sitting around the same table at the same time. At the end of the day, none of us is reluctant to slip into bed and go to sleep. Many…
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Misconceptions: Unschooling Children are Self-Centred and Inconsiderate

Imagine giving children the freedom to choose. What if they are allowed to follow their own interests, and do whatever they like? What if there are no rules? Perhaps this sounds like a recipe for disaster. Will it produce self-centred and inconsiderate children? A lot of people believe it will. And maybe they’re right. We’ve all heard of children who run wild as soon as they realise they no longer…
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