Is It Risky to Share Our Book Collections? What Will People Think?

Do our bookshelves reveal things about ourselves? Are there times when we’d rather no one knows what we read to avoid possible criticism? Do we use books to project a particular image? Maybe our book collections sometimes deceive? Are some books better than others? Or can we learn something from everything we read? Could sharing the books we’re reading lead to some fascinating unschooling conversations?

Years ago, a fellow homeschooling family invited us to a gathering at their home. After our kids had reluctantly completed an educational activity, presented by an enthusiastic parent, our host offered us coffee. Then, mug in hand, I explored a bookshelf that had caught my attention. Reaching from the floor to the ceiling and spreading across an entire wall, it was crammed full of old religious books with fragile pages stitched between handcrafted covers. Standing before this magnificently impressive collection, I wondered if the family had read all these books. Had they read any of them? Or were the books just for display?

Book collections are fascinating, aren’t they? They say something about the people who put them together. Maybe, sometimes, they reveal more about us than we’d like people to know. But our books can also deceive: people might form false opinions about us based on the ones we read.

Often, when making videos or taking blog post photos, I’m aware of the bookshelves in the background. What do our books reveal about me and my family? Will anyone judge us because of our choices? Will someone think, “Sue reads a lot of rubbish!” or “How could they read such books?” or “I didn’t realise Sue likes… believes…” Will our books influence people’s opinions, good and bad, about us?

When my kids were younger, other people’s opinions affected what I let my kids read. I didn’t want anyone whispering behind our backs: “Did you hear what Sue lets her kids read? How could she?” I wanted my friends to think I was a good and responsible parent. Then, one day, although I was still willing to listen to other people’s ideas – it’s good to share thoughts and learn from each other – I decided we’d make our own decisions about what is good or not for our kids.

Kids and Inappropriate Books

Here’s something I wrote several years ago after I’d read Neil Gaiman’s children’s novel, Coraline:

I finished Neil Gaiman’s writing class on the Masterclass website the other day. The last lesson was about an author’s responsibilities. Gaiman spoke about his children’s novel, Coraline, which some parents might not want their kids to read.

Coraline discovered the door a little while after they moved into the house….

When Coraline steps through a door to find another house strangely similar to her own (only better), things seem marvellous. 

But there’s another mother there, and another father, and they want her to stay and be their little girl. They want to change her and never let her go.

Coraline will have to fight with all her wit and courage if she is to save herself and return to her ordinary life.

Neil Gaiman’s Coraline is a can’t-miss classic that enthralls readers age 8 to 12 but also adults who enjoy a perfect smart spooky read.

It’s a horror story. Gaiman said kids need to read this genre of book. I guess the idea is that kids will meet horror at some stage of their lives. Encountering it in a story gives them a chance to process it safely. Although Coraline is a horror story, Gaiman said it’s also a story about bravery. That’s the number one message he wants kids to get from his book.

When I was a younger parent, I tried to keep my kids away from some books. Mostly, I did this because I was following the lead of the parents around me. “You didn’t let your child read that book, did you?” No one wants to hear those words, do they? I wanted people to think I was a good parent.

After a while, I let my kids read ‘unsuitable’ books, but I said, “Don’t tell anyone what you’re reading.” We kept what we did at home quiet to avoid possible criticism. I also didn’t want other parents to regard my kids as inappropriate company for theirs. My eldest daughter once lent a book to her friend. The child returned it quickly: “Her dad said she’s not allowed to read it!” Can you imagine how I felt when I heard those words?

So, was I an irresponsible parent? Or did I recognise good in the books rejected by other parents? Were some of the books a safe way for my kids to learn about and experience the world?

That story reminds me of how difficult parenting is. And how insecure we feel at times. We often let people from outside our immediate families influence us, don’t we? We listen to them instead of our kids and ourselves, constantly changing our minds about what we believe is right in response to what others say. Even when we have firm opinions contrary to the crowd, we could be reluctant to voice them. We want to appear like everyone else rather than risk losing our friends. We want to belong.

My Reading Challenge

A few years ago, I went through a book reading desert. Even though I had many books I wanted to read, I lacked the concentration to work my way through them. Every paragraph or two, I’d stop as my attention wandered to something else. It was frustrating. I felt pathetic. Eventually, I decided I had to do something about this situation. So, I eliminated many distractions and set myself the challenge of reading 52 books in a year. And, for the last three years, I’ve reached that goal. I’m already up to 53 books this year, with another month to go before the challenge ends.

So, what have I read this year? Did I give up on any books that I started? Did I learn much from the ones I finished? Did any books remain in my thoughts long after I read the last page? Did I discuss some of them with my kids? 

I could answer those questions while sharing some of my books with you in future blog posts. Maybe we’d end up having some interesting unschooling discussions. But is sharing my books with you a good idea? Because what will you think of me after I tell you what’s on my shelves?

Photos

These images were taken by Haley Black, Pexels.

I love cafes that provide books to read, don’t you? Coffee and a book: perfect!

So, what do you think?

Shall we discuss books, yours and mine, and see where the discussion leads?