I choose the photos I share online with care, looking for ones with good, flattering light. I also need my photo smile to be just right.
Sometimes, my smile looks a bit goofy because of my overbite. I reject these images, wanting to hide my imperfection, though it’s not my fault my teeth are like this. It’s just the way I am.
I wonder: what if I let my overbite smile shine bright? I could post myself from all angles in all lights, show the me that you would see if we were face-to-face friends. Will you think of me differently? Or wouldn’t you even notice my strange smile? Let’s say it does catch your attention. Or maybe I decide to bring it up (like today). Can good result from admitting our insecurities? Instead of letting everyone think we’re perfect, does being honest permit others to relax and be themselves as well?
We don’t need to look perfect. No one cares what we look like. We’re loved regardless. I know that, but somehow, I’ve got caught up in projecting a particular image. As well as hiding my teeth, I’ve been trying to hide my age.
The other day, I noticed some new creases on my arms. I smoothed them away with my fingers, tensing my arm. The wrinkles returned when I relaxed. I wondered what I was going to do.
Deciding it’s impractical never to relax my ageing arms or always cover them up, I decided I’d have to embrace them and deal with my ageing appearance. I’ve been trying to deal with it for a long time. Acceptance is a step-by-step process.
I’ve written a lot of stories exploring ageing from different angles. Recently, I had a new thought:
Have I been trying to appear younger – by choosing photos carefully – so I can compete with the many younger people who are also sharing unschooling? Am I trying to convince everyone I’m still on top of my game, relevant, vibrant, exciting, and engaging? Am I trying to do what I’ve done for years, desperate for success and recognition, which is starting to slip?
If I’d like to continue helping people, perhaps it’s time to stop, consider the skills I’ve gained as I’ve aged, and adjust how I contribute to the unschooling conversation.
My Blog and Podcast Archives
I think all my work over the past years is still valuable. If you dip into my blog or podcast archives, you’ll find many useful posts: stories that illustrate unschooling, resources we enjoyed, tips for homeschool record keeping, and answers to questions such as ‘What is unschooling?’ and ‘How will I know if it works?’ There are thoughts to ponder on tired days or when someone criticises or doubts arrive or you’re wondering if your kids will learn maths without a workbook. I have probably written a story for every situation.
I dip into my archive regularly, grab a few posts I wrote when I was younger and in the middle of unschooling my kids, and bring them out into the light. “You might like…” I say, hoping to share something helpful from the past. There’s value in doing this. But is there something additional I can do? Do I have something to offer that I never used to have?
Could I have gained new skills by ageing? I’ve been pondering this question.
The Ladies Fixing the World
Recently, chatting to Sandra Dodd and Cecilie Conrad as we prepared to record a podcast episode together, I said, “I remember how nervous I used to get before Zoom discussions and interviews.” I’d wonder if I could answer people’s questions or contribute intelligently to a conversation that might head in an unexpected direction. These days, I’m relaxed. I enjoy getting together online with others to ponder unschooling, not knowing where we’ll end up. The only thing I’m nervous about is my sometimes unreliable Internet connection.
Sandra Dodd, Cecilie Conrad and me? What are we doing online together? Well, Cecilie invited Sandra and me to join her to record season 2 of her The Ladies Fixing the World podcast. So far, we’ve recorded four episodes, with another planned before the end of the year. We’ll be recording more episodes together during 2025. Cecilie will publish the first episode of Season 2 of The Ladies Fixing the World in January.
My Podcast
So, I’m podcasting again, though not on my podcast. I sometimes wonder if I should return to my Stories of an Unschooling Family podcast to make more episodes, but I don’t want to create more of the same. I can’t do that anymore. But can I do something different with my podcast? Having a co-host might change things up. That’s as far as I’ve got with that idea.
Virtual Kitchen Table
I love having online unschooling conversations and sharing stories and ideas about a topic. In addition to contributing to Cecilie’s podcast, I’m fortunate to be a regular guest on the Virtual Kitchen Table podcast.
Christian Unschooling
And I’ve been hosting Christian unschooling Zoom discussions with Erin.
Some Unschooling Zoom Chats?
In a recent blog post, I proposed hosting some unschooling Zoom chats on my own. I received no response, so maybe that wasn’t a good idea.
Reassurance
So, I can talk coherently as I quickly search for relevant stories and ideas, find connections, and dive deeper into unschooling than was possible a few years ago. But do I have any other skills? What else can I offer as an older unschooler? How about reassurance?
Can I reassure parents that unschooling results in perfect kids? Now that all my children are adults, I could say, “It’ll all work out! Your kids will never face problems if only you unschool. Just look at my family!”
No, I can’t offer that reassurance. Unfortunately, unschoolers, like everyone else, will face challenges. That’s just the way things are. But, as an older unschooler, I can reassure you by saying, “Unschool anyway. You won’t regret it. Unschooling is about love. We’ll never regret loving. It’s what we’re called to do.”
Love
I suppose that’s another thing I do now that I’m older. I write about love. And as I age further, I think my love stories can only improve. As the years go by, we understand love better, don’t we? We realise that there’s nothing more important than love.
Older Unschoolers
So, older unschoolers have a unique place in this sharing world where we help and encourage one another. I know some fabulous older people who are doing invaluable work. There’s Sandra Dodd and Sue Patterson. And Erin. Her children are all adults, though she is younger than me!
And how about a 63-year-old unschooler with a goofy smile and wrinkly arms?
You might want to follow all the vibrant, excited, younger unschoolers who are in the middle of the action. I’d recommend doing that. But do you need to follow an older unschooler, too?
Unschool Books
You could check out my books, Curious Unschoolers, Radical Unschool Love and The Unschool Challenge. I might have grown older, but my books are not out of date.
A while back, I returned to Instagram. My account, stories_ofan_unschoolingfamily, is now private to protect my family, but if you’re interested in unschooling, you’re welcome to follow it.
Private Stories
As well as my private IG account, I have lots of private family stories that you could read. If you’d like access to them, please let me know. Maybe you’d like to buy me a coffee in exchange for the password.
What do you think?
Do you have any favourite older unschoolers? Do they have something unique to offer you because of their age? How are they helping or encouraging you as you unschool?
Why not stop by and share your thoughts?
I often think of the seasoned mommas who guided my journey. Those who challenged me to love more, to worry less. The moms whose youngest children were as old as my oldest children. They taught me so much and made me a better mom. I’m smiling now as I type – and am grateful ♥️
Beate,
Your words make me smile too!
I never experienced the friendship of an older woman as my kids were growing up. I had plenty of friends my age but no one older and wiser, who could offer me guidance. I’m an older sister, so I don’t have a sibling to look up to either. Your words about seasoned mothers tug at my heart. I’d have loved that kind of friendship. But maybe I can offer it to someone else. 🩵🩷
Oh, I agree with Beate’s comment about “seasoned mommas who guided” our journeys, including you, Sue! SO very grateful for all of you! I can only hope I will be one of those especially to my own children as they begin to parent and teach in the near future.
Staci,
Never having experienced the joy of being guided by a seasoned momma, I sometimes wonder if I know how to be a good friend for younger women. But regardless of my lack of experience, my heart yearns to share all the important things that I’ve discovered like the value of love. Maybe that’s enough. I love my friends who encourage me and love me in return. Thank you for your kind words! xx