The other day, I asked my kids, “Would you like me to delete my blog?”
”Why would we want you to do that?”
“Well, you might not like your photos and stories all over the Internet.”
”But you’ve been posting them for years.”
”I know, but you might have changed your mind about wanting to share them. Perhaps you’re no longer happy to have your photos online.”
“I don’t mind you using my photos,” said Imogen. “And you can tell my stories.”
”Are you sure? I’m prepared to delete my blog if you want me to. And I could remove my books from Amazon.”
”No, don’t do that, Mum. Really, it’s okay.”
So I’m not going to delete everything that I have ever posted and published about my children. Well, not at the moment. I guess there could come a day when one of my kids changes her mind and no longer wants to be visible online. And if that happens, I’d delete my blog without hesitating because my kids’ stories and photos belong to them, not me. I’m only free to use them with permission.
All those years ago, when I first became a blogger, what would I have done if my kids had protested: “Don’t post my photo!”? What if they’d said, “I don’t want everyone to know what I did!”? I guess I could have posted photos that didn’t include their faces. Shots from the back. Heads cut off. That kind of thing. And I could have changed my children’s names when sharing their stories. Called them Princess or Honey or Possum or Tiger or Frodo.
But what about people who know me in real life? They could still have worked things out. Even friends who don’t know I’m a blogger might have done this. They could have stumbled over my blog accidentally. Our neighbour, Mr G, did this. I once wrote a blog post about how he discovered that I’m a blogger. It was called My Secret Identity:
…
One day my son Callum says, “I saw Mr G today. He’s going to leave a DVD about quitting sugar in our mailbox, next time he walks by.”
I think about this for a moment. “How does Mr G know we’ve given up eating sugar?”
Callum shrugs his shoulders. “Does he read your blog? Did he read your post about the Christmas pudding collection?”
Did Mr G read the following words?
Then one day, as I was standing at the check-out at Big W I glanced to my left, and there was this book staring at me: ‘I Quit Sugar‘. It was shouting, “Read me! Read me!” I didn’t want to read it. I was doing my best to ignore it. But then I noticed it was on special. The thought of buying a bargain encouraged me to pick up the book and start flipping through it. I asked my daughters for their opinion. Did they think we should give up eating sugar? They said we should buy the book to find out more. So we took a copy of ‘I Quit Sugar’ home with us…
I know all my words are floating out there in public where anyone can read them. My blogs are very easy to find. All you have to do is google my name. But Mr G wouldn’t have had any reason to do that, would he? So how did he find out I’m a secret blogger?
The DVD lands in my mailbox: Sugar v Fat, a BBC documentary. It looks interesting. I must remember to thank Mr G the next time I see him.
My opportunity soon arrives. I’m walking along our road, on my way to the village store, when Mr G drives past. He winds down his window, and I say, “Thank you for the DVD.”
“I read your post about the Christmas pudding.”
“You did? How did you find my blog?” I ask.
“Oh, I was googling something to do with cars, and one of your posts turned up in the search results. It was one of your posts about Callum and his cars.”
My secret life isn’t as secret as I thought. Oh my! I shall have to be more careful about what I write. What if I write something I shouldn’t? What if the wrong person reads it?
…
Oh yes, we have to be careful about what we write, don’t we? We can’t put other people down or make fun of them or embarrass them in any way. We have to be respectful and kind. It’s easy to get carried away with what we think is a wonderful blog post idea. But sometimes we need to stop and consider the person we’re writing about. Are we breaking the blogging rules?
The blogging rules? Many years ago, when almost all my family were bloggers, we had a list of rules we agreed to abide by. I included them in a post called Life is a Blog Post.
Life is a Blog Post
Do you ever find your children looking over your shoulder, anxious to see what you’re doing? Mine are always quietly watching and absorbing. They observe, and they think deeply, and then they come to the conclusion that anything I can do, they can do too. And before I know it, they’ve worked out exactly how to do what I’m currently involved with. Soon I’m no longer the only knitter, writer, photographer, cook or blogger in the family.
Blogger? Yes, my four youngest daughters are bloggers. Somehow we’ve turned into a family of bloggers with a multitude of blogs. There we sit, each at our computer, thinking and writing and editing, and writing some more. Eventually, ‘publish’ is pressed, and then there is anticipation and excitement.
“Did you read my post? What do you think?”
“You’ve written a new blog post!”
“I love your post!”
We sit and share and enjoy each other’s writings. It’s a family affair.
Just recently, my son Callum joined the blogging world too. Is writing contagious? Is blogging contagious? Yes!
Callum and I are sipping coffee in the café, having some mother-son time.
“How’s your blog going?” I ask.
“Slowly. I haven’t posted much yet. But I do have a few ideas.”
“Do you mind if I share some blogging guidelines, things I’ve picked up?”
Now I know sons don’t usually want advice from their mothers, but we are relaxed and enjoying each other’s company, and so Callum is in the mood to indulge me.
I recite my guidelines for a blogging son:
1. Write about things that really interest you, those that you are passionate about. Write about what you know. Then your posts will be interesting.
2. Be yourself; that’s good enough. You don’t have to pretend to be someone else.
3. Share honestly, and your posts will ring true, and you’ll make connections with others.
4. Never use posts to complain and whine and whinge, especially about other people.
5. Never write anything that will upset or make fun of someone else.
6. Never post embarrassing photos of anyone.
7. And most important of all, never complain about your mother. Don’t embarrass her or post photos of her that make her look old.
Callum gives me a sheepish grin and says, “What will happen if I do the last one?”
I fling out my arm in a mock swipe. “What do you think will happen? Look after your mother. It’s in your interests. You’ve got to live with her!”
We often talk about family loyalty. And how important it is we show a united front to the world. We don’t whinge and complain about each other. We don’t pull one other down. Our family is our safe refuge, where we are always accepted and supported and loved.
“I think I’ll write about fixing things, Mum. You know how we tend to throw everything away when something goes wrong? Well, it’s so satisfying making something work again. I get a real buzz working out all the problems with my computer.” Callum’s eyes light up.
I love sharing with my son. I’m glad we can talk blogging. Shall I tell him he’s just given me an idea for a blog post? Will he mind if I write about our mother-son time? No. He’ll grin widely and say, “I thought you would, Mum.” Callum is a blogger. He understands. As long as we remember to be kind, life is a blog post!
Something Extra
At the moment, only one of my children is updating her blog. That’s Imogen. She writes at Write.Rewrite.Read. Why not check out her blog?
And if you’d like to read my stories about Callum and his cars, you can find the best versions of them in my unschooling books, Curious Unschoolers and Radical Unschool Love.
Photos
The first three photos are of my daughters, Charlotte and Gemma-Rose. I took them four years ago while we were out and about scouting for music video locations. We ended up at a reservoir. As you can see, it was a windy day!
The last photo is of Callum. I took it a year ago.
The photos haven’t got much to do with this post, but I have permission to use them!
So, I’m wondering if any of your children are bloggers. Do you blog? Do you think it’s okay to post photos of our kids online? Do we need permission? What if our children are too young to understand? I’d love to hear what you think!
