I’m delighted to welcome Janelle and her family to my blog! After sending out a plea for help, Janelle contacted me, saying:
I believe we have somewhat always been unschoolers or lifeschoolers under the guise of eclectic homeschooling. As our children aged, I thought education or learning should become more rigid or something but that has made them hate school. We are embarking on a whole new way of learning and living as we proceed on our way.
Janelle and her husband, Jay, will be sharing their stories regularly as their family gets on track!
I’m excited to invite others into our journey and share it with you. I want to get our family on the right track and help others who are starting out on this journey or struggling to find the right fit for their family. We desire to have children be able to learn their own way and according to who God made them to be.
Our School Experiences
My husband and I both went to public school and state college and trade school. My husband hated it, and I loved it but truly as I grow older, I’m not sure I truly loved it or just went along with the program because it was easy. Don’t get me wrong, I had some struggles, but I could go with the program.
When our oldest child was 5, I knew that I would not send him to school. He loved being outside, doing art projects, being with grandparents, and pets and we had the best times just sitting on the couch and reading books. By age 6, he did go to a private Christian school with his sisters being in preschool for 1 year. I had just had our 5th baby 4 months prior, and my 3-year-old needed me too so the time away 2 to 3 days a week was ok. The private school was only 3 days a week, had multiple grades in one room, 6 or 7 children in his room with his Sunday school teacher was the classroom teacher. It was as ideal as it could be in a school in our area for us at the time. The next year we started homeschooling.
The Last Thing I Thought I’d Do
Homeschooling was the last thing I ever thought I would do; however, my husband encouraged the idea of homeschooling all along. When I was growing up, homeschooling was not common and the 1 family locally that homeschooled were ridiculed for it. However, when I knew my children and thought about sending them off to school that became the last thing I wanted to do. My husband was all for homeschooling, so we began the journey of finding the best curriculum and a how to keep everything about our days that we loved still going.
Are We Doing Enough?
My hope was for us to thrive as a family. I wanted to spend time with my children, be available to help on the farm and for the children to play and explore. However, I did assume they needed “school”. At the beginning it was pretty free learning but there was some structured time which was ok, but I still questioned if it was enough. I wondered if they were learning enough. I also played the comparison game.
At this point in time, we lived on a farm in Minnesota. My husband worked with his father and brother on the family farm. My kids loved being outside, playing together and had the best imaginary play. We had animals, swing set, playhouse, sand box, bikes, 3-wheeler, snow mobile and woods! They had so much to do. We also lived close to both sets of grandparents and cousins. They have fond memories from this period in time. We had chickens (we had these from the beginning of farm life), dogs, and cats. Eventually we added beef cattle, pigs, and sheep. We did do some curriculum, but it was pretty light and most of their time was free to explore. This was the farm life they had from birth to ages almost 10, 8, 8, 7 and 4.
Public Charter School
In 2017, we made a major decision to leave the family farm, sell most of material possessions and move to Arizona. The plan was to continue to homeschool, but we didn’t really meet any children in the neighborhood. We made the decision to send them to a public charter school that taught with a Classical/Charlotte Mason style which they were used to. The transition was quite smooth however now we didn’t see them much during the week and city life was much different. There eventually were children to play with in the neighborhood, they had bikes, community pool and little park. After a year and a half, we decided to bring them back home. Tucson also had at least 2 large homeschool co-ops for homeschooling families. The co-op offered many different classes and opportunities and most importantly, fellowship for the moms and families. The school experience was a positive experience and memory for the children, however; it did cause our family to separate more into individuals than as a family unit. We didn’t seem as much as a team anymore, the children realized grade levels, had their own friends and our family had just changed. I know that is not necessarily a negative but at their ages (10, 11, 11, and 7) at the time it seemed too soon.
Killing Their Love of Learning
When we started homeschooling again, it was still a lot like when we started homeschooling on the farm in Minnesota. Honestly, it was all pretty good until in 2021, when we moved to Alabama. Now at this point, both of my parents had died, the whole Covid event happened, and it was a hard time of life in the world. It has been hard to find community here for a variety of reasons. Now, some of that has improved but school has been a drudgery. Our hopes for this community were enjoying small town life vs city living, more common morals and values, freedom for the children to wander and fellowship in our home or co-op. Once my oldest entered 8th grade I became fearful and really thinking I needed a strict curriculum and schedule to meet the requirements. I killed their love for learning almost anything.
Bringing Joy Back into Our Home
We have some struggles, but we also have great strengths. We have a love for art, fishing, baking, crafting, music, ham radio, animals, movies, games and being outside. I could add more things I’m sure but that is some to name a few. With all these interests along learning of life skills, it makes the curriculum of “required subjects” seem burdensome so we need to be free and creative with how we fulfill those areas. The oldest 3 also have jobs.
So here we are, starting new but the adjustment seems like kind of a hard shift. Our grade levels at this point are 10th/11th grade, 9th, 9th grade, 7th/8th grade, and 5th grade. We want to bring joy back into our home and education. We want to help the children realize their dreams and hope to get them to a point of kind of having their own businesses or whatever God has planned for them.
Connecting with Others
We want to embark on this journey with local and online community. We are making connections, learning, growing and hoping to help others along the way. We’d love to connect with anyone who has any questions or insights. We still have a long way to go and a lot to learn but believe that together and with God we can make a better environment for our children and others!
Photos
These photos of tracks, woods and a mug of tea are by Annie Spratt, Unsplash
Instagram and Facebook
Please follow Janelle on Instagram and on Facebook.
So, What Do You Think?
Can you relate to Janelle’s homeschooling story? Do you ever wonder if your kids are learning enough? Perhaps you play the comparison game? Has the joy seeped out of your family’s life because of the pressures of education? Do you also need to get back on track? Or have you already found what is right for your family, what brings you peace?
Please stop by to say hello to Janelle. If you have any questions for her, please leave a comment.
And if you’d also like to write a guest post for my blog, please contact me.
You could share your homeschooling journey like Janelle.
Or how about writing a typical unschool day post?
Would you like to write about your reasons for unschooling?
Or your fears and difficult days?
What about the joys of living this way of life?
What have you learnt since choosing to unschool?
Or you may have lots of writing ideas of your own!
Dear Sue,
I love the idea of introducing homeschooling families on your blog as a next step after sharing with us for years your woderfull stories, thanks so much for this again. I am sure this new post will be a beginning of a new amazing project.
Thanks to Hvidsten family for sharing their story and beiing honest about the strugles they had to overcome through the years. It is so reasuring to see the process with its up’s and down’s. One is relieved to see it is ok if life doesn’t always go as in a storybook about perfect family all the time.
All the best to both of you
Markéta
Marketa,
I’m glad you like the idea of guest contributions. Yes, this could be the beginning of an amazing project.
I agree: other people’s stories can be reassuring. We’re not alone: we all experience ups and downs.
Janelle and Jay plan to write more posts for my blog. Hopefully, they’ll be regular contributors. I can’t wait to see what they share next!
Thank you so much for stopping by!
We are so happy to be able to share our story. The ups and downs challenge us to rely on God and grow and change to into the people we were created to be! I hope these contributions continue to bless you! I know we are encouraged by everyone reading and engaging with us on our journey.
I enjoyed reading Janelle’s story! It sounds like they were also a Charlotte Mason family, as we are. I haven’t begun unschooling yet, but am exploring it more and starting to move our days to a relaxed CM style vs the strict curriculum we were using before. I really struggling with letting go of the basics like math, writing and phonics. My children are not very academically inclined (at least not my middle three boys) so I worry for them. We also love baking, crafts, being outside, reading together and art. It is so nice hearing from larger, Christian unschooling families because most the the unschooling community seems to be secular, with one or two children, and it’s hard to relate to them.
Tania,
It helps to hear other families’ stories, doesn’t it? Although we are all different, often we share common experiences. We face the same problems and ask the same questions. By sharing, we can help and encourage each other and reduce the aloneness that parents often feel.
It can be very hard letting go of the basics such as maths. Perhaps you don’t have to at the moment. Just go slowly and do what you feel comfortable with. Take one step at a time. Later, if you find that requiring your kids do a certain amount of structured work is causing conflict or other problems, you can rethink what you’re doing. Reassess. Becoming comfortable with unschooling takes time. Also, our commitment to this way of life increases with time and understanding. So does our confidence!
Years ago, when we first encountered unschooling, I thought it was something that free-spirited hippie families did. We were rather conventional so I thought we wouldn’t fit into the unschooling world. But I’ve discovered unschooling and faith weave together naturally. Yes, it’s good to meet other Christian unschoolers.
And I’m glad to have met you, Tania. Thank you so much for stopping by!
Thank you for your kind reply, Sue. I only discovered your blog and podcast two months ago (while searching for unschooling and Charlotte Mason). I admit that I’ve always been adamantly against unschooling, but you have helped me to understand it much better and see it as something that could be doable for us. Right now I’ve found that relaxing my expectations around math has helped my children to enjoy the workbooks more, and they enjoy playing games and practicing online.
Could we still be called unschoolers if we have a morning time we spend together? We love our time singing, reading a variety of books, drawing or looking at art, or listening to audiobooks. It makes me so sad to think of giving that up so we can be called ‘unschoolers’.
Tania,
I’m so glad my posts have helped you understand unschooling better! On the surface, unschooling seems simple: just let kids do what they like, which sounds a bit frightening, doesn’t it? In reality, it’s much more complicated than that. It reflects life with its great depth. There’s always something else to learn about it!
I don’t think we should ever give up doing the things we enjoy. It doesn’t matter what other people think. If your morning times bring joy to you and your children keep doing them!
Maybe when we first start unschooling, we think we have to start from scratch. Stop doing what we’ve been doing and begin again in a more unschooling way. But I think it’s more helpful to only eliminate the things that aren’t working: the ones that cause conflict or don’t fulfil needs. Our family stopped doing these things gradually until we felt happy and at peace with our days.
Although we never used the words ‘morning time’, I did spend time with my kids each morning doing things together that we enjoyed or helping them in other ways. We had a pile of books we read together. We watched art documentaries and sang. Some of my kids loved drawing. So, we did similar things to you! My kids sometimes asked if we could do something together: ”Can you read to us please, Mum?” Sometimes I made suggestions: “I’ve found a new art heist documentary. Shall we watch it?” Other times, my children had their own plans: “I’m going to practise the piano and then write a blog post.”
Maybe morning times aren’t a problem unless they become full of things we expect our kids to do each day. It’s enjoyable to learn together when everyone is interested, isn’t it? And having a few planned things like read aloud times can give us a starting point each day. As long as we’re willing to let go of our regular activities if they lose their appeal or stop fulfilling needs or when different learning opportunities or adventures arrive, then morning times can be good!
I hope that helps!
Thank so much
Thank you Sue for your reply. I often hear unschoolers say you have to drop everything and ‘deschool’ for a while, but I find that when our days have no structure everyone get chaotic and we don’t really do anything at all, except make messes. We really love our cozy reading times and singing, etc together and I find that brings us closer as a family too.