I was 58 on Christmas Day, 2019. If you do some real-life maths, you’ll soon work out how old I am today.
There have been times when I haven’t wanted to admit my age and wished to appear younger than I am. Why? Did I fear no one would like me if they heard I was older than they were? Perhaps I thought I had to be young to be accepted and valued.
But, bit by bit, I’ve come to terms with my age. I’m no longer afraid to declare how old I am. It’s hard work pretending to be who I’m not, but I’ve also realised that it’s important to accept where I am in life and not pretend to be younger for my children’s sake. They need to know that getting older is okay. It’s not something to fear. Life doesn’t turn sour as the years pass. We don’t become obsolete. We still have important work to do.
I sometimes say I will wear t-shirts one day, saying, I’m a wise and sparkly older woman. Wise: I’ve accepted my age, knowing I don’t have to appear younger to be happy. I can give up the struggle. Sparkly: I’m still involved with life, learning and growing, and hopefully exuding joy.
The other day, I noticed the hashtag ‘over60’ on Instagram. Thinking I could use it to attract a few followers who might be pondering ageing like me, I quickly looked at some of the posts with this label. Oh my, there were many photos of scantily dressed bodies provocatively posed! I guess those women want to say, “I might be older, and my body might not be what it used to be, but I still have the right to bare it. I’m still proud of it.”
Well, I don’t want to show off my ageing body. I didn’t want to display it when it was firmer and more attractive. But there is something I want to do: tell the truth about how old I am so I can encourage women who are frightened of losing their worth as their bodies wrinkle.
The other day, I exchanged a few messages with Sue Patterson from the Unschooling Mom to Mom website. Sue wrote:
I try to mention my age as often as possible. Probably not a great marketing move in our youth-focused society!! But I want women to know that life goes on! Even into our 60s – and beyond!
Sue is my hero, someone I admire. I’m pleased we share a name, and I’m glad I’ll be 63 tomorrow, just like her. For me, that’s a great delight.
The Wise and Sparkly Older Gang
Here’s the story of my wise and sparkly older woman t-shirt:
Embracing Midlife with an Unschooling Mindset
Recently, I joined Erin from Ever Learning, Hayley from Taking a Kinder Path and Missy from Let ‘em Go Barefoot to discuss midlife on the Virtual Kitchen Table podcast:
The middle-age years can be a challenging time but could they be full of promise and opportunity as well? We loved having Missy Willis of Let ‘em Go Barefoot and Sue Elvis of Stories of an Unschooling Family chat with us about midlife and what the possibilities are if we approach this life stage with an unschooling mindset. Please have a look at the Resources below to link directly to Missy’s essay that inspired the conversation and Sue’s latest unschooling book which challenges us not only with our children’s unschooling but with our own perspective. We hope you’ll enjoy our discussion.
Getting Older, Admitting One’s Age, Lines and Wrinkles.
Here’s a very early podcast about ageing. (This episode has a few minor audio wrinkles!) It’s an honest conversation about getting older:
This week I talk about ageing. Why do some of us find it so difficult to adjust to our changing appearance as we get older? Why do I find it difficult to admit my age? And what are my daughters learning from my attitude towards ageing? I ask my 13 year old daughter a few questions related to this topic.
Along the way, I speak about such things as leading by example, and how we will continue learning all our lives. Learning doesn’t stop because we get older… and of course, this is very exciting and much more important than wrinkles!
Towards the end of this episode, I interviewed my daughter, Sophie, who was 13 at the time. She answered some questions about ageing and appearance, what makes us valuable people, and how mothers can be a good example for their daughters. I hope you’ll listen!
Another unschooling, acceptance , example and ageing story:
Images
I think my daughter, Sophie, took these photos of me on Christmas Day, 2019, when I was 58.
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My Unschooling Books
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So, what do you think?
How do you feel about getting older? Do you worry about being accepted and valued as you accumulate wrinkles? Or are you embracing each stage of your life, unconcerned about numbers and appearance?
And do you want to join my wise and sparkly older gang?
