Does having a simple Christmas sound good? It does to me.
This year, like last year and the one before, I wanted to announce that I’m not buying a lot of Christmas presents. I thought about saying that I’m not buying any at all. I didn’t want to think and think until the perfect gift ideas came to mind. I wanted to avoid battling my way around the shops or websites looking for everything at a good price. If I’d decided not to buy any gifts, think of all the money I’d have saved. And what about the long and tedious task of wrapping everything up?
Instead of worrying about gifts, I could have concentrated only on the spiritual side of Advent. For once, I could have prepared for Christmas without the distraction of present shopping.
Even though it was tempting, I chose not to eliminate the present giving side of Christmas. I’m doing all the things that I find difficult.
A few years ago, I found this quote: by Eugene Boylan in his book, This Tremendous Lover:
“… consider for a moment the sacrifices the parents have to make, to make Christmas all that tradition says it should be for their children. The expense, the worry, the trouble, the patience, the fatigue, the bitterness of financial limitations to one’s power of gratifying a child’s dream – the list is endless.
Think alone what is involved in Christmas shopping, where a large family and a small income are involved. And the thought can easily arise, especially for the ‘detached’ Christian: Is it all worth it? Of course, it is all worth it. It is done in memory of Christ; it is done to build up an idea of Christ; It is done for Christ; it is done to Christ! Amen, I say to you whatsoever you did to these my least brethren, you did it to me. When the New Year brings an end to those halcyon days for the children, this service done to Christ is the consolation that the parents should have in facing the expense…”
I included it in a blog post and then I wrote:
And I realise that every Christmas is an opportunity to make sacrifices for others. Christmas is not about reducing the workload or stress for myself. It’s about doing things out of love, making others happy and putting smiles on little faces. This is part of my spiritual Christmas preparation.
So I have done the difficult job of choosing just the right gifts within my budget for all my loved ones. I have hidden them away out of sight of excited children. I will wrap them carefully, and on Christmas Eve I will lay them under the tree.
On Christmas morning, my children’s eyes will light up with anticipation. They will tear off the wrappings, and arms will thrust themselves around me in tight hugs and I will hear the words, “I love you, Mum! Thank you!” And all the work and sacrifice will be worth it because it was done out of love, for those I love, and especially for Love.
Even though they are no longer small, my children’s faces will still light up on Christmas morning. When they unwrap the presents that I’ve chosen with care, I will still hear the words, “I love you, Mum! Thank you!” Like always, I know the work and sacrifices will be worth it.
I spoke about Christmas presents in my latest podcast, episode 143.
In Respecting Kids and Christmas Presents, I’m discussing the following questions:
- Is it the right of every child to be respected?
- How do we show respect to children?
- Do we sometimes do things for our kids only because we want them to do things for us?
- Is it okay to buy and enjoy giving Christmas presents?
- Is it okay to look forward to receiving them?
- Can choosing and giving presents be an act of love?
Also:
- I’m sharing some news about my unschooling book
- I tell two stories, one about respecting children, and the other about perfect Christmas presents and love
Show Notes
Blog Posts
My Perfect Christmas Present Secret
Making an Aussie Bush Christmas Tree
YouTube
Imogen’s Christmas Music Playlist
Photo: I took this photo a couple of years ago just before Charlotte, Gemma-Rose, Imogen, Andy and Callum sang The Carol of the Bells together. My daughter Sophie isn’t in the photo because she was filming the video!
Thank you for listening to this episode. If you enjoy my podcast, please consider sharing the link so we can spread the word about unschooling. A quick review or rating would help too!
I published this podcast a few days ago. Unfortunately, it has taken me a while to write the accompanying blog post. Life is very busy at the moment. Maybe yours is too! If you’d like to hear about my podcasts as soon as they go live, you could subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Podbean or your favourite podcast app.
Please feel welcome to leave a comment about anything I talked about in this episode. Perhaps you have a Christmas present story you could share. Or just stop by and say hello!
I found a logical flaw in the quote you posted. Yes, do all to the Glory of God. Sing of Christ, tell of Christ, give to the poor, hey, even put up lights in honor of Christ. Sure, fine, makes sense. But, when did buying yet more luxuries for the world’s wealthiest children become synonymous with giving to the least of these? I’m interested in your thoughts on this.
Holly,
Your question is interesting. It’s good to think about the meaning of the quote rather than just accept the words, isn’t it? Anyway, I’ve done some pondering and will share my thoughts!
Eugene Boylan was a Trappist priest who was born in 1904. I imagine he wrote these words primarily for people with ‘a large family and a small income.’ He wasn’t thinking about today’s society where many families are smaller and there is more money for, not only Christmas but for everyday living as well. By using the quote, I am applying it to my own situation. So maybe if there is a flaw, it lies in how I’m using these words.
I’ve been thinking about gifts. To be a gift, I think there needs to be some kind of sacrifice involved. We have to freely give something to someone else that has cost us time or effort or thought. This makes a gift valuable, a physical sign of our love. Our family is certainly not poor, but we do have to be very careful with our money. There are a lot of expenses involved with living a seemingly affluent life: health care costs, rents or mortgages, power bills, car expenses. We don’t have much money left over for luxuries such as holidays. We do make sacrifices so we can have an abundant Christmas. Of course, we need to include other people in that abundance especially people less fortunate than us. (I know there are degrees of wealth and we do consider ourselves well off because we have never wondered where our next meal is coming from etc)
Yes, some people may be so wealthy they are able to buy loads of gifts for their kids and maybe these aren’t appreciated. What indeed does this have to do with God? Perhaps people with more money have a harder time thinking of ways to make sacrifices in order to give true gifts to their kids so that the Christmas season is both meaningful and magical. Parting with money is easy especially if we have lots of it.
But do we need to give gifts? Why not just give all our money to the poor? Christmas reminds us that we have all been given an infinite gift that we didn’t deserve. God’s generosity is beyond our understanding. Maybe we need to imitate that generosity even in our own small way. We could tell our kids that we’re not giving them gifts. It’s not fair when there are so many people who have less than us. But I think we learn to be generous by experiencing generosity ourselves. Like love, it’s not something that we can learn unless we’ve experienced it. We can’t tell someone to be generous. Kids see our love and sacrifices in the joy of present giving. Perhaps they see God’s generosity also. Hopefully, they will want to be generous themselves. This is what I have experienced with my children. Present giving becomes much more important than present receiving. We want to make others happy and our joy comes from that rather than from getting the gift we were hoping for.
So our generosity is a reflection of God’s generosity which means that we can’t just buy gifts without reference to God. If we buy gifts and never mention God there is a problem. Our kids need to know that God is the source of everything we have. We have to give thanks for everything. And then, in our turn, give to others.
Of course, gifts come in many different forms. We can buy or make gifts. We can give of our time. We can do things for people. We don’t have to buy lots of things that add to our piles of stuff. We can spend our money on things that will make a true difference in our children’s lives.
In our family, we have a few Advent traditions which exist alongside the Christmas shopping. As well as buying things, we try and make little daily sacrifices which we call ‘gifts for God’. We do things for other people, we pray, we give alms… All these are good for us because they make us less self-centred, but they also benefit other people. Ultimately, these gifts are done for God. That’s why we place a piece of straw on the floor of our nativity scene to represent each of our sacrifices.
Of course, we can always do better when it comes to being generous. We can give more to charity. Help others more. Deny ourselves more often so that we can make someone else happy instead. I don’t do these things perfectly and could improve. I could be a better example of generosity for my kids. Something to think more about!
As you can see, I had lots of thoughts as I was running this morning! I hope some of them make sense.
Holly, it’s been good to chat with you. I hope you’re having a very blessed Advent with your family. May your Christmas be full of joy!
Wow, Sue, thank you so much for your thoughtful and thorough reply.
When I was a kid, I was given very little for Christmas compared to my circle of friends. I was always disapointed with the things I did recieve, too. I was entitled and I wanted so much of what the world was marketing to me. Why was my heart so wicked? Maybe it has nothing to do with our society setting up a day where everyone expects something great. Maybe it does.
Many people, like you, claim that their kids are thankful and happier with this tradition. Maybe there are more factors at play. Such as how much money vs how many kids, like you suggest. If I were to buy material goods for my one child and save them all up for one day a year, and buy enough until it felt like a sacrifice for me, I would completely ruin her (not to mention my house, haha).
As for all the other ways to give that you mentioned, I enjoy doing those things every time God presents me with the opportunity, regardless of the day or month. God has given me His love for others and it just naturally spills out. Exactly what you said about God’s generosity that we turn and give to others! Yes! I hope and pray my daughter sees that, even though there aren’t any shiny paper and bows. And it likely won’t be on the “correct” day.
I like that you are a thinker. You generally have a perspective that I don’t often see and I enjoy that. If you have more thoughts on this, I’m all ears. If, on the other hand, I am annoying you all the way from the northwest of the USA via the internet, then feel free to end here. 🙂
Peace to you,
Holly
Holly,
Oh yes, we can and should be generous regardless of the day of the year. I agree! We shouldn’t just save everything for the Christmas season. But could we celebrate Christmas and then take the fruits of the season with us as we move forward?
For us, the Christmas season, like the Easter season, is a time for us to refocus on God and what we should be doing. Despite our good intentions, we do sometimes wander away from God and His purpose for our lives. We don’t go far, but the concerns of everyday life can distract us. So I love how we have these special seasons to remind us of what we’ve been given and how much we are loved. We can pause and reflect and celebrate and then move on again with greater love and commitment. Even though Christmas might seem to be a time for presents, I’m sure the greater gift is the changing of hearts.
Holly, you are certainly not annoying me. It’s good to share thoughts and discuss things. I love hearing things from your perspective too. Thank you so much for returning to continue the conversation. I’m enjoying chatting with you! Sue
Sue, thank you so much for this post. For the past several years, I have had the same thoughts about simplifying Christmas preparations for my family in order to have more time to devote to spiritual preparations during Advent. I was feeling downright crabby about it last week until I listened to your podcast on this topic on a long drive I was taking by myself. When you read the Fr. Boylan quote, I felt my heart soften and spirits lift almost immediately. You are right, and all I needed was an attitude adjustment about all of these preparations and the real reason behind them. Thanks again for turning this Advent (and future Advents) around for me. May God continue to bless this work that you do!
Jan,
Fr Boylan’s words changed the way I feel about Advent. A real blessing. I’m so glad I could share them with you! Thank you so much for listening to my podcast and for your very kind feedback. I do appreciate you taking the time to leave your beautiful comment. I hope you have a very happy Christmas with your family. May God bless you!