Do You Need to Follow an Older Unschooler? (Part 1)

Our fluid intelligence – our ability to focus and problem solve – will inevitably decline as we age. Listening to Arthur C. Brooks say this during a YouTube interview, I instantly protested, “No!”

What if I keep my brain active by playing lots of video games? I could practise my memory skills. Maybe if I stay interested in everything, look after my health, and keep fit, I can avoid mental decline. I can be the person I was at 30 when I’m 80.

I read Brooks’ book From Strength to Strength: Finding Strength, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life and discovered that we could try to remain the same despite ageing, putting in more effort to compete with those people coming along behind us, but we won’t be happy. We won’t be at peace. We also won’t be successful however much we strive.

So, do we accept ageing as it arrives and be grateful for who we used to be? Perhaps we should slip gracefully into old age when our prime time is over, recognising we’ve done our bit. Now, it’s time to fade away.

You know what? I hate that idea. And this isn’t what Brooks is suggesting. He has a much brighter picture of our later years. We can be happy and productive if we’re willing to stop competing with those in our fields who are younger than us and embrace our new skill sets. We could have a place in the world that younger people can’t fill.

Our mental capabilities in some areas might decline as we age, but we become stronger in other ways. Our crystallised intelligence increases as our fluid intelligence decreases. Older people might not have the same analytical minds they had when they were younger, but they do have vast reservoirs of knowledge and are skilled at using them. They have wisdom.

So, how does this apply to me? 

Recently, I counted my followers and supporters and concluded that I’m unsuccessfully competing with younger unschoolers who are blogging, podcasting, and sharing via social media, which is a bit disheartening. What do I do? After reading From Strength to Strength, I know that trying harder isn’t the answer. Even if I put in a lot more work, I can’t provide the same things as the more successful younger unschoolers.

Parents need the friendship of others in the same stage of life as them. I remember the joy and value of having friends with similar-aged kids. We had great empathy for each other as we shared stories, thoughts and ideas about the situations that we were both experiencing. 

I still have plenty of empathy and experience, but I can’t share them with the same intensity as I did a few years ago. Most of my unschooling story is behind me.

But what if I have something different to offer that I didn’t have when I was younger and in the thick of unschooling my kids? I could have valuable new skills that I could use if I pivot a little, changing my focus as I share unschooling online.

Instead of giving up and disappearing, can I say, “Connect with unschoolers who are in the same stage of life as you, but follow an older unschooler (like me), too”?

I’m going to explore this topic further in a series of short posts. Will you follow along? We will all age and face the dilemma of adjusting to a later stage of life, so perhaps my thoughts are relevant to everyone.

What do you think?

Image

A carefully chosen photo of me taken in just the right light by my husband Andy.