A few days ago, in my Stories of an Unschooling Family community, I posted these thoughts:
A parent does her best to give her child a good education but should concentrating on academic success be her main focus? Perhaps a parent’s most important task is to teach a child about love.
Intelligence and academic achievements are highly regarded by the world. And I value them too. Our intelligence was given to us by God. But using our intelligence without the guiding light of love is not enough. All our achievements mean nothing without love.
There are many people who the world regards as highly intelligent. They’ve been labelled as great thinkers. They are admired, honoured, respected by their peers and the world. But with all their great thinking skills, many of them haven’t thought their way to God.
Are these the people we want as role models for our kids? Do we turn to them for the answer when considering our educational options? Or are there other people we feel are better examples for our children? Do we look to people like Mother Teresa who was so full of love but never achieved academic honours?
Maybe true thinking skills come from the Holy Spirit. True wisdom comes from God.
So although we could use our intelligence to achieve everything possible in the world, that‘s not enough. We need love as well. Those words from the Bible about gaining the whole world but losing our souls keep going through my mind. I’m not sure they are appropriate and relate to my thoughts, but I’ll mention them anyway.
What I am certain about is this: love is the most important thing in the world. Love is what we need to give to our kids. Of course, if our kids have academic talents, we should nurture them. They have been given to them for a reason. They will use them to make a difference in the world. As long as they are used with love.
Learning happens best in an atmosphere of love. Love is the best reason to do anything. We shouldn’t battle or push our kids to frustration or get angry and upset or worried about the future. Instead, we should trust God. And love.
Our kids could be great thinkers. They could also be great lovers. With the Holy Spirit, they can be both. Our foremost task is to make sure our children experience love.
I hope these imperfect thoughts can lead to an interesting discussion!
Something Extra
Maybe this short video goes well with my imperfect thoughts about love!
The words in this video come from the blog post, Will We Have Done Enough?
Photos
Imogen, Charlotte and Gemma-Rose. The love we give to our kids is reflected in their relationships with other people.
Hi Sue,
Yes, with the Holy Spirit, they can be both:). With the Covid-19 circumstances right now, of course it is crucial that we have government and medical specialists putting their intelligence and academic achievements to use, but also that they act from the heart. I watched a few officials giving announcements today who began their speeches with how thankful they’ve been for the love and respect people are showing one another. I love that. Really, it’s important that everyone, not just government and medical leaders, is acting as wisely as possible but it is also so important that we all have heart and show God’s love. Today I saw someone go to take some last products on a grocery store shelf and then stop and leave it when they noticed someone else was also hoping for it. Those are the simple things that I think are so important and that we want to pass on to our children:).
Erin,
Thank you so much for sharing your grocery store story. It lifted my spirits. That was indeed an act of love during a difficult time. We’ve seen so many stories about people fighting each other for supplies, it’s sometimes hard to see the good. But it’s there. And, yes, those little acts of kindness are so important. I’m so glad you stopped by!
As you know, I love this topic because it gets right down to the basic philosophy we follow. I keep questioning the academics, the skills that need years to build up, because I don’t want my children to think I did not educate them well. I don’t want to leave big gaps, although I just came across Sarah Mackenzie of the Read Aloud Revival saying that “gaps are gifts.” What a beautiful way to turn our fears around and see that what we accidentally miss teaching about or covering can be something lovely for our kids to discover in later years. Mostly we worry that they will be upset that we missed something or didn’t give them the opportunity to learn something they think would have been important. Was there anything you used besides the syllabi or standards from public education to help make sure your kids didn’t have big gaps? I’m thinking of historical events and people or how the government works. I don’t love looking at the school standards often–Ours are simultaneously vague and overwhelming.
Another thing: it is said that a classical education cultivates wisdom and virtue through the study of truth, goodness, and beauty. Who doesn’t want their kids to be wise and virtuous? I think we tend to believe that if we see people who are wise and virtuous, their education caused it. I am really starting to think that God’s grace fills in the gaps everywhere if we are trying to do our best. That is why it can look like many types of education “work.” I have more thoughts on this that I’ll try to eventually bring up in your community!
Emily,
Gaps are gifts… I love those words! As an adult, I have enjoyed discovering so many different things that I didn’t hear about at school.
My kids were meant to follow the school syllabus as part of their homeschool registration requirements, so I glanced at it now and then. I often got strewing ideas from the syllabus. But I never used it as our plan. If my kids’ interests matched up with the syllabus that was good. If they didn’t, I never worried about it. I didn’t even think about gaps in my kids’ education, because I knew they were learning what they needed to know at the time, and they could always learn more later if needed. And that’s what’s happening!
I love your thoughts about wisdom and virtue and God’s grace filling the gaps. Oh yes, let’s discuss this topic in our community!