Letting Go of Our Own Ideas About Our Kids’ Education

Many years ago, I set out on a big search for the perfect method of homeschooling. I was looking for something that would ensure that my kids learnt all the essentials of a good education. (These basics varied depending on what books I was reading.) The perfect method also had to suit me. What did I want to do each day as far as homeschooling went? What did I enjoy learning about that I wanted to pass on to my kids? Which method appealed to me?

What I didn’t think about were my kids. What did they want to do? What would suit them? I suppose I regarded those questions as irrelevant. I always decided what method of homeschooling we were going to use because I was the parent. My kids didn’t have a say.

Every time I switched methods, my kids did their best to get excited and cooperate. I guess my initial enthusiasm was contagious. But eventually, the novelty wore off, and my kids started pushing back: “Why do we have to do this?” I fought to keep hold of control, but it was a losing battle. My children ended up having their say even though I was reluctant to give it to them.

I was beginning to realise that homeschooling isn’t about me. It’s not about what I like and how I’d prefer to do things. It’s about my kids. What are their needs? What are they interested in? How do they learn best?

So I stopped thinking about myself and how I wanted to homeschool. Instead of forcing my children to listen to me, I began listening to them. Eventually, we arrived at unschooling.

And I discovered something very interesting: homeschooling might be about our kids, but unschooling is for everyone. Putting aside my preferences didn’t mean that I missed out. Oh no, I gained something unimaginably better than what I was initially hoping for. Unschooling suits my kids. But it suits me as well. It’s a family affair. We’re all learning in our own ways as well as together. How we learn isn’t a novelty. It’s natural. It’s part of life. And it’s exciting!

I used to find reading homeschooling books exciting. The ideas within their pages would circulate my mind. It’s just a pity that the excitement always came crashing down not long after I put those ideas into action. When that happened, I needed a new source of excitement. I looked for another book to inspire me.

These days, I no longer feel the need to read homeschooling books. Instead, I’m writing books of my own. Unschooling books. (Years ago, I couldn’t have predicted doing that!) I write because I have something exciting to share.

I’m confident that my books will make a difference. And that’s because the ideas contained in Curious Unschoolers and Radical Unschool Love aren’t my ideas. I didn’t make them up. I didn’t put together a learning method that I can call my own. (Shall we try Charlotte Mason or perhaps we’ll give Sue Elvis a go?!!) I just spent a lot of time observing and listening and thinking about things and then came to the conclusion that kids don’t need an artificial learning system imposed on them in order to learn. All they need is for us to surround them with a stimulating environment, give them their freedom and our good example, and then trust them. Although that’s simple, it could also be difficult, especially if we have our own ideas about what education should look like and how kids learn. We might need thoughts to ponder, time to absorb them, stories to reassure us, and someone to encourage us before we can let of outdated ideas and head off down the less travelled (but very exciting!) unschooling path. And that’s what my books are all about.

The ideas in Curious Unschoolers and Radical Unschool Love aren’t the kind that will last only for a short and hopeful season. They will encourage your whole family to connect and learn and grow in a way that suits you best. A way that is natural. A way that will endure for your whole lives.

Some Extra Things

A Podcast

This week, I’m not making a podcast, but maybe you’d like to listen to an old episode. Here’s one that might fit in well with this blog post. Episode 138 is called Is Unschooling More Than a Method of Homeschooling?

A Book Review

I’m running out of reviews to share with you. If you’ve read my books and enjoyed them, would you consider writing a few words to post on Amazon? It would help other people hear about unschooling!

Great information!!! Well worth reading!

This book has been incredibly helpful to me personally!! Easy to follow. Well written. I am a homeschooler/unschooler and I felt so connected to the author throughout.

Thank you, Marion, for your kind review of Curious Unschoolers!

An Unschoolgram Post

Here’s a post that I wrote for Instagram, but it’s now also on Unschoolgram:

Would you like to chat about unschooling?

3 May 2019
.
Imagine sitting at the kitchen table together and chatting about unschooling. We’d drink tea and ponder all kinds of thoughts. We’d share ideas and encouragement. We might become real life friends.
.
Yes, what if we could meet up in person? What if that were possible? I guess if we live within reasonable travel distance of each other we could. Would that be something good?
.
And if getting together isn’t feasible, there’s always my book:
.
. ‘… perhaps you can imagine us sitting around your kitchen table, mugs in our hands, chatting about unschooling together.
.
I’m going to share my family and our experiences. We’ll ponder ideas and thoughts. Our conversation will go deep and wide. It’ll be honest and real. And it’ll be flavoured with love and gentleness.
.
I hope that you’re going to get excited about the possibilities. I want my words to encourage you, if you haven’t already done so, to set out on an unschooling adventure of your own…’ from the introduction to ‘Curious Unschoolers’.
.

So, would you like to sit around the kitchen table and discuss unschooling? Have you hopped over to Unschoolgram to read a few posts? Perhaps, before leaving my blog, you could take a look and see if I’ve posted something new!

And have you ever travelled the cycle of hope, excitement and disappointment while looking for the perfect way to educate your kids? Perhaps, like us, you eventually arrived at unschooling?