I’m lying on my bed thinking about ageing when my daughter Sophie appears. “I thought I’d come and have a chat with you before I go to bed,” she says as she curls up alongside me.
“I’ve been mulling over an idea for a podcast,” I say. “Can I tell you about it?” Sophie nods so I continue: “I’m going to talk about ageing. It seems like an appropriate topic because my birthday isn’t far away.”
I tell Sophie how I don’t mind getting older. Yes, I’ve had a lot of birthdays, but I like being who I am. I’m fit and active and I’m still learning. I’m surrounded by beautiful people. Life is good. It’s exciting. The only downside is my ageing appearance.
“Because I have wrinkles and crinkles, everyone looks at me and then classifies me as ‘older’,” I tell Sophie. “And that’s a problem because older people aren’t valued. What if people younger than me think that I haven’t got anything worthwhile to say or offer? Getting older would be far easier if our society valued age. I wonder why it doesn’t.”
“The problem starts with older people,” says Sophie. “They don’t respect younger people. They’re quick to criticise and put us down. They’re not really interested in what we’re doing or thinking. They don’t realise that life is hard for us sometimes and they dismiss our concerns by saying such things as ‘You’re young! What have you got to complain about?’ How can we respect older people if they don’t respect us?” Sophie is speaking from experience.
Older and younger people respecting each other. Mutual respect. I’m thinking about unschooling. If everyone lived an unschooling way of life, would the problems associated with ageing disappear? Would we live in a world where it isn’t shameful to look older? Would all wrinkles and crinkles and other signs of an ageing appearance not bother us because we’d know that there is something far more important: Being respected for our wisdom and experience. Yes, everyone, regardless of age, would feel like a valuable and important member of society.
In this week’s podcast, episode 125, Connecting Unschooling and Ageing, I expand on the conversation I had with Sophie. I also share some stories including one about Ian, a remarkable older friend. Yes, not all older people lack respect for those younger than themselves. Some touch children’s lives in very special ways, generously sharing their talents and encouragement. I think you’re going to like Ian’s story. I hope you will listen!
Show Notes
Blog Posts about Ageing
Ashamed of Being Ashamed of Looking Older
Patreon
My Stories of an Unschooling Family Patreon page
stories_ofan_unschoolingfamily
Thank you for listening to this episode. If you enjoy my podcast, please consider sharing the link so we can spread the word about unschooling.
So how do you feel about getting older? Are you looking forward to the new pleasures associated with a different phase of life? I wonder if you also know some extraordinary older people who are making a difference to children’s lives.
I think it is easy to feel uncomfortable about your age at any age. I remember being a young mother and feeling uncomfortable that I was young and lived in an apartment. Somebody once yelled across our apartment parking lot, “aren’t you a little young for that?” as a 24 year old me held a newborn baby and went to get the mail. Now that I am 40 I can begin to see how it is to feel older. I have a three year old and am older than some other mothers of 3 year olds. I think you are right that maybe older people are experiencing fear. It doesn’t feel like the retirement years are as secure for many as they were a short time ago. People are expected to work into old age. They seem too tired to enjoy being grandparents. I think people in general are less connected than we should be.
Venisa,
People can be so rude. I’m sorry to hear you weren’t respected by your neighbour when you were a younger mother. Wouldn’t it be nice if people were supportive and encouraging rather than judgemental?
Oh yes, getting older is difficult for a lot of people. Less connected? You are right. I’m so glad I’m connected to my kids!
Thanks for listening to my podcast!
I just wanted to pop in I know it’s been awhile. Life got so busy and I fell into the too busy trap. I’m so thankful you’ve kept your blog up as I have been diving into old posts lately just clicking away at suggestions. I just want you to know it helped renew my love for unschooling and remind myself to slow down. I think being on the go this year has taken its toll and I burnt out. It’s hard to stay away from all the things. Just wanted to say thank you for in a way being there like a warm hug with your posts.
Alissa,
I’ve missed you! I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling burnt out. Life is difficult at times, isn’t it? Sometimes it helps to chat with a friend. Even though I’m too far away to be that kind of friend for you, I’m glad we can connect here on my blog. I wish I could give you a real hug. Thank you so much for your kind words and for stopping by! xxx
I REALLY loved this episode Sue. Your honesty in sharing your thoughts of ageing is so refreshing and very true for many of us. I feel that I love getting older, but that reflection in the mirror makes me feel otherwise. Sophie’s thoughts were interesting too and completely make sense – we as the adults are largely responsible for how the “younger generation” act. It definitely starts with us.
Your story about Ian was so touching. What a blessing to have such a person in your life and those of your children. What a marvellous example. It is easy to feel that there are no people like that in the world anymore, I hope there still are.
In regards to contributing, we don’t unschool anymore, but I would still be happy to contribute something else relating to homeschooling and family life. Maybe something about sharing creativity with your children? Perhaps you want to just keep the unschooling focus, and that is fine too.
Kelly,
I’m so glad you can relate to what I said in this podcast. I did wonder if everyone would think I’m a crazy older woman! And I’m glad you liked Ian’s story. Yes, he was a real blessing in our lives.
I would LOVE you to record something for my podcast. Thank you for your offer. Sharing creativity with our children? That will be perfect! I can’t wait to hear what you have to say.
As a musician and an older woman your podcast touched me deeply in all areas. Thankyou for being so you! Your stories are so warm and touching.
I asked Miles if he would like to contribute to your podcast but he is a little shy, and stuck for ideas. Any angle you would like me to try? If we had some suggestions he might warm to it 🙂 What about something about OCD and unschooling from Aiden?
Warm hugs, xo Jazzy Jack PS thanks so much for your emails. I am making my way towards answering them!
Jack,
It’s so good to see you on my blog. I’ve been thinking a lot about you. There’s no hurry to answer my emails. You will write replies at the perfect time.
I’m glad you can relate to my ageing thoughts. We are at a similar stage of life (you’re a little bit younger than me!), and it’s good to have a friend who understands. Thank you.
I would love to have a podcast contribution from either of your boys or both, but I know recording something can be a bit intimidating. And yes, what do they talk about? Often I get stuck for a topic and my words dry up. But when I’m speaking about something I’m passionate about, I have no trouble at all. I remember how Miles enjoyed writing the two guest posts for me because he was excited by the topic. Is there something similar that makes his eyes light up? A typical day post would be a lot of fun. OCD and unschooling would be very interesting and helpful too.
Perhaps you, Miles and Aiden could record something together? Or you could ask them some questions and then record their answers? A guided conversation, perhaps. I don’t want to make life difficult by asking you to do something you don’t feel able to do at the moment. But if you would like to contribute, that would be wonderful!
It’s been good chatting with you!
I so enjoy listening to all your podcasts, Sue, and I love your openness and honesty in a world when so many people are obsessed with external appearances.
When I worked in a nursing home many years ago, I began to learn to look past people’s external appearances to see what’s more important – who the residents were on the inside. I agree though with Sophie, it is hard to respect our elders when they don’t respect and/or look down on us.
I am wanting to become a patron of yours but my husband still only has 2 days a week work so we keep praying he’ll find a full time job soon. I’ve also been thinking about recording a contribution for your podcast and had the same thoughts that your friend had about only being a ‘newbie’ unschooler. You are right though, we all have interesting stories to tell about our journeys to where we are now which can encourage others.
My 2 girls and I are in our 4th year of homeschooling but it’s been a gradual transition to unschooling. I can think of lots of interesting topics so choosing what to talk about could be as challenging as recording it! We may need to move house again in the coming weeks so it would be a while before I could record anything though.
Alison,
The other night I told my family I was no longer going to blog or podcast. I felt discouraged. Then your comment arrived. Your kind words picked me up and I was able to get moving again. I’ve just published this week’s podcast. Without you, there wouldn’t have been an episode. I’m not exaggerating! So thank you for taking the time to comment, for being a faithful listener, for wanting to support me, and for being a friend.
I am so touched that you’d become a patron if your could. Even though your husband isn’t in full time work, you are thinking about me. That is so kind of you. I do hope your husband finds work very soon. I shall keep you all in my prayers.
I would love you to be a guest podcaster when the time is right for you. You can think of lots of interesting topics to talk about? That’s wonderful! You can be a regular guest on my podcast!
If you need to move, I hope it’s not long before you are settled into a new home.Thank you so much for stopping by!