Losing Time

I’ve been reading a book called A Time to Die by Nicholas Diat, who visited eight monasteries to talk to the monks about the experience of death. Here’s something that caught my attention:

One monk described how he cares for the old and sick, and how he has to guard against doing things in a routine way, trying to complete these tasks as quickly as possible without giving his full attention to the person he is looking after, his thoughts wandering to the things he’d rather be doing. The monk said he has learnt to think of the time he spends caring for his fellow monks as ‘losing time’ rather than ‘wasting time’. Losing time for God.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it’ (Matthew 16:25).

Sometimes when I’ve been caring for my children, I’ve felt bored and frustrated. I’ve thought about what I’d rather be doing. Doing the everyday things for our kids isn’t always stimulating and immediately rewarding, is it? Parenting can sometimes be lonely and difficult, and maybe there are days when we ache to escape.

But what if we try to live in the moment, give our full attention to our children, knowing we’re doing something very valuable with our time? What if, when we’re tempted to complain or hurry unnecessarily through our tasks, we say, “I’m losing time for God,”? Would that help? Time is all we have, isn’t it? What better way can we spend it than caring for those we love?

Saying all that, doesn’t take away the difficulties associated with parenting, but I’m sure God will give us the grace we need if we are glad to lose our time in this way. Maybe we’ll feel at peace. And perhaps we’ll change as people. Become more patient? Accepting? Loving? What do you think?

This story was first published in the Stories of an Unschooling Family community.

Photos

I plodded around this lake when I was pregnant, strolled around it with babies in slings, followed toddlers pursuing ducks, and watched little children scoot along its circular path. I’ve walked with eager dogs who’ve sniffed up the smells, and ambled hand-in-hand with my husband and arm-in-arm with my girls. We’ve picnicked, barbecued our sausages, and celebrated birthdays at this lake. We’ve fed the ducks, identified the birds, stopped to enjoy finger buns by the water on the way home from shopping, explored the nearby bush tracks, snapped a million photos of the lake in all seasons, filmed music videos here, run hundreds of laps…

Over the years, we’ve lived a lot of life at this lake.

Do you have a similar special place?

Something Extra

I wrote a blog post about a special morning that I spent at the lake with my girls. It’s called Speed Angel Joy. Here’s an excerpt:

I sit and watch my daughters, and my heart overflows with joy. Here I am with four of my children enjoying the autumn sun on a Thursday morning. I look at the blue, blue sky, and the sun shimmering off the water, the coloured leaves, the birds, and the beautiful smiles on the faces of my daughters. It is a perfect moment, a moment I want to remember forever. Surely I must be the most blessed mother ever?

I wonder about joy. What is it, and where does it come from? What is this feeling that’s flooding my heart? Could it be love? Could it be God? 

I remember some words from the book I Believe in Love by Fr d’Elbee:

Do you think you are a joy for Jesus?… is it not a matter of elementary logic that a father and his child should be a joy for one another? Jesus, You are my joy, and I, too, am Your joy. Is it not written that “His delight is to be with the children of men”?

I think about how my children love me. I think about their trust, their delight and enjoyment of life, their joy. And I wonder: am I like a child? Do I trust? Am I a joy and delight for God like my children are for me?

Perhaps you’d like to read the whole story, which can also be found in my book Radical Unschool Love!