Not so long ago, early one morning, I put on my coat – there was a bitter wind blowing – and set out on a solo adventure with my camera and a travel mug of coffee.
Thirty or so minutes later, I turned off the main road and bumped my way over a few potholes and a cattle grid, and arrived at a nature reserve alongside the river. I’ve been to this place many times with my girls for picnics. And we’ve made a few music videos here too.
We’ve had a bit of rain recently, so I was eager to see if the river was flowing over the weir. Last time I visited, the river level was only high enough for a sad trickle of water. As I turned the bend in the path, I could hear splashing waterfalls. It was a fabulous sound.
Although I took lots of photos, the sun was coming from the wrong direction for good ones. It was shining towards me as I aimed my camera at the weir. I really should have been at the river at sunrise to get the best images. We used to do that when we made music videos. We‘d get up in the dark, pack our cameras, breakfast and ourselves into the car, and then set out, hoping we’d get to our location before the first light of the day.
A few years ago, my daughter, Imogen, and my husband, Andy, recorded the song Loch Lomond right in front of the weir. It was a cold winter’s morning but, like normal, we’d endured numb fingers and toes, and cold noses, and put up with the shivers with smiles. It was just what we had to do. We were making a music video together. The suffering was worth it. Anyway, we always had coffee and breakfast when we finished. Our post-filming picnic breakfast tasted so good!
I miss making videos with my girls. Sometimes I yearn to go back in time. Or I wish Imogen would say, “I feel like making a new music video. Who wants to help me?” I’d reply, “I will!” I’d look forward to snapping loads of photos while Sophie filmed Imogen singing her latest song. Charlotte would film the behind-the-scenes video. And perhaps we’d also film Gemma-Rose singing her own silly version of the song.
Then we’d come home and watch all the video clips, and Sophie and Imogen would choose the best ones and assemble them into a music video. After many hours’ work, the girls would say, “The video is ready! Who wants to watch?” We’d gather around Sophie’s computer for the premiere and then smile and say, “Wow! It looks good!” And I’d feel very proud of my kids.
It’s good to be proud of our kids, to soak up the joy that comes from seeing them work hard and achieve their goals. That’s a fabulous feeling. But can parents be tempted to claim their kids‘ achievements for themselves? I sometimes wonder if I want Imogen to make more music videos so I can bask in the reflected glory. “Your kids are very talented!” people might say again. It’s wonderful to hear those words, isn’t it? We must be doing something right if our children are doing amazing things.
Often we push our kids to use their talents. If they are reluctant to do what they’re good at, we complain: “You’re wasting your talent!” But are they? Perhaps they’re just not using their talents in the way we’d prefer and at the time that suits us. Maybe the real problem is that we think we’re going to miss out on all the advantages of having kids who are doing fabulous things.
So, on that windy cool day, I stood at the weir with the sun shining in my eyes and remembered those brilliant days when four girls and a mother worked hard, endured the cold, and laughed while making music videos. Although those days are gone, my kids’ talents didn’t go to waste: we have so many special memories of those early mornings spent together, connecting closely as we learnt how to be a team.
And the future? Will we ever make more videos? I don’t know, but there’s one thing that I’m certain about: if we don’t, we’ll still keep learning, and using our skills, and helping each other, and doing the things that are important to each of us. We don’t have to worry about talents going to waste.
All we need to worry about is pushing our kids to do things for the wrong reasons: so we can bask in the reflected glory.
My New Book
Have you checked out my new children’s novel, The Angels of Wallaby Way? It’s available on Amazon!
