16 November 2019

I’m feeling discouraged.

I wonder: why am I doing this? Why am I blogging and podcasting? I know the answer: I want to spread the word about unschooling. I want to pass on what I’ve learnt. Tell others about the joys of living this way of life. I especially want to give hope to families who are struggling with homeschooling and parenting. There’s a better way.

But am I sharing the unschooling message successfully? Sometimes it’s hard to know.

The other day, my husband Andy was online, checking our bank balance. I asked him to look at my book sales.

“How much money have I earned?”

“Not much.”

That news was discouraging. Why haven’t I sold many copies of my books Curious Unschoolers and Radical Unschool Love?

I believe in my books. They’re well written. They are stories about real people which show unschooling in action. I share my thought processes. I invite the reader to ponder with me. All my reviews have been excellent. But there aren’t that many of them. I wonder why.

Why aren’t my unschooling books a huge success? Why aren’t I successful?

Is it important that we feel successful? Yes.

Sometimes people say that even if only one person is helped by our work, then we’ve been successful. Also, we’ll never know all the people we have helped. That’s true. But it’s no longer enough. There is already enough info on my blog to help anyone who stops by. If I continue on, I want to feel successful for my own sake. I want to know I’m spending my time in a useful way. That what I’m doing is making a difference.

Apart from personal satisfaction, there’s a very practical reason why I need success. Sadly, it’s all to do with money. It’s expensive to blog and podcast. Equipment, software, hosting fees and other things that are needed cost money. I’ve spent a lot of money over the years, family money which my husband Andy earns. Andy has never complained about having to support my unschooling work financially. But it’s bothering me. I’ve got to the stage where I really need to cover my costs.

You might remember that last year I tried using Patreon to support my podcast. Although a few people became patrons – I’m very grateful for their generosity – this wasn’t one of my more successful ideas. Not many people were willing to pledge even a dollar a month. Is my podcast not worth supporting? Is it not worth a dollar a month? Or is it not realistic to ask for money for something that can be listened to for free?

Last year, I did a blog/podcast survey and a few people commented that they didn’t feel able to become Patreon patrons, but they’d be happy to buy a copy of my book when it was published. I was pleased to hear this. I thought that if everyone I’d helped bought a copy of one of my books, I’d have no trouble meeting my blogging and podcasting costs.

But as I said, book sales are down. The initial interest in Curious Unschoolers and Radical Unschool Love has trickled away. I’m back to the question: why? Is it just about money?

Reading blog posts is free. Asking questions that I might be able to answer is free. Buying a book isn’t.

Perhaps I’m just not promoting my books enough? Even though I’ve written and spoken about them a lot, could I be on the wrong platform? Maybe I need to use social media. Should I return to Instagram? I could give in. Go where everyone else is. Have a bigger online presence.

The other day, despite saying I was going to delete my Instagram account, I signed into my account and posted a photo. And I got a huge welcome back. There are so many beautiful and encouraging people on Instagram. Many of them liked my photo and left comments. We had a proper conversation! And I thought, yes, I’ve made the right decision. This is where I need to be.

The next day, feeling encouraged by my Instagram success, I posted a second photo. But this time, there was little interest. Was it Instagram’s fault? Perhaps few of my followers had seen my post. Or was it my fault? Maybe what I’d posted wasn’t worthy of liking. There are some hugely popular unschoolers on Instagram so I concluded that the problem lies with me. Either I’m not saying anything very interesting or I’m not playing the algorithm game very well. Perhaps I need to use Instagram Stories or do live videos. Or maybe not. That’s a huge price for someone like me to pay.

I know I’ve helped a lot of people. I’ve received loads of kind messages and comments thanking me for what I do. I’m grateful for the friends I’ve made because of unschooling. I don’t want to wave all that away and say no one appreciates what I do. Because that’s not true. 

Being honest about what I’m thinking and feeling is risky. Perhaps people will think I’m complaining and ungrateful. Haven’t I noticed the kind reviews on Amazon of my books? They took time and effort to write. And how about the posts about my books on Instagram? And what about the comments full of enthusiasm and thanks for what I do? Yes, I have some wonderfully supportive friends. I couldn’t have come so far without them. They have helped me do any good work I have accomplished.

I know I’m going to end up feeling bad about this post. That’s how I felt when I announced I was no longer going to write email newsletters because of a lack of interest. I got discouraged because hardly anyone was opening the emails that had taken me a long time to write. I didn’t know if the newsletters were helpful because I rarely received any feedback about them. So I wrote my final newsletter and said I felt discouraged and defeated. Some kind readers replied thanking me for the newsletters and said they’d miss them, but they understood why I was no longer going to produce them. But after reading some of the other responses to my newsletter, I felt bad. I shouldn’t have complained. People get busy. There’s not always time to read emails, let alone respond to them. I was expecting too much. Keep writing, they said. But I didn’t.

When we blog or podcast, we freely offer our content to whoever wants to read or listen. There’s no obligation on anyone to give anything back. That’s just the nature of the game. I accept that. I knew that when I set out on this adventure many years ago. But I have received something back. I’ve been rewarded by the many friendships I’ve made because of sharing unschooling. And I’ve enjoyed the learning experiences that blogging and podcasting have presented. It’s been fun. But maybe that fun has drained away. Because if I still enjoyed doing this, wouldn’t I look at my unschooling work as a hobby, something worth paying for myself? It wouldn’t matter if anyone bought my books or not. I’d just continue on.

So maybe the answer isn’t trying to persuade more people to support me. You could check out my books! I’d appreciate a review if you liked my books! Could you please share the link? Could it just be time to let go of what I’ve been doing and move on? I’m not sure. I guess I’ll keep thinking about it. I’ll work it out.

These are just some of the thoughts that I shared in this week’s podcast: Discouraged.

In episode 164, I’m talking about:

  • How I’m feeling discouraged
  • The need to feel successful
  • A negative comment I received about technology and screentime
  • Letting go and moving on

I also share a story from my book, Radical Unschool Love, called The Beginning and End of Praise. 

Is it okay to praise our kids? Could praise be necessary, not only for our children but for us as well?

Show Notes

My Unschooling Books

Curious Unschoolers: Kindle

Curious Unschoolers: paperback

Radical Unschool Love: Kindle

Radical Unschool Love: paperback

My Amazon Author Page

Blog posts

A Gradual Approach to Unschooling

Is it Really Okay to Give Unschooling Kids Unlimited Access to Screens and the Internet?

Podcast

Episode 162: Asking for Help


Photos

My husband Andy always supports everything I do. He’s my number one fan. I’ve used these photos before. (You might have seen them on Unschoolgram or Instagram.) But I’m using them again because, for some strange reason, my computer is refusing to upload some new photos.

Thank you

Thank you for reading my post and listening to this week’s podcast. Please feel welcome to stop by and comment on anything I said. Have you ever felt discouraged with what you’re doing? Do you have family and friends who support your work? Perhaps you’d just like to say hello!

 

34 Comments Leave a Reply

  1. Sue,
    I’m sorry you’re feeling discouraged. I need to apologize for not letting you know more often how much I appreciate your work. Thank you for pouring yourself into so many people. I think you are amazing!
    Cricket

    • Cricket,

      Oh, please don’t apologise. I should be telling you how much I appreciate your support. You are such an encouraging and helpful friend. I haven’t forgotten how you responded to my request for guest podcasters. Your contribution made my episode very special.

      I’m not feeling discouraged anymore. Thank you!

  2. I hear you. Loud and clear. I had my own moment this week and wrote about it as well. Readers can talk all they want about the benefits of “helping others” and how the things we do might “make a difference” to a few people, but it’s a heck of a lot of work for little to no income – especially when we are spending our own money to make it all happen. I don’t like to sound crass about money, but most bloggers won’t discuss it because it sounds “bad” so I applaud you for doing so.

    It’s also bad for people to expect bloggers to continue to pour themselves out for free. No one makes us do it and it is our choice. But there comes a point when it’s like doing a job for free. No one else is going to work for free. But bloggers and podcasters and writers sure are expected to do so. If we aren’t willing to do so then we’re seen as selfish and greedy.

    I also think part of it is there is just too much stuff online. Too many sites, too many bloggers. And people are so overextended, stressed out, distracted, etc. that they often don’t have the bandwidth to interact with us. I do understand that as a reader of sites. But that doesn’t mean we should keep investing our time and money into blogging. Our individual lives have real needs as well, including financial.

    I probably shouldn’t say much more right now because it hits too close to home. I’m sitting here tonight trying to figure out what to do with my own site and all the free content and downloads I’ve created because I’m sick of giving it away for free.

    I have no answers for you. But I’m in a very, very similar place. Freakishly similar.

    Sallie

    • Sallie,

      I haven’t been feeling happy about things for a while, but it was only after reading your similar post that I had the courage to say something. It’s good to say what’s on our minds instead of pretending everything is okay, isn’t it? Keeping quiet only leads to resentment.

      Oh yes, money is a tricky topic. You are right: it can seem like we’re being mean and greedy if we’re not prepared to work for free. Of course, some people don’t think of writing and blogging and podcasting as work, but it is.

      Too much stuff online… I sometimes wonder if I’m needed. Another voice in the crowd. I hate the idea of shouting to get people’s attention. On the flip side, I enjoy the variety of blogs and podcasts that are available online and I’m guilty of not always showing my appreciation for the ones I read and listen to. Life does get busy and we don’t always have time to do what we’d like and what we should. Maybe I should concentrate on fewer things and then I’d have time to give to what is most important.

      The other thing I’ve been thinking about is how hard it is to go from offering what we produce for free to asking people to pay for it. I could make future podcasts for paid subscribers only, but would that alienate the people that I’d like to help? It’s no use putting a price on our work if everyone disppears and no longer wants to know about it. It’s complicated!

      Sallie, I hope you find some answers and can continue doing the work that helps other people and that you enjoy.

  3. Hi Sue. I found your podcast this summer. Your podcast has helped me to be brave and jump into unschooling. I heard of unschooling a long time ago and just thought it was to far from my personality to do. I am a mom of 4 ranging in age from 7 years old to 19, whom I have always homeschooled in a Charlotte Mason style. It has been hard to say the least with really disliking the relationship between my children and myself through these many years. I rediscovered unschooling on Karla Marie’s YouTube channel which taught me a lot but I still didn’t feel comfortable with unschooling. I read Karla Marie’s new book then another unschooling book from the library. I still couldn’t do it. Then Karla Marie mentioned you. I found gold! God has used your podcast to help me so much! In your podcast, I could see how amazing your relationships with your children are. That was the most important piece that I had been missing. Your podcast has given me the courage to try unschooling. I realize now I was looking for that piece for a long time. There are lots of ways for children to learn, most are not to fun or interesting, but having a loving and enjoyable relationship with our children is so important. Unschooling looks like a wonderful way for me to try with my children. I hope you do not delete your podcast and blog and YouTube channel. I know that it will take at least a year or more to go through all of your material. I also have bought both of your books and look forward to reading them soon. Thank you so much for all of your hard work and encouragement. I am sorry that I have not commented sooner but I really dislike writing and feel very uncomfortable expressing myself in writing. Thank you for sharing about your difficulties. I never realized how much work blogging and podcasting are or all the cost that go into it. I really appreciate all of your work and time but I understand if you do not pursue it anymore. We are always growing and changing. I have always thought most people are not meant to do the same career all their life. Most of us need change I would be willing to support your work through patreon if you are ever interested in trying that again. I will be praying for you to be successful in reaching a larger audience with your work. Unschooling is growing but many artist’s work is not appreciated until decades later. Thank you again and God bless you.

    • Jennifer,

      I appreciate your kind comment so much. Thank you for stopping by even though you don’t like expressing yourself in writing. Your words make me smile! They are very encouraging!

      Karla Marie is inspiring, isn’t she? How wonderful that she led you to my podcast and it has encouraged you to try unschooling. Yes, our relationships are important. I’ve been thinking about how they are the foundation for everything else.

      Thank you very much for buying my books. I hope you enjoy reading them. And thank you for saying you’d be willing to support me through Patreon if I ever go along that pathway again. That means a lot. I’m not sure what I’ll do long term but no doubt, things will work out. I’ll discover a way to support what I do. In the meantime, I have no plans to delete my blog, podcasts and videos. I’m glad you’re finding them helpful!

      I appreciate your prayers. May God bless and you and your family too. I hope you settle into unschooling without any problems. If you ever have any questions or just need some encouragement, please let me know!

  4. Sue, your books are wonderful, full of so much wisdom, experience and love. I’m re-reading Curious Unschoolers right now after devouring it the first time so quickly, I’m trying to slow down, to savour and enjoy all the gorgeousness it has to offer. A book review on Amazon coming up soon, apologies for not doing it sooner.

    You have certainly helped so many people and I’m so glad that you know that, your words and your influence are so powerful and are helping to support so many of us be better parents and better people every day. But as you say we all have lives and stuff going on, and sometimes we forget to share our appreciation and our gratitude for others, so for the record right here, right now I want to say thank you for all you do. And I’m truly wishing the financial rewards will catch up and reflect the great value of your work, and soon 🙂

    • Hayley,

      Thank you! You have always been such a kind friend to me. Really, it’s me that should be thanking you. Apart from your delightful comments and emails, I appreciate the transcriptions you did for me. They formed the basis of a few of my book stories.

      A book review will be wonderful when you have time. No hurry!

      Yes, we all get busy. I’ve been meaning to stop by your blog to comment on your last post about screen time. You always set out your thoughts so well. I hope you’re thinking about putting together your own book!

      Thank you so much for encouraging me. I hope all is well with you and your family!

  5. Hi Sue,
    I’m so sorry you are so discouraged. This is a time when I wish I could hop a plane and go hang out with you and talk it all through.? You are very right, time changes things. Once, it might have been enough to feel as though helping a few people was all that you needed. But now, you need more. That is perfectly reasonable. You have put in time, effort, talent and resources into your blog site, podcasts and books. If you are feeling that your efforts and financial output is not be appreciated, not a bit of wonder you are discouraged. That isn’t taking anything away from the people who love you and follow you. It’s not complaining or being unappreciative of your fans/friends. You have always been upfront and honest with your readers. You have shared your family, thoughts and ideas with us. I appreciative you’re honesty, even when the news is sad. We all understand, there are different seasons in life. Sometime change is necessary and it’s scary. What to do next is frightening. But you are a talented woman with so much to contribute. You don’t have to walk away from this forever, but maybe a break, by choice to explore other options, other talents, it might be just what you need. You don’t owe anybody an explanation, one way or the other. You have been a friend and mentor to many people you won’t ever meet in this life. Take the time for yourself Sue, without feeling the pressure to produce new content or answer questions. Maybe time to start answering some questions just for yourself and see what you want to do. Nothing set in stone, just taking a needed break. May God bless you and keep you always, may He direct your path and thank you Sue for sharing so much of yourself & your talents. You are one of the most giving, kind, loving people I know. God has all kinds of work for you still to do. I will be praying for you.?❤️?

    • Deb,

      I was worried that everyone would think I was complaining, but you and so many other people have been very kind and understanding. Thank you! It’s good to chat about how I’m feeling with my friends. Try and work things out.

      Life is full of change, isn’t it? We just get comfortable with one stage of life, and then things change. I suppose that could be exciting! I don’t know what’s ahead, but I have discovered something interesting: the more that people tell me it’s okay to move on, the more I’m wondering if that’s what I really want to do. Last week, I was convinced I wanted to do something else, and now I’m not so sure. Perhaps I just need a new unschooling adventure. Or a break. You are right: God will direct my path. I just need to pray and listen.

      Thank you very much for your prayers and friendship. May God bless you too!

  6. Hi. Sue! I understand how you feel! Hardly anyone ever buys my book now either – the one I wrote for Catholic Nursing Mothers League. However, I give a number of copies away through my ministry. And the few people who either bought my book or received it as a gift had good things to say so I feel like it was worth it. I personally love your books! I can’t believe you were able to come up with so many topics to discuss! My book is short and sweet, and I did not have anything else to say! I know this won’t help financially but you could consider thinking of your website and podcasts as a ministry. That has helped me with my breastfeeding work which I have almost exclusively done voluntarily. Or maybe look at other homeschool websites that sell things and get some ideas from them? For instance, Wild and Free has online magazines you can subscribe to. Sarah Mackenzie has the Read Aloud Revival. Bravewriter has a special mentoring group for homeschool moms. They all use monthly subscriptions. Or what about offering unschooling classes/mentoring for moms? Are your kindle books more popular than your in print books? I have found and discussed with another author that selling kindle books at low cost makes the most money. I still have not made my book into a kindle version but would like to some day. Try not to feel discouraged! You are a great writer and your books have helped me!

    Gina

    • I know a few people who have self-published books, and they have to promote them contantly on every platform possible. Actually, I know someone who has numerous books with a large publisher, but because of social media she is expected to do most of the promoting herself. She said she would love to opt-out of social media “because it is so draining,” but she really can’t. As you said, there is a price to pay. I have considered self-publishing a manuscript, but because my circle is small and I am not comfortable with self-promotion, I don’t think it would be worth it. It’s okay, though. I value my privacy, my freedom, and I don’t disregard the small, person-to-person good I can do in real life. I have to tell myself over and over not to seek affirmation from online relationships. They have value, but it is easy for me to use them as a substitute for real life ones. The world of social media is not pretty but so much depends on it if you want to “get ahead.” It’s not an easy culture to live in.
      Prayers for you, Sue,
      ♡ Kristyn

      • Kristyn,

        Oh yes, publishing a book isn’t just about writing. We need to promote our books too. That’s the bit I’m not very good at. I’d like to think that word of mouth will be enough. Someone will tell someone else… but that’s not realistic.

        The other week, I was listening to a podcast interview with a best-selling author who shared his method of success. He said he believed in his message so much that he was prepared to keep promoting his book until everyone heard about it. He said that most authors publish a book, do a little bit of promoting, and then start writing a new book. Even if their books are good, they don’t achieve real success. So I’ve been thinking about my books. I really do want to spread the message about unschooling. It’s important. So maybe I need to push myself out of my comfort zone and do whatever it takes to promote my work.

        After thinking about your comment, I decided to give Instagram another go. Perhaps I can look at social media in a different way. Instead of complaining that I’m overwhelmed and I don’t like how Instagram operates, I could look at social media as a challenge. I love challenges and working things out! Instead of stressing, I could have fun with different strategies. At the same time, I could enjoy connecting with other unschoolers and sharing ideas. I still want to continue blogging, though. Maybe link IG and my blog more closely. I shall see what I can do!

        If you ever decide to publish your manuscript, perhaps you can let me know. Maybe sharing ideas and experiences and resources is the way to go. Doing something alone is difficult, but together we could do amzing things!

        Thank you for your kind words and prayers. I will pray for you too!

    • Gina,

      I guess we have to go back to the reason that we wrote our books in the first place. We both want to share our knowledge and experiences and help people. It’s important to remember that, isn’t it? It’s just a pity that sometimes financial matters intrude on what we’re doing.

      I imagine many people were grateful to receive a copy of your book as a gift. Breastfeeding sounds so natural and easy to do, but many people need help and encouragement to persevere. You are involved with an important ministry.

      I have given away copies of my grief book. When people told me how much it helped them, I didn’t care about the money.

      Thank you for all your fabulous suggestions. Lots to investigate and think about! And thank you for buying copies of my books. It’s so good to know you like them!

      Gina, I’m no longer feeling discouraged. Thank you for lifting my spirits with your kind words. It’s always good to chat with you. God bless!

    • Sue, I still cannot find the courage to unschool but when I feel discouraged I come to you blog. I am not on social media and I prefer blog posts to podcasts. Yours is one of three blogs that I follow. Honestly, you are the only unschooler that I can relate to. I have not bought your books since I am scared of unschooling and because I am on a personal anticonsumerism / minimalist challenge. I now realize you need support and to show my appreciation for your blog will buy your books. You are a very unique voice in this online homeschool world. Thank you for being you and doing what you do!

      • Tamara,

        Unschooling is so different to what most people are doing, isn’t it? It can be frightening to go our own way. What if it doesn’t work out? What if we get criticised?

        I wonder if you are drawn to unschooling despite your fears. Perhaps it’s calling to your heart even though you haven’t got the courage to go down this pathway. Could you just need more time? Or maybe having some support and encouragement would make things easier?

        As you probably know, we never intended to become unschoolers. Our family arrived here after I slowly made changes to what we were doing, starting with the things that were causing us the most unhappiness. Could you adopt a gradual approach as well? You could go as slowly as you want. Uncomfortable ideas need time to ponder and absorb before putting into action. And that’s okay!

        Tamara, thank you so much for buying copies of my books. I really do appreciate your support. I hope that within the pages of my books you will discover something helpful. I’m always willing to chat if you ever have any questions or if you just need some encouragement.

        Today, you have encouraged me with your kind words. Thank you!

          • Tamara,

            That it is wonderful! I appreciate your support very much. I also hope that you find the books helpful. Perhaps they’ll encourage you to set out on your own unschooling adventure. Maybe you could let me know if you enjoy reading the books. And if you have any questions, I’m very happy to answer them for you!

    • Hi Sue,

      I recently found your podcast and I am loving your content! Your parenting style is inspiring and your daughters are creative, intelligent and beautiful. I really wish that I absorb your unschooling method with my own burgeoning family, as a young mother raised traditionally I have a lot of habits that need to adjust.

      I am buying your book, and on the topic of money you absolutely should be compensated for your work. Perhaps it’s time to dial down what you give for free, perhaps it’s time to consult individually with families on a per hour paid basis. The audiobook “You Need a Budget” helped with me spending when my income was low, and the blog “Mr Money Mustache forum” has both a post on hosting a blog for $4.95 a month on bluehost, and a post on how to make money from starting a blog. I encourage you to explore those resources.

      Much like your daughter Imogen has a day job and a creative job, on the topic of income perhaps look into finding a part time day job that you enjoy, while letting your creative job simmer in the digital sphere. My experience has shown me that success is a slow build process, taking 10-20 years to make it big. I have had success once, it appeared to come “out of nowhere” but I had been playing with those skills for 15 years and working very hard for 7 years when the big ticket recognition and income came in. I chose to move on to another sphere of industry, and am at the 12 year mark. I’ve seen bumps in success, and I am still waiting for the big one.

      You certainly have the content to make it big! My advice is to wait it out, be patient with your outer success and in the meantime do playful things that restore you. You sound burned out on putting content out as your job and getting little in return. Being self employed can result in these feeling.

      A final resource for you, and your readers/fellow self employed writers, “The Artists Way” and “The Prosperous Heart” audiobooks/books will help you spark your creativity and use your limited money in alignment with your creative values.

      Much hugs to you darling sweet woman!

      Jaclyn

      • Jaclyn,

        Your comment was full of helpful suggestions. And so many encouraging and beautiful words. Thank you! I have picked myself back up and will keep moving. Oh yes, success takes time. But when we have something important to share, something we believe in, I guess we just have to be patient. If we give up, our message will never be heard.

        I’m going to investigate all the books and resources you recommended. It was so kind of you to take the time to share them.

        I hope you enjoy my book and thank you for listening to my podcast. I appreciate the hugs too!

        It’s so good to chat with a fellow creative. Keep working towards your next ‘big one’. I hope it arrives soon!

  7. I’m so thankful for your work and your honesty, Sue. I bought both of your books because I do want to support your work and show appreciation for it. But knowing how little money you actually make from each book still makes the appreciation seem small. I am just not active enough on social media to be of much help in spreading the word about your work. I believe it is your honesty about the good and the bad and your humility that sets you apart from nearly everyone else I’ve encountered online. I wonder if these traits are also, in a way, keeping you from keeping up with everyone else. It is harder for people to find you perhaps, but when they do, they see how unique and appealing your writing is.

    I don’t want to just repeat what your other commenters have said, but I agree with them. Thank you for shedding light on the topic of blogging and podcasting for free. I have noticed over the past year or two that many, many people are moving toward subscriptions or special content for patrons. For me, because I read and listen to a variety of sources, when they all start offering these new things, although I’d like to support them all, it just feels like too much to do and keep track of. I don’t know if that’s being selfish or realistic. As Sallie said, “too many sites, too many bloggers.” You offer a unique perspective, that of a serious Christian (and Catholic) unschooler, but if people can’t sift through the many bloggers quickly enough, they just won’t find you as soon as you’d like them to.

    I will keep you in prayer and hope that something falls into place sooner than later for you. There is such a good feeling about earning our own money and being able to support ourselves. As a stay at home mom who generates no income for our family, I sometimes feel this way. I imagine that your husband values the work you do for your family to such an extent that perhaps supporting your work is a small price to pay. But I do understand your desire to feel successful and appreciated! God bless you and your family!

    • Emily,

      Sometimes being honest is risky. What will people think of me if they find out I’m not perfect, that I make mistakes, that there are times when life feels overwhelming and I want to run away… I used to worry about revealing too much. However, I found myself being honest anyway. And I discovered that there was nothing to be afraid of. Everyone has always been very kind and loving. People understand. I have felt so very blessed. Again, that’s how I’m feeling. With my current crisis, no one has made me feel bad. Everyone has offered empathy, thanks, suggestions, appreciation, prayers, love and encouragement. I’m feeling very grateful.

      Earning our own money… it’s strange how that can sometimes feel important even though Andy says his money is my money. I don’t really understand it. Then again, I see how proud my girls are of the money they earn. They work hard and so have money to spend on other people. Maybe money gives us the means to do good, to bring joy and help others. It means more because we earnt it ourselves.

      Emily, thank you so much for buying my books and writing such beautiful words. I will treasure them. They are worth much more than any money I could earn.

      May God bless you and your family too!

  8. Hi Sue, my sweet friend. I am so sorry you’re feeling discouraged. I don’t have much to add but just wanted to let you know I’m here reading every post and would love to help in any way I can. I hope joy finds it’s way back to you very soon- I know discouragement feels so terrible.

    • Lauren,

      I always love seeing your comments! Thank you so much for reading my posts and offering your help. Your help has already made a huge difference to me. You really do have a gift for making people feel loved and needed. Joy? There’s a huge smile on my face. Thank you!

  9. Sue, I always seem to be responding a bit after the fact – I read this a few days ago and there are a lot of good pieces to process so it takes me a while to get my thoughts together:). My guess is that after some of these lovely comments from readers, your discouragement may have lifted a bit but I can imagine that the issue still remains.

    A couple of things to come to my mind.

    Home educating families in general are typically doing with less, often due to managing on one income in a tough economy as well as sometimes paying out for opportunities or lessons that kids might otherwise get at school (sometimes) so they may be a bit less likely to spend. That’s still frustrating but I do think it’s a factor. On the other hand though, we tend to read a lot and value information so I do think book sales should be good from that perspective??

    Also, you’re not alone. I think this challenge goes beyond the online world. My husband and I have had a small business carrying creative games, toys and books for 14 years, mostly as retailers but also creating some of our own content. We have had a lot of wonderful times and connections but there is also a reality – most people (including some of those we knew well), waited for our half price sales or tried to get us to price match with big companies which we often did, but it really got to the point that it became very hard. We are still carrying some items but have shifted gears lately and are trying a new approach as it was difficult to sustain – it was busy, so lots of time spent with customers but hard to spend all that time serving, advising and delivering at dwindling profit. I get it, though. We all like sales and we often need to save money but it’s tricky for small businesses to keep up that amount of work.

    As far as hugely popular unschoolers on Instagram, that was funny for me to read because I think of you as very popular too!! And really, I think everyone has their own piece to share. Unschooling is for life so I always enjoy your posts about what your adult daughters and sons are doing or even just what you might be enjoying or learning yourself. As someone with teens and young adults myself now, I really appreciate exploring how this new stage looks and even just thinking about my own learning. I enjoy all the comments and food for thought on your blog (and I love your Storygram!). I think you’re very good at creating a thoughtful online community.

    Also, I think there’s still lots of future for your wonderful books. I keep dipping in and out of Curious Unschoolers, just recommended it to someone who was feeling a bit stuck and look forward to Radical Unschool Love soon. I picture myself reading it between Christmas and New Year’s with my quilt and hot chocolate:).

    • Erin,

      I like to ponder before commenting as well. Thank you for coming back!

      I am very sorry to hear that your family business profits are dwindling. Working hard for long hours so that you can give good service and then receiving little profit much be very tough. Your family money is being affected. I would like to earn some money so I can continue writing and speaking about unschooling, but it’s not essential I do this. My money is extra to that which my husband earns to support us. I’m not in such a difficult situation as you. I hope your new business approach is successful!

      Your words about popular Instagrammers made me smile! I was thinking about such people as Stark Raving Dad. He has about 7 times as many followers as me (I just did some real life unschool maths!) even though he joined Instagram after me. His posts always attarct dozens of comments. Also, he has a following on Patreon. This is good because he’s doing a fabulous job of promoting unschooling. But his success makes me wonder if my voice is needed. Perhaps people relate better to Stark Raving Dad because he has a young family. He’s there in the middle of things, whereas I’m on the way out. I know that different voices appeal to different people. Maybe there are just less unschoolers interested in following someone who has teens and young adult children.

      Talking of teens and young adults, it’s lovely you have some of these too! We can chat together about things we can both relate to. It’s good to hear you enjoy reading my blog posts and Unschoolgram (Storygram). I just posted a new Unschoolgram photo. A few days ago, after pondering everyone’s comments on this post, I returned to Instagram. I wondered if I’d continue posting on my Unschoolgram pages. But I think I will. My blog is where my heart is. Despite wanting to promote my books, I’m not really a social media person.

      I love the image of you reading Radical Unschool Love while drinking hot chocolate and keeping warm under a quilt. I hope you enjoy my book! Thank you for commenting and recommending my book. I appreciate it very much!

  10. Hey, Sue! Long time, no talk to. Have you used any book promotion sites like Book Gorilla or Robin Reads for your books? One great strategy would be to write up a 20-30 page book about some aspect of unschooling, and at the end of it, provide descriptions and links for your two books. Upload the small book to Draft 2 Digital or Smashwords, which will automatically distribute the books to places like Barnes and Noble and Kobo. Set the price for that mini-book for free. Once the distributor website accepts your book and gets it to the other websites, you upload it into Amazon. Price it at 99 cents. Then you get the link for your mini-book in the B and N Nook store and e-mail Amazon the link, asking them to match the free price.

    Amazon will very probably set the price for free. At this point, you can pay book promotion sites to promote your free book. You’ll get a bunch of downloads, and a fraction of those who download your free book will buy one or more of your paid books. You may or may not make a profit in the beginning, because most book promo sites are at least $30 per promo. But you may find by just having a freebie available, you’ll make more sales even if you don’t actively promote the freebie b/c people are always searching for free books. If the paid books are in the KDP Select program, people who subscribe to Kindle Unlimited can read your book for free, and you get paid something like a half cent per page read (USD). That doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s better than nothing.

    As for reviews, people tend to review fiction more than non-fiction, and even with fiction it’s 1 review per 100-200 sales or downloads! Try not to be discouraged by that. You have to really sell a lot of books to get a decent # of reviews.

    If I can help you any further with that, feel free to email me from my blog. I’m happy to help a fellow self-published author. 🙂

    • Emily,

      It’s so good to see you here on my blog! I appreciate all the info you’ve given me. I hadn’t even heard about Book Gorilla or Robin Reads. I shall be doing some further research!

      Yes, I could put together a mini-book about unschooling. That sounds like a good strategy that would be helpful to people but would also get the word out about my main books.

      Thank you so much for taking the time to share what you know. It’s very kind of you to offer further help.

      I hope your books are selling well. Not so long ago, I hopped over to your blog and caught up with your news. It sounds like you’re enjoying writing your fiction series. You’ve written a lot of books. Five books in one series! (I just checked that!)

      It’s been good to chat with you!

  11. Please don’t feel discouraged. I discovered your blog 2 days ago and I can’t sleep at night for pondering over what I’ve read. No kidding. We had to go to separate masses today as a family so I could have a nap during the day. I wish I’d found this 10 years ago but that was not God’s plan. I was also amazed you are not only in Australia but in NSW and a Catholic too. I feel the tug to homeschool. We did it once when our 17 year old was small, it seems like yesterday but he’s grown up and time is so short and family life feels robbed as I see everyone growing and my child bearing years coming to an end. I barely feel like we have had time to be a family. Your posts give me a new perspective on the idea of homeschooling. Even though we won’t be doing it as school begins again, it has put a new perspective on my parenting. I am very grateful.

    • Angela,

      You had to go to separate Masses because of my blog? Oh my, that made me smile though you probably wished you had enough energy to get up and go to church with the rest of your family!

      I’ve thought a lot about whether unschooling is just for homeschoolers or is it a way of life that we can all live regardless of education? Unconditional love, and forgiveness, and being willing to do what is right rather than what we like, and endeavouring to become the people we were created to be… these seem like things we can all do, don’t they?

      I was so delighted to receive your comment. I’m glad you stopped by. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words.

      I hope your new school term starts off well. (Maybe homeschooling will once again be in your plan further down the track. It’s amazing where God can lead us!)

      May a God bless you and your family!

      • Yes, I’m starting to try to live the idea of unschooling in our daily life even though the kids are at school. I’ve had several friends take up homeschooling again this year and we have been talking about the possibility again. I will start my 5 year old this year and we are open to the possibility that if others really aren’t coping or need a break that we could give them a year off and see how we go.

        Your Evernote posts were very helpful. I know the first time we homeschooled I completely overdid all the record keeping and burnt out. I can see it doesn’t need to be like that at all.

        Thanks, your blog is really helpful and very thought provoking. The Good Lord sent me here.

        By the way, my kids love Fr Tierney’s books. My grandfather was good friends with him. The daughter of the family he lives with taught my older children for a long time. She was an amazing teacher, they still talk about her!

        • Ange,

          How wonderful that your kids love Fr Jim’s books! Our family was privileged to read the drafts of a couple of the Bush Boys books while Fr was writing them. Also, my son Callum illustrated a Bush Boys book. It might have been New Boys in the Bush. I created a Bush Boys blog, but it’s been a very long time since I last wrote a post.

          Maybe Bridget was your children’s teacher. Yes, she is amazing!

          Being open to possibilities… that could be very exciting! If I can help you in any way, please let me know!

          • Yes, Brij was the teacher 🙂 She taught four of them for a combined total of ten years (composite K-2 class). Incredible!

            Thanks for the offer to help, I will keep it in mind if I have any questions. Much appreciated.
            I have just ordered two books you recommended, The Creed in Slow Motion and The Hidden Power of Kindness. It’s funny, when I read your post about unschooling and teaching the Faith, I realised we do the same thing, I was quite relieved, I felt like I must be getting something right! I have been looking for new books to read to the kids and these sound like they are up our alley.

            We have such a beautiful school here (you probably know of it, SMMC in Albury, started by homeschoolers and mostly populated by former homeschoolers), which is why I feel torn between the two. But it’s still a long day with a long bus trip and the rush in the morning and the evening. However, like you said, being open to possibilities could be very exciting and if I let Him (I’m pretty stubborn), God will lead the way.

            Thanks again, I have enjoyed your blog so, so much. God bless xxx

            • Ange,

              Yes, I have heard of SMMC. Some of my friends sent their children there. It sounds like an excellent school with caring teachers. I can see why you’re torn between school and homeschool! You know what? I’m a stubborn person too! But God is patient. Yes, let Him lead you the best way for your family.

              I’m about to reread The Hidden Power of Kindness. I hope you enjoy this book and The Creed in Slow Motion. Ronald Knox is a very witty writer.

              Thank you for your kind feedback about my blog. May God bless you you too!

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