I decided to say goodbye to my Stories of an Unschooling Family blog. After over a dozen years of writing and speaking about unschooling, it was time for new adventures.
But then, one day, I had an idea: even though I no longer wanted to blog about unschooling, perhaps I could stay in touch with the unschooling community on Instagram. What if I continued to post photos or reels with short, unschooling stories? And maybe I could use IG to promote some of the posts in my blog’s archive.
So, for a few weeks, I created an IG post with a photo or reel and an unschooling thought or idea almost every day. And while I was doing that, I scrolled through my endless feed and joined in with a few conversations, and before I knew it, unschooling had taken over my life again.
I soon felt overwhelmed by all the noise on social media. I started comparing myself to the younger, more vibrant unschooling influencers who had thousands of followers, unlike me. I wondered: what was I doing wrong? Why weren’t my posts getting hundreds of likes? How could I persuade people to follow me? How could I be successful on Instagram?
I researched and read articles like How I Gained a Million Instagram Followers in Only One Day and One Billion Fabulous Ideas for Instagram Stories That Will Keep Your Followers Coming Back for More. I thought about my ‘brand’. Should I change my image? Am I too old? Maybe I need to be more upbeat and trendy. Should I adopt a new ‘voice’? How about a new name?
And then I stopped and said, “Sue, don’t be ridiculous. You’re you, and that’s okay.”
I also admitted, yet again – I keep trying to convince myself otherwise – I don’t like social media. I hate the transient nature of it, how I have to think of new ways to produce more attention-grabbing content to replace yesterday’s offering that has already passed through everyone’s feeds, never to be seen again.
I also don’t want to feel discouraged when I compare my life and what I’m doing to someone else’s.
That’s a problem, isn’t it? Sometimes other people’s lives are inspiring, but often they make us think, “What’s wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? Why aren’t my kids perfect like those in that family? Unschooling might suit other families, but it’s not working for us.”
Comparisons and discouragement can make us feel like running away.
I ran away from social media. Yes, I’ve deleted my IG account. I no longer want to jump up and down, adding to the noise, trying to get everyone’s attention as I promote myself. I’ve given up, or maybe I’m rebelling, refusing to play the game.
No social media probably means I will fade away despite the reassurances I received when I googled Do I need Social Media to Promote My Blog… Books? Soon no one will know who I am and what I’m doing. But I’m okay with that. I want to live my life my way and not be tied to a system that makes me unhappy.
So, I’m no longer on social media, but I’m still here on my blog, republishing old stories in new ways. And that might be surprising because, as I said at the beginning of this post, I did try to say goodbye. I never intended coming back. But I should have known I couldn’t stay away forever. I’ve attempted to let go of my blog without success many times before.
Why do I fail each time? Why do I keep looking over my shoulder instead of moving on without a second glance? I think the answer has a lot to do with love.
I can’t stop saying, “Try not to worry about giving your kids a perfect upbringing and education. It doesn’t matter if you have bad days or your unschooling kids aren’t poster perfect. Just keep unschooling. Keep loving unconditionally. With love, everything will be okay.”
I never get tired of sharing the message of unconditional love.
A Message We Can All Share Even if Our Unschooling Lives Aren’t Picture-Perfect.
Today’s archive posts are about imperfect unschooling lives, kids and unconditional love. I’m sharing two stories and a podcast.
From the story, A Message We Can All Share Even if Our Unschooling Lives Aren’t Picture-Perfect:
But what if our family is going through a difficult time? What if we think our kids aren’t perfect examples of unschooling? Will we feel uneasy sharing our stories? Will we wish our kids were different because they don’t match up to the unschooling vision we think we should be presenting to the world? Perhaps we’ll want to creep away from the public eye or avoid discussing unschooling with our extended family because someone might say:
‘Unschooling obviously doesn’t work. Why do you do it?’
‘What do you know about unschooling? You’re not doing a great job living this way of life.’
A Message We Can All Share Even if Our Unschooling Lives Aren’t Picture-Perfect
Unschooling Poster Kids
From the story, Unschooling Poster Kids:
…are there things other than money that we should be thinking about when we consider the homeschooling and parenting options?
Do we want to bring up kids who know they’re okay because we’ve accepted them for who they are? Do we want them to pursue work that’s important to them and brings them joy? Would we like our children to live purposeful lives, doing what they think God wants them to do?
Would we like our kids to feel unconditionally loved and then love in return?
Unschooling Poster Kids
Social Media, Hooks, Dustractions, and Books
From the podcast post, Social Media, Hooks, Distractions, and Books:
Yes, there are benefits to using social media. But could there also be risks? What about our privacy? Are platforms such as Instagram and Facebook using us? Are they influencing our behaviour?
In this week’s podcast, episode 185, Imogen and I are discussing social media: do we need it? Is it a distraction? Can we break the hooks that FB and IG use to pull us in?
Social Media, Hooks, Distractions, and Books
Top Photos
It’s wattle season again! Did you know there are over 1000 species of wattle in Australia? On every day of the year, there is a golden wattle blooming somewhere in our country. At the moment, we have at least three types of wattle lighting up the bush close to our home, making it picture-perfect!
So, what do you think?
Do you ever get discouraged by what you see on social media? Do you ever wish your kids were poster-perfect because it’s hard dealing with the criticism of those around you? I wonder if anyone else is attempting to live a quiet life without any social media at all.
That is why I love reading your blog posts because “You’re You!”. Please don’t stop writing and inspiring those of us that truly love unschooling. Thank you!
Robert,
We accept our kids for who they are but often find it hard to accept ourselves, thinking we should change. Be someone else. I wonder why that is. Anyway, your comment made me smile. Thank you!
I’m so glad you didn’t stop this blog!!
Thanks for sharing your Instagram journey. It’s just crazy how you need to keep up and produce new attention-grabbing content. I’m glad you’re you… keep doing what you do.
Hugs!!
Esther,
Oh yes, it’s hard keeping up with social media and life in general. I’ve been thinking a lot about that. Perhaps it’s okay to step away from all the hurry, and slow down and enjoy life properly instead of always having one eye on the next post, photo, or whatever it is that we’re trying to keep up with.
I’m so pleased you continue to read my blog. Thank you!
I understand how you feel about being yourself and not worrying about how many “likes” you get on social media! My ministry’s website had very few views for many, many years but now it has increased. I find this exciting but I also sometimes purposely avoid looking at the numbers because I do not want to get too attached. I do keep my ministry’s Facebook group open because it is one way I connect with the moms I help and to mostly advertise the latest post. However, I have been successfully able to limit my time on Facebook.
I am on an unschooling Catholics Facebook group and an email list. If you want, I could share your posts when you put out a new one. That way you wouldn’t feel the need to get on social media but could still receive some of the traffic. Let me know what you think!
Sometimes I think I should make videos and post on Instagram for my ministry but those are not me, so I don’t even think about it anymore.
Gina,
It’s sad we live in a world where the value of our work (and ourselves as well) is determined by the amount of likes we receive. Many times, I’ve been discouraged by the lack of positive feedback to posts etc, comparing myself to others who seem very popular. Like you, I’ve had to avoid looking at blog stats and social media likes and followers. I know they don’t tell the whole story, but they can affect how we feel and influence our decisions. We could end up discouraged enough to say, “Why bother?” and stop working.
Despite my negative experiences with social media, I know it can be good for some people, a way to connect and support each other. I’m so pleased to hear your ministry’s Facebook group is going well. That’s wonderful!
You are so kind offering to share my posts in the FB Unschooling group. Thank you! I’d appreciate that very much.
Gina, it’s always good to chat and share experiences with you. Thank you for stopping by!
Your blog is always still my favorite one out there! It’s so real, and so loving and encouraging. It’s a feel good space away from the crazy “picture perfect” places that inundate social media. Thank you!
Sarah,
It was so good to see your comment! Your words are so kind and reassure me that everything will be okay even though I’ve left social media. I don’t need to be an IG unschooling superstar with a million followers. I can keep writing here. Thank you so much for stopping by!
Dear Sue,
did you think of making interviews with Unschoolers and Homeschoolers? For me would be definitely very interesting to read it because most bloggers who do interviews (and there are not many) have (very) young children, so they are just at the beginning of this fascinating journey. You have a lot of experience and a different point of view as your own children just left the house and are probably about to get their own future unschoolers. I can imagine you could ask interesting question and I am sure you are a good listener. I would love to read interviews on your blog.
MaMa,
Oh yes, it’s interesting to hear other unschoolers’ stories! You’re right: most people who are interviewed have young kids. Maybe there are few interviews with parents who have older unschoolers because of privacy concerns. I’ve got to that stage. Now all my children are adults, I want to protect their privacy so it’s difficult writing about this stage of unschooling.
Despite the difficulties, I shall think about your suggestion. Thank you for stopping by and sharing it!
Dear Sue,
I did not meant you should interview your own kids (which would be certainely interesting, but I perfectly understand your reasons why you don’t do it), but I meant you could make interviews with other families (not only from Australia), maybe your readers would join in or recommend someone you could make an interview with, you could interview authors of books about un- and homeschooling … there are for sure many people who do not write a blog as you do but have a lot to say and giving them a room in form of an iterview would be interesting, because you, with your experience, could ask good questions. You could also contact unschoolers from other countries and once you start people would probably start to contact you on their own.
M,
I didn’t word my comment very well. I’m sorry! Yes, the interviews would be with other families. I was just wondering if I’d have trouble finding families who’d be willing to share the stories of their older unschoolers. Pam Larrichia has interviewed some adult unschoolers on her podcast, but many unschoolers want to keep their lives private when they reach this age.
You are right: there are a lot of people associated with unschooling and homeschooling I could interview. I don’t think I’d have any trouble asking questions and conducting the interviews. I’ve had a lot of practice interviewing my own children! I just have to decide whether this is something I want to do.
Thank you so much for all your suggestions!
I can imagine interviews could be also anonymized, with changed names if people wish, only country of origin, age of children or so.
M,
Changing names and making interviews anonymous: I hadn’t thought about doing that. That’s an excellent idea!
“I don’t like social media. I hate the transient nature of it.”
THIS. THIS. THIS. This is exactly what I hate about the churnmill of Twitter, Facebook, etc. It is so inefficient and wasteful in that all of the great content that is generated is there one minute and basically gone the next day. It’s so much better to build up a library of information on a blog/website.
You are doing a great service by simply being here on your blog. Keeping it active in whatever way you choose will bless others. Someone new just found my 18 year old blog this week and left a comment that she was happy to find it. She purchased one of my products. There are lots of people out there looking for REAL online mentors who can offer encouragement and insight.
I support your decision every time you quit (lol) but I’m also glad you decided to keep going. I understand the struggle. I really do.
Sallie
Sallie,
Writing social media posts is much easier than blogging. Upload a photo, add some words, and press ‘share’. No agonising over the words and grammar and how everything looks. I understand why so many people have left blogging in favour of FB and IG. But, yes, all those posts disappear into the never-ending stream and, after a day or two, probably won’t be read again. I agree, a library of information on a website is much better.
Sometimes I forget that readers don’t just read the latest blog posts. Some go from post to post. Others enter my blog on an old post that showed up in the Google search results. All our posts are waiting to be discovered by new readers, just like the person who recently discovered your blog and bought one of your products. That must have been very encouraging. Sometimes it helps us keep going, doesn’t it, when we can see our efforts are producing fruit?
I’ve quit IG three times and announced my departure from blogging a few times too. Looking at this positively, it can be good to stop and reassess and change anything that’s not working before continuing on. You’re right, blogging can be a struggle!
It’s so good to chat with you!
I’m super happy you didn’t stop, Sue! You’re blog has always been an inspiration especially on the tougher days. Thank you.
Vicky,
It’s so lovely to hear from you! I often think of you and your beautiful family and wonder how you’re going.
My post views and podcast downloads are falling, and I’ve been wondering if that’s a sign I’m no longer relevant now there are lots of younger unschoolers online sharing their experiences and ideas. Is it worth building up my blog again? Or should I just give up? Your kind comment encourages me to keep going, at least for a while. Thank you so much! Please pass on my love to everyone!
Dear Sue,
I don’t know what the reason for falling views may be, but definitely I find your blog very special. Your basic thought that it is the unconditional love we give to our children which makes it out is the most important point I miss in most if not all other blogs which (just) give hacks and tipps and an insight in an un(home)schooling days. I read other blogs for this reason as it is always nice to get inspiration, but it is your blog which gives me always the reasurance that we took the right path.
I love that you kept writing until your children got 18, it is very rare to read about older children and teens and your blog is a perfect longterm sociologic material prooving to 100 % that not only homeschooling but also unschooling really does work and even way better than homeschooling.
I agree! You said what I was thinking so eloquently!
These comments make me smile! ❤️
I’m so pleased it’s unconditional love that makes my blog different to others. There’s nothing more important than love, is there? That’s what our kids need more than anything else. It’s strange how that message became stronger and stronger for me over the years while I was writing posts for this blog.
I wonder if my blog views are falling because of inconsistency. Maybe I need a blogging strategy! I should think more about my content, and how I can promote it, especially as I’m no longer on social media where it’s easier to be seen. I tend to do things haphazardly, as I feel like it, in odd moments of time. But if I intend to stay around for a bit longer and want to get my message out there more effectively, perhaps I need to adopt some of the methods of the more successful bloggers. I need to do some research!
Thank you for your encouragement!