Do you use the screen time feature on your phone and other devices? I used to. At the end of every week, I received a report telling me how much time I’d spent on my iPhone and iPad and how I’d used that time. When I saw the number of hours I’d spent on my devices, I felt guilty. How could I have let myself sit in front of my screens for so long? Each week, I told myself I had to do better. I should show more self-control. Reduce my screen hours.
But then one day I realised that I couldn’t reduce my screen time: I need to use my devices.
I use my phone, iPad and laptop for a diverse range of activities which are all good: writing, blogging, editing podcasts, video and photo editing, learning new skills from my Skillshare courses, reading books from Kindle and my BorrowBox library, creating graphics, drawing using Procreate, reading the daily Mass readings, watching spiritual and other videos, exchanging emails, posting here in my unschooling community, getting involved with valuable online conversations, researching questions.
I decided that the amount of time we spend on our screens doesn’t tell the whole story. Instead of counting hours, perhaps it’s more helpful to think about this question: are we doing the things that are important to us? Or are we letting ourselves be distracted by our screens? For example, when I was writing my unschooling books, Curious Unschoolers and Radical Unschool Love, I often opened my social media apps instead of getting down to work. I was putting off the moment when I’d have to concentrate and think more deeply. Eventually, I faced the fact that social media was distracting me away from doing good work, and so I deleted all my accounts.
I also deactivated the screen time counting feature on my devices. I didn’t want it to distract me away from all the good things I’m doing on my screens.
Screen time limits sound sensible but could they be limiting? If we reduce the number of hours that our children or we are allowed to use our devices, will we also reduce the amount of valuable work we could accomplish?
I guess the next big question is: how do we define valuable work? Aren’t kids just wasting time on their screens? Before giving an answer, maybe we ought to ask ourselves the same question.
I regard my work as important. I’m learning and achieving things that I consider are good. If my kids are also doing things that are important to them, why shouldn’t their work be regarded as valuable as well?
We can learn a lot by looking at ourselves, can’t we? If we are involved with the same things as our kids, or willing to try them out, we can gain insight into their learning experiences.
So, our family isn’t limiting our learning by limiting our screen time. That doesn’t mean we spend every available hour on our computers. There are many offscreen things we want to do too. But that’s another story!
Photos
Even though everyone in our family spends a lot of time on their devices (doing good work!), we do other things too. We have to. If Sophie and I don’t go on any photography outings, we won’t have anything to edit when we open Lightroom on our laptops. And when I closed my computer after writing and publishing my unschooling books, I still needed to let everyone know about them. Taking some photos helped spread the word!
Thank you for writing this. We don’t limit screens in our house, but I’m wondering if your kids choose to be online mostly all day like mine do? When you said you found screens to be distracting, I feel that way too but for my kids. I feel like there are things they would like to do but get absorbed into passively watching YouTube. I don’t want to limit screens but I’m stuck between worrying that I would be taking away a valuable tool and how they want to spend their time, and worrying that they will not learn what they want to by getting distracted. What do you think?
Amy,
Screen time is such a complicated issue, isn’t it? Yes, we worry when our kids seem to be spending most of their days on their devices. Maybe there are other things we’d like our kids to do such as exercise. My kids did spend lots of time working on their laptops etc because these were their tools. My kids used to spend hours writing, and editing photos and videos, and researching, and doing other things. But they also joined in with family activities such as running and outings. They had offline interests such as taking photos and singing and training for foot races. And we talked a lot. My kids would tell me about their work and what they’d found out. If they watched any interesting movies, we’d discuss them.
I’ve thought a lot about distraction. Yes, the Internet can be distracting if it pulls us away from what we want to do. It can prevent us doing the things that are important to us. I experience this when I find myself browsing YouTube instead of writing. I know I’m wasting time. But YouTube could be where our kids are meant to be. They could be using it intentionally. My kids learnt a lot by watching YouTube videos. For example, my daughter Sophie used YouTube to research photography skills. My daughter Imogen used to watch gaming videos. She picked up a lot of creative ideas from watching Youtubers involved with their passions.
If you are concerned about distractions, could you get involved with your kids’ online activities? See what it is that’s attracting them to YouTube. Talk about what they’re enjoying and what they’re learning. Share their world. My kids loved it when I did this. I guess the big question is: do we think our kids are wasting their time? Are they doing anything valuable while they’re online? Are they being distracted by everything that’s going on online? Talking to our kids might reassure us that they are doing the things that are important to them. Or if they feel they’re not achieving their goals, maybe we can help them manage their devices themselves rather than limiting their screen time.
In our Stories of an Unschooling Family community, we’ve just started discussing Nir Eyal’s book Indistractible. If you think a book discussion could be helpful, please feel free to join us.
https://stories-of-an-unschooling-family.mn.co/
It’s been good chatting with you!