There are so many things we could fear.
We might be too afraid to send our kids to school if we listen to the loud voices telling us how bad traditional education is. We might choose homeschooling because of that fear.
If we decide to homeschool, we’re still not safe. Fears could follow us. We might be too afraid to trust our kids will learn all they need to know when they need to know it because we’re worried about their futures. We might fear letting go of control.
We might fear our kids will get into trouble and make mistakes, so, again, we won’t trust them. We hold on to the parental reins tightly, thinking it’s our duty to do this, even though our fears could be chasing away the joy of family life.
Lacking confidence and needing approval, we could be afraid of what other people think of us. We let outside opinions and expectations rule our lives, even though deep down, we know what we’re doing is wrong for our families.
So much fear. It’s exhausting. It clouds our days. It prevents us from listening to our kids, our hearts, and God.
What if we close our ears to the fear, refusing to immerse ourselves in negativity?
What if we listened to our kids instead? We could get to know who they are instead of forcing them to be who we think they should be. We could forge strong child-parent bonds. Trust could grow, and fear recede.
And what about our hearts? In the silence, what will we hear? Will we tune into the gentle voice of Love?
What if love guided our lives instead of fear? What if we let love decide our choices? Could we do this? Or does this feel risky?
Perhaps we’re too afraid to love, not realising it’s Love that will conquer all our fears.
Reject What Doesn’t Feel Right and Just Love
If something doesn’t feel right and you’ve lost your peace, perhaps you’d like to read this story:
An Unschool Challenge
If you’re afraid of failing, perhaps you could do Challenge 10: Learn Not to Fear Failure from my book, The Unschool Challenge. Here’s the introductory challenge story:
I once heard a priest say something along the lines of:
Fear indicates that an opportunity has arrived.
He also said:
We are made for adventure.
The big question is this:
When we’re afraid, will we be courageous, grab the opportunity that has arrived, and set out on an adventure? Or will our fears paralyse us? Will the fear of failure cause us to miss out on something that could be amazing?
I have had lots of failures. Here’s one of them:
Years ago, when our eldest child was 12, we moved to a cottage on a 100-acre property so my kids could live a free, wild, rich, unschooling life. We wanted to grow our own food and have a goat, some chooks, and even a donkey. But nothing went to plan. The soil was too poor for growing vegetables. It hardly ever rained, so we had to pay for water to be trucked to our home. We had to deal with rats and mice. My husband couldn’t get a job within reasonable travelling distance of the property. Our one and only neighbour threatened to shoot our dog if it jumped over our connecting fence. And then our unborn baby was diagnosed with ‘an abnormality incompatible with life’. We ended up back in town, grieving the loss of our son.
So many worries and difficulties. Our move to the country seemed like a total failure. But it wasn’t. As we endured all the hardships we hadn’t anticipated, we learnt about the important things of life while growing closer together as a family. We realised that we can’t give our kids a perfect life, however hard we try, but we can give them love. That’s what they need more than anything else. We also learnt that our ideas aren’t always the right ones. We have to let go of control and trust. Trust God and each other.
We also learnt not to fear failure.
The Unschool Challenge is available from Amazon. Why not check it out?
Hi Sue! I just want to thank you for everything you do! I have been having pretty bad doubts and anxiety over home/unschooling, but your posts and podcasts helped me to let the fear go. I struggle with an anxiety disorder, so I tend to get worked up over little things, but I am learning and getting more confident unschooling. Thanks to therapy, experience over time, and those who are willing and brave enough to share encouragement online. So, thank you!
Thank you so much for your kind feedback about my posts. I’m glad you’re finding them helpful!
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with anxiety. Anxiety prevents us from living life fully, doesn’t it? It is something I’ve been pondering for a while because some of my family is affected by this mental health issue, including me. I’ve been wondering if we can be predisposed towards anxiety. Can we inherit it? Is it likely we’ll develop anxiety if our parents have it? And do certain conditions bring anxiety into the forefront of our lives?
I was able to ignore my tendency towards anxiety until the covid years when I lost my freedom. It was taken away. Because of that experience, I’m wondering if anxiety increases when we lose control of our lives and when we’re forced to meet other people’s expectations.
And that brings me to kids. If we control them, are they more likely to become anxious? Do our children need their freedom to be mentally healthy? In a way, unschooling could be the answer to managing anxiety rather than a cause of it. It could protect our children. But, as a parent, it’s hard to let go of control, isn’t it? That makes us anxious!
Maybe talking about anxiety helps. We’re not alone. We can encourage each other.
It’s good to chat! Happy Easter!