Last weekend, my son Callum came home for a visit, and on Saturday morning, we had a breakfast picnic together at our local lake. After we’d eaten, we took Callum’s dog for a walk around the lake. It wasn’t a quick walk. Every few metres, we had to stop because people kept asking, “What breed is your dog?”
Callum’s 5-month-old puppy, Crash, is a Great Dane/Stag Hound/Staffy cross. He has a striking coat, huge oversized paws that he’ll grow into, and a beard.
One man looked at Callum’s magnificent beard and said, “You and your dog match!” And his wife added, “It’s funny how pets and their owners often look like each other.”
“I’m beginning to look like our Shar-Pei/Great Dane dog,” I said. “It’s just a pity that the dog’s wrinkles are considered cute, and mine aren’t!”
The woman was quick to deny the existence of my wrinkles, but she was just being kind. Unfortunately, I’ve been trying to come to terms with my a-little-bit-crinkly face for a while.
A few years ago, I wondered: what if wrinkles were considered beautiful? Then I explored that idea in a story called What if Wrinkles Were Beautiful?
Yes, what if we got more and more beautiful as we age? We might look forward to getting older if that happened.
I suppose if we’re becoming the people we were created to be, we should become more beautiful with time, despite the wrinkles. Our inner beauty should shine out and make us glow.
Why do some dogs and their owners look alike? I suppose we might choose an active dog because we like to run or a quirky looking dog because we have a unique appearance ourselves. (Did Callum choose a hairy-chined dog because of his own fabulous beard?)
Although we choose our pets, we don’t usually choose our children. We receive them as gifts and then unwrap their delights as they grow.
Do we hope our kids will be like us? Do we want them to be interested in the things we love? We probably want them to adopt our values and beliefs. Could we try to force our ideas upon our children? Or do we take pleasure in the uniqueness of each child and allow them to develop their own interests, ideas and opinions?
Once, in a podcast interview, my teenage daughter Sophie said that she’s turning into a mini-Mum despite me not pressuring her to be just like me. I know that Sophie has interests and qualities that are all her own but yes, deep inside, we’re very similar. We share our core values. How did that happen? I think it has a lot to do with connection.
When we’re bonded closely with our kids, we become the most important people in their lives. They trust and listen to us, and look to us when considering the important things of life. And yes, they might end up adopting all the beliefs that we sometimes get so anxious about sharing with them.
Sophie and I have some physical features in common, and we enjoy lots of similar interests, such as photography. And we share our core values.
The big question is this: am I becoming the kind of person I want my daughter to be?
