Reluctant to Persuade or Engage

I create a Friends Club, write and publish an exclusive members-only story, and then display a preview of it – an excerpt and an image – on my blog. I look at the red-tufted, painted cow staring back at me from my homepage’s sidebar and grin. Surely, the cow will attract people’s eyes? It will definitely persuade my readers to visit my Buy Me a Coffee page and sign up for my fabulous membership posts. Before I know it, money will flood in. I’ll be able to pay all my expenses and keep my blog online.

A few hours later, my enthusiasm dissipates as the word ‘persuade’ takes up residence in my mind, demanding attention. When I finally turn to face it, I realise I don’t want to persuade anyone to do anything. I don’t want to find a way to convince as many readers as possible to join my club, handing over their coffees in exchange for more of my time and effort. I’d much rather people feel free to choose to support me or not.

So I head to my Buy Me a Coffee page and close the membership group, leaving only the coffee button for anyone who’d like a practical way to say, “Sue, thank you for what you do. Enjoy the coffee!” Because, of course, I won’t ever refuse coffee. Freely given help puts smiles on faces. We all know this is true, don’t we? When a child, seeing a sink full of dirty dishes, freely says, “I’ll wash those for you, Mum,” our hearts overflow with gratitude and love.

My peace returns as soon as the Friends Club disappears. A paid membership club might suit others, but running one is not for me.

So, my latest ‘big’ idea quickly fades away, and I think about other goals I’d like to achieve. But will I do whatever it takes to fulfil them? Or did I learn something from the Friends Club? Will I work within constraints that I’m now not willing to ignore?

I know I don’t want to be an unschooling influencer on social media, swapping my time and my family’s privacy for attention, living in a carefully curated, picture-perfect online world instead of in the delightful but often messy real one.

I’m reluctant to persuade by shouting louder and jumping higher than my competition, thinking up new ways to get people to follow me and then keeping my eyes glued to the stats, hoping to see more page views and subscribers.

I just want to share unschooling with anyone who likes my stories and be a friend without a club. I want to keep my freedom to be ‘me’ and do things my way. And I want to feel at peace. Achieving success would be good, but I’m not exchanging it for more important things.

If no one reads my posts and my blog shrinks until it disappears, because I’m not willing to give more of myself, it won’t be the end of the world. I could do something else.

I might write on my Wholy Souly blog, finish a new children’s novel, revise an old one, chip years of ice from our freezer, discover what’s lurking at the back of my kitchen cupboards, wash my matted long-haired cat, remove the thousands of books from our shelves, dust and return them, scrub the floor with a toothbrush… There are all kinds of fascinating things I could freely choose to do.

So, what limits do you impose when working to achieve success? Are some things more important to you than reaching your goals?

Do you ever get tired of persuading your kids to do the chores?

And how do you feel about the Internet? Do you use such things as social media, thinking it’s necessary for the attainment of a goal? How do you remain ‘you’ and keep your peace while immersed in this noisy, busy online world? Perhaps you thrive in that environment, enjoying the challenge of beating the algorithm and attracting followers? Or do you, like me, choose not to engage?