Should We Encourage Our Kids to Follow Their Dreams?

What did you want to be when you were a child? I wanted to be a writer. I had a cardboard box inside my wardrobe where I stored my scribbled stories about princesses, dragons and faraway kingdoms. At night, in bed, before dropping off to sleep, I’d think up stories about large happy families who were a lot like the Brady Bunch.

I dreamed of writing books that would be displayed on library shelves, and hoped I’d marry a man who had a surname further up the alphabet than mine. My childhood name began with an S which was very inconvenient because I was always one of the last children to do anything that was organised alphabetically. Because of that experience, I imagined people in the library starting at the A aisle of books and giving up long before they reached S, having already found what they were looking for.

As I grew up, my writing dreams gradually faded away. “Not many people become successful authors,” I was told. I was directed towards a ‘safer’ and more ‘secure’ career in science which eventually led to a job in a lab at Sydney University. So I became a scientist instead of a writer. But that’s not the end of my story.

I married a man with a surname at the top of the alphabet just as I’d hoped. Unexpectedly, Andy and I had a big family like those I’d imagined. And, despite wandering down a scientific sidetrack, I did became an author, writing about unschooling and unconditional love and bigger-than-average families just like mine. Even if there aren’t so many people searching library shelves for books as in days gone by, preferring to Google them instead, the E that’s at the front of my surname hasn’t gone to waste. It’s part of Elvis which is rather distinctive and easy to remember. A perfect name for someone who writes.

So my dreams became reality despite a wrong turn in life. Is that because they’re what I’m supposed to be doing? Is the joy that I feel when involved with my interests a good sign that I’m on the right track?

I wonder what would have happened if I’d have been encouraged to follow my dreams right from the start. And what will happen if we ignore all the advice about ‘safe and secure’ jobs and encourage our kids to listen to the desires implanted within them and use their talents and get involved with their interests? Would we help them fast-track their way towards something that brings them joy?

Does doing this sound risky? Perhaps our kids should knuckle down and do what they don’t particularly want to do instead of following their dreams? Does it matter whether they’re happy or not? Is joy a good enough reason for turning their backs on the sensible option? Some people say it’s how we do a job that’s important. We can make a satisfying success of any career.

But what if our dreams and desires point us towards our mission in life? Could they have been implanted within us by God? Does He want us to use and develop the talents He’s given us and then trust they’ll lead where we’re meant to go?

I’ve been thinking about the path that’s ahead of me now that all my kids are grown up. (Gemma-Rose turned 18 earlier this year.) After twelve years of writing and speaking about unschooling, is it time to move on to something else? I frequently stop and listen to the desires within me. At the moment, they’re not well defined, but there is one strong feeling that keeps grabbing my attention:

I still want to write about unconditional love.

Love is the foundation of everything, isn’t it? It’s what we yearn for. Above everything else, love is what our kids need.

Could love be the one desire that’s implanted within all of us? Perhaps it’s at the heart of everyone’s dreams.

Photos

These are a couple of 2018 photos of my daughters, Imogen and Gemma-Rose, taken in the bush close to our home. Like me, Imogen has the desire to write implanted within her. Also like me, she’s published several novels. Perhaps you’ve already read her YA book, The Crystal Tree, and its sequel, The Shattering Song? If not, why not check them out?